AIBU to think it’s not me who’s ‘odd’

[NotOdd]

Apparently (according to bf) I’m odd, out of touch and not like “most people” because I think Sunday roast lunch as a regular standard default family event is normal and that about now is the time to start firming up Christmas plans in terms of guests etc.

Bf says he knows no one who regularly has a Sunday roast lunch or anyone who thinks about Christmas “this early”. He thinks this is because I come from a “backward” part of the country 🙄

I am genuinely confused because literally everyone I know (bf and his family aside) would have a roast Sunday lunch (not set in stone, other things may happen instead ie days out, bbq in the summer etc) and everyone I know either has, or nearly has, their Christmas plans settled. When I say ‘everyone’ I mean my whole family, my EXH whole family (going by knowing them for 20 years) and all my friends.

AIBU for thinking it’s not me who’s the ‘odd’ one?

Sunday roast, yes, we’re a big family and we like to eat together and use the roast to plan other meals around.

Christmas, not yet, but tbh we do the same thing every year and it doesn’t involve masses of organisation (no travelling family) bar sorting presents which is done closer to the time as children’s wants/sizes etc change.

I start planning Christmas once the summer holidays are over - mainly because I make chutney and jams and small Christmas cakes plus back when money was tight I'd start early to put away non-perishables gradually - things like adding a bottle of wine or a bottle of spirits to my grocery shop so there's a nice stock in the house to drink give as gifts.

In Autumn then I start to add in the long-life perishables to the shopping -fondant for cakes, gelatine, cranberry sauce, boxes of chocolates, biscuits and make things like gingerbread dough and soup stock, freezing it ahead of time and so on.

So by the time I need to do the 'big Christmas shop, it's really only the perishables and the last minute things I need to get. We aim to get all the groceries and gifts (click & collect) in by the 23rd so that Christmas Eve is a day of chilling out and kicking off the Christmas vibe.

But I love Christmas. Both of us are off from usually the 23rd to the new year so we treat it like a proper 10-12 day family holiday. We don't go mad with gifts but I will splurge on good food and drink for Christmas.

We had Sunday lunches when we were growing up and I loved them. Helping Dad pick the veg from the garden then helping Mum peel the veg - family favourites on the radio. When the weather was good we'd usually go out for a walk after lunch and in winter we'd watch a film and then have a huge tea while watching Ski Sunday (proper working class family and none of us have ever skiied ). Tea was scones and cake and maybe trifle - lovely!

I would love to still have a roast on Sunday, either lunch or supper time, but DH isn't keen on roast dinners (get the feeling his Mum wasn't particularly good at them!)

Don't think about Christmas until November, earliest.

We do start thinking of Xmas at this point in my family, but it's more of a logistics thing. I also buy gifts as and when I find things through the year. Sometimes I have all the wrapping done and shopping lists made by the end of September. More often I don't bother thinking about it until the second week of December.

We do roasts more than once a week; day not set. Sometimes it hits on a Sunday. But if we go round friends/family (Obviously talking about pre-2020) or they come to us it will 99% of the time be a roast.

I don't think it's odd though. I'm a prepper and an overthinker (and from a sleepy nowhere) so I might not be the best person to ask

I agree with your bf

We only eat roasts in winter months when we aren't busy. I don't know anyone who eats roasts all year round unless they go to a pub or carvery. Summer is far too hot to be cooking a roast

I think it's crazy to make Xmas plans this early- especially this year when we won't know the rules until closer the time. I wouldn't be planning until November at the earliest. I am single with 3 kids so buy bits and bobs during the year to spread the coat though.

I do a Sunday lunch most Sundays and we have my mum over, sometimes siblings and kids or friends too, sometimes this will be a bbq or picnic out if the weather is nice but mostly its a traditional roast. I think it's a nice way to spend time together and my children much prefer to see visitors, play a few board games etc than get dragged round the shops

We have roasts but not on any set day.

We start talking about xmas at the end of summer, so probably another month or so - but this year will have to be the year of no plans because we have no idea of the situation we will be in due to this damn virus.

maybe the roast thing is a sensitive issue as it denotes 'conservative' with a small c to some people? this can make those who grew up in other homes a bit defensive, i used to feel like this

I bet the Christmas chocolate tubs and tins appear long before the children ( finally) go back to school! ..

