AIBU to think it’s not me who’s ‘odd’

[NotOdd]

Apparently (according to bf) I’m odd, out of touch and not like “most people” because I think Sunday roast lunch as a regular standard default family event is normal and that about now is the time to start firming up Christmas plans in terms of guests etc.

Bf says he knows no one who regularly has a Sunday roast lunch or anyone who thinks about Christmas “this early”. He thinks this is because I come from a “backward” part of the country 🙄

I am genuinely confused because literally everyone I know (bf and his family aside) would have a roast Sunday lunch (not set in stone, other things may happen instead ie days out, bbq in the summer etc) and everyone I know either has, or nearly has, their Christmas plans settled. When I say ‘everyone’ I mean my whole family, my EXH whole family (going by knowing them for 20 years) and all my friends.

AIBU for thinking it’s not me who’s the ‘odd’ one?

When we were first married I nearly always cooked a Sunday roast or we would go to his mums for Sunday lunch , as hers was the best I've ever tasted and nothing ever will come close( ditto Christmas dinner too. )

As time moved on it's become a bit redundant : I might do a mid week roast now and again , but mostly it's a real treat now and the buying and clearing up of it all is just too much faff usually or people are just not around anyway! It isn't the big thing it used to be.
I was wondering when we would see Christmas things in the shops and I did think they might appear by the end of August because of the covid situation and people wanting to spread out the buying of ' things that keep' etc. An aisle was being emptied out in the big store the other day which would normally hold seasonal goods ..
it's not ' backwards ' to plan in advance : with what happened in March with the panic buying etc , it might be a good idea to buy some things now and stock up a bit.
Some people are just more organized about Christmas than others, which isn't a bad thing!

I make a roast every Sunday and I have already started a payment plan for expensive Christmas things I want no one thinks I’m weird a few people I know are the same too

I think it's extremely odd to be thinking about Christmas in July, especially wanting to make firm plans. Nope on the Sunday roast as well, times have changed and not everyone eats a dead animal at the weekend because it's traditonal. OP you sound a little old fashioned in your thinking.

We usually have a roast type dinner on Sunday - mainly because we all enjoy them! But a roast could just be chicken thighs with all the trimmings rather than a whole chicken or it could be a casserole instead if we're busy (I'll make it the day before).

We don't normally sort out Christmas - as in who is going to whom - until nearer November.

But this year I've started getting the jar/tin/packet stuff for Christmas dinner as an add on here and there when I'm in the shops. Then I'm storing them in the spare bedroom. I'll add the odd box of mince pies or the Christmas pud to it as they arrive in the shops. The thought of going into rammed shops (as they usually are mid December onwards) with the added Covid queues outside (in the cold and wet) makes me shudder. Adding to that, trying to get my one paltry pack of rolls or loaf of bread amid the normal Christmas panic buying of people with trolleys full of the '15 loaves of bread in case we run out by Boxing day' on top of the possibility of any sort of lockdown panic buying...no thanks.

Hopefully, by Christmas I'll be in the position of just getting the fresh stuff a few days before and will be able to do that with a basket. Just to save my Christmas sanity!

I am already looking at Christmas gifts though - especially if I'm ordering on the internet. I run a small business and my first class parcels are taking up to two weeks to arrive at the moment. If that continues and is added to the normal delays with the post because of Christmas buying, you could be looking at 3-4 week delivery times. So I'm getting the internet stuff done by beginning of November just in case.

This Christmas is going to be a bit different I think so I'm just doing sensible things bit by bit.

We only have a Sunday roast on some Sundays and then only our immediate family (me, DP and 2 adult DS who live with us). I do it when I feel we haven't had one for a couple of weeks, but not in summer. Christmas dinner will be planned at the start of December unless we are going away skiing or something, in which case earlier.

I have to say though that some of the quotes of things your bf has said sound horrible! "Backward parts" "odd" and "out of touch" don't sound like things someone loving would say. Obviously he'll say he is "only joking" and "just fun", but he doesn't sound like he's that nice to you.

I very rarely do a roast and I can’t even think about Christmas now , however - I’d say I was odd in that regard compared to my friends altho clearly not on this thread

We rarely have a Sunday roast. Don't know anyone who has it as a regular thing, and I haven't even thought about Christmas yet.

It depends on what we are doing on the day, what kind of food we're in the mood for, what the weather's like etc. I'm not keen on roasts personally so don't care if I never have them. And no way am I thinking about Xmas in July!! It's summer!!

We don’t do Sunday roast but Christmas is sorted, most presents brought, know who is coming when. I used to leave Christmas until nearer the time but now we spend December having fun and I get to partake fully.

Christmas does not get thought about until December and we never have Sunday lunch. It's a heavy meal for lunch time and means we can't go out for the day. We have Sunday dinner (evening) about twice a month in the winter. It's a little harsh to call you 'odd' but it does seem unusual.

