AIBU to think it’s not me who’s ‘odd’

[NotOdd]

Apparently (according to bf) I’m odd, out of touch and not like “most people” because I think Sunday roast lunch as a regular standard default family event is normal and that about now is the time to start firming up Christmas plans in terms of guests etc.

Bf says he knows no one who regularly has a Sunday roast lunch or anyone who thinks about Christmas “this early”. He thinks this is because I come from a “backward” part of the country 🙄

I am genuinely confused because literally everyone I know (bf and his family aside) would have a roast Sunday lunch (not set in stone, other things may happen instead ie days out, bbq in the summer etc) and everyone I know either has, or nearly has, their Christmas plans settled. When I say ‘everyone’ I mean my whole family, my EXH whole family (going by knowing them for 20 years) and all my friends.

AIBU for thinking it’s not me who’s the ‘odd’ one?

I’ve just bought some bargain Christmas scented candles, couldn’t resist the offer.

Yes, agree with your BF. You and everyone you know is odd.
BTW are you from Norfolk?

I never understand buying Christmas gifts this early. Dont you ask people what they want? I might buy something for the kids fron October on but I would never plan Christmas this early.

I think a lot more people work weekends now so certainly in our house we have a roast as and when I can be bothered and that is probably once a month and never on a Sunday as I work Saturday nights

My gran used to make a roast every Sunday. Oh how I miss those days! If I go out for lunch on a Sunday I will order a roast so I don't think it's that odd.

For Christmas, I might start thinking about shopping soon but for agreeing numbers etc, that usually gets left until about November as people's plans tend to change.

If we're home on Sunday we may have a roast dinner BUT it is veggie and we don't always have it at lunchtime, sometimes its in the evening.

As for Christmas - I start planning my theme on 1st January!

I used to love a good Sunday roast when I ate meat, but even then it would be more of a once a month thing than every week - maybe would go to family or have someone over and make the effort to do a roast.

These days it’s unusual, I’m not into meat replacements like the quorn roast but I might occasionally do a veggie pie or similar with roast type trimmings. Or we’d go to the pub and meat eating DH can have a carvery and I’ll generally have cheese and onion pie or something.

Christmas might drift across my mind occasionally - we’ve previously alternated between hosting in laws at our house one year and travelling the four hours to my sister’s for Christmas the next, so I’d generally know which year we were in. No way would I have worked out any details though. Last year we got married at Christmas so things were different and this year we’ll have a new baby (well 5 months by then). So I’ve thought as far as ‘well I’m neither hosting nor travelling this year’ but not thought any more about it than that.

I don’t think either of you are ‘odd’ though. People do things differently is all.

Sunday roast lunch as a regular standard default family event is normal

I grew up with that tradition every Sunday. In my 20s wasn't fussed but DH was so often did one - he does one most weeks now so my kids are growing up with it as well.

I get last child birthday out the way and start chritsmas shopping right after - September we start adding chirstmas goods to monthly shopping lists. It spreads the costs out.

We tend to have family over in christmas school holidays at weekend rather than day itself or travel to them- that takes less planning I find. There's less pressure on meals and transportable presents.

I probably have a Sunday roast every 6 weeks or so. Christmas arrangements will start making at beginning of December. So op I think you are unusual but nothing wrong in being prepared if that’s your thing.

I can’t remember the last time we had a Sunday roast. There’s only 3 (soon to be 2) of us in the house, so maybe that’s why? I’d happily be invited to one though!
As for Christmas, I do turns about with my ex, but other than knowing it’s my year with the kids, I haven’t even thought about planning.

I bought a Christmas tree this week. Because I've been after one of the "posh" ones for ages, my old artificial tree is 18 years old and falling to bits, and Balsam Hill had a 50% sales on.

But it's gone straight into the loft where it will remain until mid-December. I am just not into Christmas enough to be planning it all year, what a chore and what a bore! I find people who are obsessed with Christmas and plan the day relentlessly through the entire year a bit unhinged tbh.

He thinks this is because I come from a “backward” part of the country
So basically he's calling YOU 'backwards'!
How else does he insult you???

You can have a roast dinner whenever you want and call it whatever you want!
I know lots of families who choose to have a family 'catch up/gathering' over a sunday meal.

As for planning for christmas - i wasn't aware there was a rule book or that we have to follow the herd mentality!
i know people who celebrate christmas in summer - according to their religious beliefs....