We have Sunday dinner every week. If we can't do it on a Sunday (which is rare) we do a Monday Sunday dinner.
We've not started to think about Christmas yet but we do the same thing every year so it's not a big deal.

i'd be far more concerned that your bf says you come from a 'backward' part of the country.

Yanbu. We have a Sunday lunch a couple of times a month and my dp’s lot have just been invited to ours for Christmas lunch and they’ve all accepted. If you really want to weird him out, tell him I’ve provisionally invited my family for Xmas 2021 as we go year about and I don’t want to trail to someone else’s house

@53Jeremyironsnothing agree this Christmas is anyones guess

Quite a lot of people seem to have their Christmas plans firmed up already. We are planning an extended family trip away but every single cottage we have enquired about so far is fully booked. I thought booking 6 months ahead would be plenty but it seems not!
Our family is scattered across the country and whilst we wouldn't normally have the details sorted out by this time of year, we have usually had some conversations about people's general plans by now. I don't think it is odd to have made plans this far ahead or odd not to have - it depends on your individual circumstances. In my previous work place the Christmas duty rota was always written before the end of the summer school holidays so that people could plan ahead, but then over half the department had family abroad and usually wanted to book flights. If everyone was planning to spend Christmas locally it wouldn't have been so important.

It's too early for Christmas plans but Sunday roast is always lovely (not just on a Sunday).

I don’t do a Sunday roast every week and I’ve not done it at all in lockdown.

Christmas will be firmed up in about October.

@stovetopespresso

maybe the roast thing is a sensitive issue as it denotes 'conservative' with a small c to some people? this can make those who grew up in other homes a bit defensive, i used to feel like this

I've never heard of that. Even poor people used to have a Sunday roast of some description, maybe with a cheap cut of meat but all the trimmings and it was lovely. I never 'get' defensive about not having something that others do, anyway. What's the point? Everybody has people who have more, or less, than them. It's rather snobbish to be defensive and especially so about food because everyone is different.

For all that and as much as I love roasts, it isn't set in tablets of stone that we have to have one on a Sunday. When there is just two of you (kids gone), it's often easier to have chops (but done like a Sunday roast :-)), or something else entirely.

anabanana a rare sighting of the elusive 2021 Christmas plans started species ! Hats off to you !

We were a working class council estate family but my mum always cooked a roast with homemade Yorkshire puds. Still not as good as my late mother in laws roasts , but very nice all the same.
Lots of veggies and lovely gravy and meat from the local butcher. Took her and me all morning to prepare , so maybe this is why it's fading out and a joint of any meat isn't cheap these days either ( if your a meat eater of course!)
It's a bit of an art form to get right.

I don't understand how some posters think a roast takes hours to prepare and cook and then to clear up.

We always make our own roast potatoes and yorkshire puddings and have fresh veg and there is no way it takes hours to prepare or cook. Even making a veggie dish to go with it doesn't take that long.

We always eat our main meal in the evening so that's when we have a roast too. We eat about 7.30.

Loads of you seem to have plans for Christmas but aren't you worried we won't be able to meet up with family? We spend it with my family and that is 16 people from 9 different households. I will be very surprised if the rules are relaxed that much.

As I said, I think the rules will be tightened again once the weather gets colder

I'm with you OP. Sunday is for a family lunch and Christmas is planned for 20 years ahead. We always have the same thing and the same people (whole family).

DM was a great cook but couldnt somehow do a roast dinner to save her life and so it put me right off them once I'd left home. DH loves them. Dkids are veggie and so we rarely cook them . Maybe more of a winter thing than this time of year tbh.
Xmas - no point in making plans yet until we feel certain no second wave/lockdown. Dkids only want hard currency at their age so only need to buy stockingfillers nearer the time

and being veggie doesnt have to stop this traditional choice.

I'd rather eat my own fingers than think about Christmas right now. It's one day!

Sunday dinner, we'd have it every week if we weren't busy that day.

I do like to have a nice meal on a Sunday evening but it’s not necessarily a roast. Christmas begins in late November/ early December!

I’m with you as far as Christmas is concerned. We normally work out where/with who well in advance! DH’s parents are divorced and his grandmother lives alone and quite close to us, and none of them get on with each other so there’s a rota! When we got married we planned out most of the next decade . Now we have kids, it’s also much easier to plan ahead.