AIBU to think it’s not me who’s ‘odd’

[NotOdd]

Apparently (according to bf) I’m odd, out of touch and not like “most people” because I think Sunday roast lunch as a regular standard default family event is normal and that about now is the time to start firming up Christmas plans in terms of guests etc.

Bf says he knows no one who regularly has a Sunday roast lunch or anyone who thinks about Christmas “this early”. He thinks this is because I come from a “backward” part of the country 🙄

I am genuinely confused because literally everyone I know (bf and his family aside) would have a roast Sunday lunch (not set in stone, other things may happen instead ie days out, bbq in the summer etc) and everyone I know either has, or nearly has, their Christmas plans settled. When I say ‘everyone’ I mean my whole family, my EXH whole family (going by knowing them for 20 years) and all my friends.

AIBU for thinking it’s not me who’s the ‘odd’ one?

I’m odd and I’m OK with that. I don’t do Christmas and don’t ever recall having a roast dinner growing up and therefore, no roasts as an independent adult (barring being at someone else's home).

I wouldn’t bother showing him this thread 😬.

Be odd and proud of it!

Sunday lunch not at all odd. Far too early to start thinking about Christmas, especially in the current circumstances. Madness.

We all love a Sunday roast, but it's a once or twice a year deal, only if we have people coming round. We generally have lots of sporty stuff on during the weekend, so no time for peeling & parboiling potatoes etc. It's very time consuming!

We sort of plan Christmas by checking when DH is working, and when his decent length gap between working days turns out to be. He often works Christmas Day/Boxing day so we make basic (location) plans as soon as we know his rota. Then forget all about it until December...

Not RTFT, but going off the OP only I think you are odd. Backwards is a bit harsh though

We don't even think about starting to plan for numbers for Christmas until we are on the verge of buying food. We've been known to have last minute confirmations on about the 23rd. On one occasion we even had an unscheduled dog who was meant to leave on the 24th and just... didn't. He dealt with the leftovers like a champ.

TBF I don't do anything at all for Christmas prior to the 1st December unless it's either
a) seeing something that would be a good gift for a hard-to-buy-for family member and buying it on the spot (especially if it's in the sales)
b) picking menu choices for the office Christmas party

Apart from that, Christmas is a four letter word until 1st December.

We like a roastnon sunday but have it for dinner (evening) not lunch, although it's not set in stone and we sometimes have other things.

As for xmas well, I might start thinking about in november but more likely december. Hkweverbthere are family members who will issue invitations for the following xmas a year ahead!

Roast dinners are meh. My mother always made a massive deal of having one and managed to get herself ridiculously worked up about them, partly because she insisted on working the preparation around going to a morning church service. She was always so upset that she'd put some heroic amount of work in and her small/ preteen/ teen children failed to savour every bite with dramatic non nomming.

I started cooking them for her in my teens and she was even more upset that I discovered it was easier than a good spaghetti Bolognese. After cooking myself I felt able to tell her I didn't especially like roast dinners compared to other home cooked meals and she took this as a personal insult and spite even though I'd cooked the sodding thing.

I don't understand at all why a roast dinner is such a big deal. It's nothing special compared to most decent home cooked meals and produces a disproportionate amount of washing up.

Christmas is also overrated IMO. Planning it in July is incredibly off putting.

Sunday roast: Normal

Christmas plans in July: Ridiculous

We have a Sunday roast most weeks, but not every Sunday, some of the time we’re out all day and as our DC are young they wouldn’t stay up late enough to eat with us. A roast dinner for two is a lot of work and seems pointless.
We’ve just been deciding what to do for Christmas, we can’t agree most of the time so that’s why we start so early, plus I like to have things solidified so that we don’t have to stress nearer the time. I’m not from a ‘backwards’ part of the country (whatever that means) either.

I never cook a Sunday roast because I don't like them!

We do alternate Christmases with my parents and my in laws. Other than that, haven't thought about it at all

Having the same meal every Sunday is quite old fashioned but if it suits you then it's fine obviously

Sunday Roast about once a month here (got to be in the mood to be assed cooking it).

Christmas, well we always go to my parents so no planning needed. We do a secret santa for the adults in the family so that's usually drawn and sorted about Aug/Sept time so we have a while to get sorted.

I haven't Read The Full Thread so am only going by your first post. I thought the Sunday roast dinner (not lunch, dinner) died out decades ago. I don't know anyone who can be arsed doing a full roast every single bloody week. So yes YABU on that.

Re Christmas, plans change, people get sick, etc so to plan Christmas this far out sounds absolutely insane to me. So yes, YABU on this too.

we never have a Sunday roast and nor does anyone I know.