A good Sunday roast can be delicious. But if you make it the "non-faff" way (stick meat in oven, roast some potatoes and steam some veg)... Well that's the kind of thing that makes people think Brits don't make good food. Yeugh.

We're all now wondering where the ' backwards' place is! Do they all only eat roast dinners every single Sunday lunch time? All have lofts and cupboards full of Christmas bits that won't go off?
Your partner sounds a bit mean to be honest. Many people do plan things in advance : more than don't I would think !

Nobody minds if you do you.

But IME if people comment on things like this, it generally means that the same kind of mindset that means you feel uneasy about changing your habits or having others interrupt plans might also be a drain to those around you.

For example, if anyone asked me around now if I was free at Xmas this year for a visit, I'd run hard the other way to avoid being pinned down! Who knows what will happen this year.

If they also expected me to commit in a similar way to weekly events and fit in with regulate routines that pleased someone else I'd be distancing myself from them.

It does come across a little as if you have your way that you've always done things and get really threatened by different lifestyles, which could mean you have difficulties in being flexible or appreciating difference. Not saying you do it's just in my experience the two traits tend to go hand in hand.

We have a roast every Sunday. Because it's delicious and helps teach the kids table manners etc. We look forward to it all week.

But we don't finalise Christmas plans till much nearer the time. Other than a general pattern of alternate dh and my family hometown.

In these uncertain times, Christmas is the furthest thing from most people’s minds right now- but in July?? nope.

No to Sunday roast too.

Not odd for some people, I do get irked when family are trying to arrange christmas plans in june though. Too early for me to even be thinking about it tbh and get a feel that they are getting in there first by talking about it.

Sunday roast is a rare thing for us, certainly not every Sunday by a long stretch, I'd say once every 4-5 months maybe when we think we can be arsed and fancy it.

And I probably don't start thinking about Christmas until around October. And even then it's only because I need to stretch out the present buying a bit to be able to afford everything! I certainly wouldn't be inviting people or arranging our Christmas plans in July.

He's normal. You (and seemingly everyone else you know) are odd.

I do a roast dinner most Sundays .... I love them!
But early for Christmas imo ...

My concern for you OP is your boyfriends attitude towards you ... he’d be going the journey for me I’m afraid.

Yes, pp makes an excellent point. Why must this be about 'always vs never'? Why can't it be 'sometimes, that's a nice thing to do'?

I very very rarely have a Sunday roast.
We used to when we were younger but not since we've been proper adults. (and I say this a 50+ YO)
I do occasionally do a roast on a Sunday and I love it.
But it's a rare treat!
And... I've literally no idea at all as to what is going to happen at Christmas.
I'm not 100% sure about next weekend though TBF!
I used to be a planner - but not any more.
What happens happens and you go from there.

With your bf here, sorry! I have never had a Sunday roast (grew up in a veggie family, but not even a veg equivalent, same now we are vegan) and none of my friends/family do afaik other than a couple who do when they go home to visit their fairly posh old fashioned parents. I like the concept, veganised, but only tend to do that kind of meal as xmas dinner or rare winter evening treat. It is too much hassle. Sunday is a day of rest! Not at lunchtime though, don’t eat xmas dinner at lunchtime either! It feels very old fashioned as a regular thing!

It is far far too early to think about Christmas, I wait until late Nov/Dec to contemplate it (July is madness!) but then I don’t have a big family and I am pretty meh about Christmas anyway tbh!

DP's a rural Devon lad. We have Sunday Dinner every week. As does everybody else, going by the lovely smells drifting across his village.

Meat into slow cooker with herbs from the front garden, four hours later get the veggies sorted out/picked/dug up, washed and cooked. Serve on plate with assorted condiments. Adjust constituent parts according to season/weather.

Going to have to make some changes when he starts his next shifts on Sundays, but it'll be happening anyway.

Resolutely having a burger, microwave lasagne or stir fry to make a point about class seems silly, as the people I knew who did that on Sundays were the ones who couldn't afford meat and veg/whose children solely existed on jam sandwiches for the rest of the week, so a burger and some oven chips were high class dining to them.

I crave a Sunday dinner if we ever miss it. It’s normal. Also we sorted Christmas plans as soon as partners shifts changed - I wanted to ‘baggsy’ my mum

I grew up having a roast every Sunday, as did DH and we have one most Sundays. Completely normal to me.

Also firming up Christmas plans, but I am both a planner and a Christmas nut so I accept I am in the minority here. Our Christmases are on a rotational schedule with mine and DH family so we roughly know what we are doing each year anyway.

Nothing wrong with wanting a roast most Sundays so long as you are flexible about it not happening for any reason.