Making time for your family (support network) is not a 'backward' thing - and his attitude says more about him than his words do......that he has a problem with your relationship with your support network.
Re christmas - if you didn't organise things and take on the mental load would he do it???

It sounds to me like he's up to fuckshit and is waving his red flags.....

we have a roast or some kind pf special meal as a family every sunday and arent from any particular part of the country as our families always lived abroad. as left-leaning tech savvy nerds i dont consider us to be backward!!

I work with teenagers and we have a Sunday lunch roast every week without fail, albeit we also have rice and peas, plantain thrown in.

Sorry, you're odd.

I don't understand at all why a roast dinner is such a big deal. It's nothing special compared to most decent home cooked meals and produces a disproportionate amount of washing up.

This is kind of how I feel. I just don’t get the sheer enthusiasm some people seem to have for some meat, veg and gravy. Done well, it can be nice enough. But it’s not really anything spectacular. I can think of loads of ways to cook and serve roast meat that are just more interesting than the traditional English route.

A roast done in the various ways described as ‘low fuss’ on this thread (served with frozen veg that’s been boiled and instant gravy etc), it’s not a meal I’d be enthusiastic about it the least. It’s really not my sort of food.

And absolutely to the washing up. It produces a ridiculous amount. Especially for what it is. And the amount of washing up just multiplies if you try to make any of the constituent parts more interesting.

I love a roast dinner but not exclusively on a Sunday.

Some years we have Christmas organised by the end of the summer but in this weird uncertain year I am at a loss to see how any one can have firm plans.

sunday roasts most week here too, not when it's super hot or we're out, but if we're at home, it's a meal that takes a lot of cooking time, but little effort in that time, so perfect for pottering at home on a sunday meal.

We also have known since last Christmas that this year it'll just be DH, me and the DCs on Christmas day. We will be seeing PIL on Boxing day and my side on one of the days between Christmas and New Year all together unless we decide to go away skiing with the money we would have spent on going on holiday this Easter and Summer

I don't understand the people who have lots of options for Christmas, surely you've ended up falling into a pattern of who you see when?

Yes Sunday roast every week unless other plans like you said. But I’m late with Christmas plans. May start to think about it in October.

His calling you and your family backwards, at this stage, is the big problem here (sounds like a 'joking / not joking', dressing up insults as 'banter', thing, is that right?). How else does he put you down - and expect you to take it, to accept his ways, his preferences, as normal and mould your ways, yourself, to his?

It's the kind of 'truth in humour' that would only be acceptable after marriage. That is, after you've had plenty of time to work out he is an all round decent sort, establish yourselves as equal partners, then trust each other and the strength of your partnership enough to share home truths.

There’s no such thing as a backwards part of the country! What an insult!

I don’t bother with Sunday roasts at all now as half of us are vegetarian here.

Christmas is in December and I don’t really want to think about it much before then. If I am honest, I would be quite happy if Christmas was every two years instead of annually as I think it comes around far too quickly.

The only early planning I do for Christmas is because we like to go out to a local restaurant just 5 minutes walk up the road. That tends to need booked around August or no later than September.

You aren’t odd to do as you do though.

I once cooked a roast on a Monday because we had been out on the Sunday, my teenage Son was horrified and insisted his favourite dinner was only for Sunday's. As for Christmas dinner, the plans have been made already( i wont tell you about the presents etc that have already been bought)

Actually reading this thread has made me change my mind a bit. I was astonished that this year of all years people would be planning so far ahead (save for travel/booking/older relative type situations). Now reading this thread has given me a feeling that for once it would be good to do a bit of early shopping etc. Low key and all subject to change due to Covid. Seems a good thing to look ahead to some normality and a concrete date, even if it too goes tits up.

I cook a Sunday Roast every single Sunday unless it's super hot weather or we are going out for the day e.g Thorpe Park

I start thinking about Christmas towards the end of October beginning November no earlier than that and definitely not in the summer months although I do normally book my Christmas Panto in May/June to get a good seat but haven't this year as unsure if it'll be going ahead

Growing up we ALWAYS had a roast on a Sunday. Nowadays we're just as likely to have a roast on a random Tuesday. Certainly wouldn't have one every Sunday.

I don't even think about Christmas until at least October... Which is when I start thinking about Christmas shopping.

topsyt biannual Christmas ! I agree except for this year. I think if ‘they’ cancelled Christmas on top of everything else there would be riots !