Also...Christmas...nah...Will plan in December.

Sorry but your boyfriend is right. You and your family are odd. Nobody even thinks about Christmas in the middle of the summer, let alone start planning it. Christmas is in December.
As for a Sunday roast...it is nice but not many people bother with it every Sunday. How about pasta or a curry?

I cook Sunday Lunch because I absolutely love it! It is not a hard meal to make.

We eat at 6pm though. It happens every week if we are at home on Sunday, but if we are out and about when we get back we might have something else or we eat out.

As for Xmas, I love that too, but this year the cloud over it is Covid, so no plans for that have been mentioned yet. I do have friends who are already discussing it though.

I sense that your bf thinks you are too rigid in 'having' to have a Sunday Lunch and also having set plans so far ahead for Christmas.

To me, this is not about either of those specific things, it is about rigidity and lack of spontaneity.

My folks used to do a Sunday roast quite often, as it was a way for them to take on some "English traditions" (my family is from the Middle East originally). We enjoyed it, we'd go to Church on Sunday morning (we're Christian) and then have a roast for a late lunch. I must admit that roast dinners are something I don't do often now (I find it easier to cook Middle Eastern food!). I wouldn't say that it was a backwards thing to do. I like the idea of family gathering together for a lovely meal together (just my opinion).
My family and I do talk about Xmas plans from about August/September, but that is because a lot of us are doctors/nurses etc and we like to try and plan things ahead around work and so on. I know I will be working Xmas Day and New Years Day this year, but off on Boxing Day. I'm a single parent, so I have to also think ahead wrt what to do with the kids on Xmas Day etc.

I still do a roast on Sunday from time to time. Most of my family do too. It'sd a really nice way to have the family together. It isn't a chore, because everyone in our family, including the men and teenagers, take turns to do it.

It is a bit early for Christmas! Although when your family is as spread out as ours is, we do generally agree who's going where about now. Not least because some of us book hotel rooms.

Your BF sounds like a belittling kill-joy. So what if you do things differently?

Yes, we mostly had Sunday roast lunch for years. As the kids started doing their own Thing, we’d often go to a pub for a Sunday roast lunch. We’d Aldo meet friends for Sunday roast lunch and in laws too.

During luck down, our kids were back home from uni and we again were having Sunday roast lunch. Daughter’s boyfriend visited us for first tune this past weekend. She asked us to make Sunday roast lunch (20 year old)

So it’s not only an old person thing

Loads of pubs offer Sunday roast lunch. Hugely sold out too

So in that front, your BF is the odd I’ve out

Christmas khans - if you have a number of people In the family to consider Christmas plans, then starting now or even having had the conversation last Christmas about the next one is not odd. Some people may do the same thing every year with the sane people, so don’t need to discuss if. We’re not that type of family so yes, we discuss Christmas plans months in advance

Yes to Sunday dinner, most Sundays we have a family roast.
No to christmas, that starts in November. You are only half odd x

Sunday roast: nice to have, but definitely prefer it in the evening so that it doesn't take over the whole day.

Christmas plans: I would only think about them in November

Christmas plans definitely start getting firmed up in August. It's the rule.

Actually, I had the first WhatsApp last night asking what the kids want from grandparents.

I don’t like the roast Sunday lunch thing. I don’t want to cook and eat a big meal in the middle of the day. It also divides the day and means being stuck at home while it’s cooked and eaten. Saturday is busy and full of chores and sports commitments so Sunday is the day for driving somewhere different to do a long walk with the dog in a forest or on the beach and having lunch out or a car picnic or driving to a specific town to shop and wander or braving IKEA . It’s not all National Trust days out. Even if I know it’s going to be a day slobbing around at home I wouldn’t cook a roast, I’d cook a nice dinner instead. A big lump of bloody meat just isn’t my thing.

You are both being unreasonable - you for thinking it's the norm and him for thinking you're somehow backwards for what you do.

We had a Sunday roast as children in the 70s/ 80s but I became vegetarian in the mid 80s and back then there weren't many veggie options so for me as a teen then adult it wasn't much of a thing. As an adult I found a big Sunday lunch cut into the day too much so can't be bothered with it. Only thing is more recently, since I'm in a relationship with a vegetarian and his DC is also veggie, we do sometimes have a big Sunday lunch together.

Christmas, as a child never bothered with anything before December. As an adult, my parents live in another country so there's some prep beforehand as to whether to travel to spend time out there with them. I'll sometimes think about presents in September because then there's only 3 salary payouts between then and Christmas and I need to budget. Otherwise honestly I wouldn't bother until December.

This is just what I do though. It doesn't make me or anyone else either right, wrong or backwards.