AIBU to think it’s not me who’s ‘odd’

[NotOdd]

Apparently (according to bf) I’m odd, out of touch and not like “most people” because I think Sunday roast lunch as a regular standard default family event is normal and that about now is the time to start firming up Christmas plans in terms of guests etc.

Bf says he knows no one who regularly has a Sunday roast lunch or anyone who thinks about Christmas “this early”. He thinks this is because I come from a “backward” part of the country 🙄

I am genuinely confused because literally everyone I know (bf and his family aside) would have a roast Sunday lunch (not set in stone, other things may happen instead ie days out, bbq in the summer etc) and everyone I know either has, or nearly has, their Christmas plans settled. When I say ‘everyone’ I mean my whole family, my EXH whole family (going by knowing them for 20 years) and all my friends.

AIBU for thinking it’s not me who’s the ‘odd’ one?

Christmas, no far too early.

Sunday, a few people still regular have a roast. My parents without fail will.

I don’t understand the “tied to the kitchen all day” / “too much effort” comments though. Took about 2 hours at the very most to knock up a roast last Sunday, it’s one of the easier things to cook imo.

My parents and grandparents used to cook Sunday lunch. They’re in their 70s and 90s now and they still do. Personally I can’t be bothered. I don’t want a big meal at lunchtime and it’s too much faff. I don’t want to be stuck in the house cooking and washing dishes all day. If I was going to cook a big meal it would be at dinner time not lunch time. It seems to be a generation gap - in general our mums were much more “housewifey” and our generation isn’t. I also think it’s a religious thing - it was traditional to fast before church on Sunday and have a big meal afterwards. Very few of us bother with church nowadays though.

Not necessarily a roast, but a fairly substantial meal, cooked by DH.

The three local grandchildren plus their dad and his GF come plus other DS, his little DS and vegan DP come every three or four weeks as they are not local.

All very pleasant. DGS summed it up, ‘We come as a ravening horde and leave like stuffed pigs.”

Oh and it’s far too early for Christmas! It’s July! We won’t discuss Christmas until about October, I don’t know anyone who organises it in July.

We have regular Sunday dinners if we can. I don’t think there’s anything odd about it. It’s just vegetables and meat and an excellent way of getting veg into my daughter who won’t eat it in other dishes.

I also have most of the presents in for my girl for Xmas and birthday (December born) as the sales are always better in summer than winter so I’ve gotten pretty much everything half price. It means closer to December I can just sit back and enjoy myself and not run around like a headless chicken organising presents, plans, wrapping Etc.
(I learned that the hard way for a few years with a December birthday and Xmas). I already know that I’ll be at my mums Xmas day and parents in law Boxing Day as we alternate yearly. I don’t think there’s anything wrong in slowly preparing and spreading the cost through the year.

Sunday roast about once or twice a month, certainly no thinking about Christmas.until about November.

I don’t know anyone that has a Sunday roast or makes plans for Christmas dinner in July. I really don’t understand people spending hours getting together every Sunday too cool, eat and clean. Once every few weeks I do understand as it’s nice time but our family time on a Sunday tends to consist of walks, beach trips, park trips then a quick dinner which we all love. It’s not really quality time if I spend hours in the kitchen cooking and cleaning away from the rest of my family in my view.

I mean he sounds horrid.

We don't really do Sunday lunch but I start planning Xmas plans around now/next couple of months because my family like to get on with planning sleep arrangements/ who's eating where etc.

It's not like you said you trek butt naked up the hills every Sunday to yodel.

I rarely cook a full roast, maybe a few times a year..I regularly roast a chicken for sandwiches/salads/pasta etc and sometimes do a quick roast just a tray full of Mediterranean style veg and new potatoes , garlic etc to go with a chicken

We only plan Xmas so early because there are a LOT of us. I have step siblings both sides, divorced parents, DP parents. Oh and we all live at opposite ends of the country.

I love the Sunday dinner tradition. It has nothing to do with the meal and everything to do with getting the wider family together for support (grown children, grand children etc. and family tradition. It fell by the wayside in my family as we moved away but always do it if we’re visiting. Always a spot for me at my aunts house who still do it if I need some family support and that really helped me when my father passed away.

I think this all depends on your family and your family circumstances really. And your lifestyle preferences. I haven’t lived anywhere near any of my family for many, many years. Most of my friends don’t live near their families either. As far as I can tell, most of us would rather go out and do something with our partners/children (sometimes with friends too) than have a weekly everyone coming round for lunch and spending the afternoon in the house type of event.

Tbh, I’d dread it if I had to spend every Sunday with my family (three or four times a year is easily enough).

In any case, pre-Covid DS had swim training on Sunday just after lunchtime (or often a gala all day on a Sunday). So the last thing I’d be planning is a big stodgy lunch of any description. DH complained about the crap timing of the swimming not because of lunch, but because it made a proper day out impossible. (But he also complained about early morning training on Saturdays, even though he never had to get up and take DS and it got it all out of the way before he’d even considered getting up; he just likes complaining about swimming).

@NotOdd

I absolutely love a Sunday Lunch and I'd have it frequently if someone else cooked it! I think it's delicious. Actually I think Christmas dinner is like a more glamorous form of Sunday lunch - and I like that too!

As for Christmas plans - I started thinking about it ages ago, mainly because I'm not going to do the same as I have done the last few years and need to manage people's expectations, and get any possible hurt feelings over with before the family start making plans...

Also your BF is just a little rude... 🌹

Took about 2 hours at the very most to knock up a roast
So you’re stuck indoors for at least two hours in the prime part of the day. Three hours if you include the eating and tidying. You can’t go anywhere because it breaks the day in half, and you’re too full to be active in the afternoon. Doesn’t make sense in the modern world... 5-8pm would be a better time to be at home for dinner.

I cook a roast every Sunday as it’s one of the few meals that everyone likes.
It takes minimal effort though and is shove a chicken and a tray of potatoes and veg in the oven and leave to cook. Some more veg on the stove later.

I’ll roast a chicken somewhat regularly but not necessarily do all the trimmings, so we’ll eat the chicken with jacket potatoes or a salad. I usually roast a chicken on a Sunday or Monday but that la because our bin night is Monday and I can get rid of the carcass quickly. We will have a roast with all trimmings occasionally, maybe once every two months?

I’m quite partial to an Indian takeaway on a Sunday night - they’re usually quiet so quite quick and the chefs usually add a little less spice than on a Friday or Saturday night. Plus no cooking when you’ve got the Sunday night blues!

Christmas I’d usually start making plans in September but this year with the uncertainty I’ll probably leave it to the last minute to make plans with family.

And we have the roast for dinner, not lunch.

@TinyMetalBirds aren't all Sunday roasts served at lunch?

As a kid we always had roast dinners on Sunday. Boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, Sunday roast at midday, coffee and biscuits at teatime. Never liked it much but it was our tradition.

Don't think I've cooked a roast for many years now. Even at Christmas we had spag bol at our son's request as none of us actually like roast dinners that much!

And Christmas plans in July? How many people are you expecting?!!

We never ever have Sunday roast unless we have gone to the pub. What a boring waste of time prepping all that every week.

We always eat out at Christmas Day though and normally I'd be booking that about now but none of the pubs are taking booking sat the moment for obvious reasons.

I think it’s always as well to have Christmas plans firmed up in advance so you know where you stand, anyone wanting to go away can plan or let others know not to include them etc.

I don’t do Sunday lunch every week (doesn’t always fit with our plans), but I quite like that my parents do when we go up there. I do it when I cba, but I’ve found that it doesn’t mean as much to children as adults and so don’t make it a fixture.

I put yanbu though.

Tbh I've never understood the Sunday "lunch" thing or Christmas "lunch" either - we have dinner about 5/6pm regardless of what day it is, I just couldn't be arsed having a big dinner in the middle of the day.

I work Sunday's so we don't make a thing of it.

As for Christmas, we have it here then nip along to my mum's if we can be arsed. MIL lives 200 miles away and there's no way I'm traveling that far in December - DH is welcome to of he wants though 😁

I might vaguely think about it but no way would I make concrete plans. It’s one day, nothing to get my knickers in a twist about. Now the kids are older, we don’t always even have a roast. We quite often have steak and chips with DH’s legendary Diane sauce (MIL has said that it’s better that bro in law’s and he’s a Michelin starred chef) 😀

we used to have a Sunday roast 40 years ago. I hated it and dreaded it every week. Christmas? I certainly don't think about that in summer! I don't think we ever would have given it a thought before late November. I think you are very unusual, although it seems a bit mean to say your attitude is "backward". Was it said kindly?

I cook a roast dinner once a week - 10 days but it's not always on a Sunday. Mostly depends on what the whether is doing. If its due to be nice on Sat/Sun we'll be out on a long walk or bike ride and I don't like spending all day in the kitchen if its nice out.

I don't usually organise anything for Christmas as its not my holiday to celebrate but I can understand why people might start thinking about it. People spend just as long planning their summer holidays so it stands to reason if people start on Christmas this far out too.

I associate roast dinners with churchgoing. Both traditions had died out as majority concerns by the 1980s (probably much earlier). The Sunday trading law revolution in the 1990s followed from long-standing demand and the increasingly obvious mismatch between laws and lives.

I also associate roast Sunday dinners with working class families who live close together and can gather in one house, or have many people living in one house.

Small, nuclear, geographically distant families generally do their own thing on Sundays; be that sport, getting out into the countryside, lounging at home, hosting BBQs, or each family member doing something different.

To me, Saturday is the busy 'getting stuff done' day; children's classes, shopping, household chores, DC meet-ups and parties. Sunday is more likely to be a family day - to go out for the day, meet up with family friends etc but that doesn't typically include a roast dinner - and if it did, it would be in the evening, at dinner time and, given how filling and calorific it is, usually only after a particularly active day out.

As for Christmas, unless people are booking flights, what's the rush?

But I agree that your BF is portraying an attitude of 'why would I have to think about that stuff, when it's all organised by mothers?'.