To ask why my colleague has been off sick for weeks and is on the beach?

[waitandseee]

My colleague has had nearly a month off sick leave, yet on facebook, there are photos of her on the beach, and on days out at cafe's. She is paddling in the sea, looking happy and very healthy. Am I being unreasonable to ask why this being allowed by management?

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• * Edited by MNHQ ** Hi all, and thanks to all those who have replied so far. It looks like the OP has left the site and won't be back to update the thread. We'll let the thread run as it's an interesting discussion. ===========================

I actually think it’s fine to “splash it all over social media”. Because a) we’re constantly being told we should talk about MH and normalise instead stigmatise it. And b) if her employers, who have accepted her doctors diagnosis, suggest she can’t be ill if she is sitting on a beach, or shouldn’t be broadcasting her beach sitting, they’d be on shaky ground.

YANBU
She’s tekkin fookin piss!
The posters saying “nunya bizniss” are the type who would grass up their colleagues/neighbours first but yet take moral high ground on MN 😂😂🤣🤣

Anyone diagnosed with a serious illness would not be paddling in the sea grinning, wake up and smell the coffee people!

I think it's really crass to post lovely days out on sm if you are off sick and your colleagues are picking up the slack. Sure, you might have an illness that allows for swimming in the sea but not doing your job, but just good etiquette to be discreet about it surely.

I think this is why colleagues and social media are a really bad mix.

Ex colleague's wife looked amazing in their photos. Happy, healthy, loving what she was doing with the kids instead of being at work.

Her hair fell out later on during her treatment.

So mind your own.

I've been off sick for almost 2 months. my husband took his own life and my mental health took an enormous hit. I tried to go back to work earlier and became seriously unwell with suicidal thoughts. GP encouraged me to go out and do something I would enjoy.

Would you like to be told that sort of thing on enquiring about the reason for your colleague's absence?

I can't believe you are even thinking this. I suppose at least in asking here, you will hopefully take the advice and not ask!

@CantSayJack erm did you miss those of us who experienced things like late miscarriages etc. that did things to try and make ourselves feel better in the weeks that followed? could be anything like this, illness' are not always obvious to see and neither do you know what someone is personally experiencing at that time. I would be gutted if someone had said I was taking the piss when I was going through the hell of a late miscarriage and would of made a crappy time that much worse.

think before you speak

I was off work for months with tendonitis, I could do most of my daily life but typing was agony, and that was a large part of my work.

examples - heart problems - even after major heart surgery you are suppose to exercise but are not allowed back to work until the wound is healed
cancer - lots of therapy & treatment
mental health - particularly stress (caused no doubt by judgemental fellow workers)
Family health issues (carers leave)

Ive been off sick for over a year now. And I went to the beach recently. It did me the world of good.

Well you could ask but imagine management wouldn't tell you and then you'll just look nosey and petty.
There are a hundred reasons she could be off but none of them are your business.
Presumably if she was pretending to be ill she wouldn't be putting photos on SM.

Cancer? Bereavement? Sick child? Mental health issues? Stress from working with nosey 🐮s who stick their noses into other people's business?

To be off for a month she must have doctors note so can't be faking illness.
It could be related to mental health and she needs to get out or she could have had an operation or treatment and this is part of her recuperation, basically its private and not your business although I dont blame you for wondering whats wrong with her yabu to think she's skiving.

@CantSayJack
dh had open heart surgery he couldn.t go back to work (with bloody big wound & stitches) but under the cardiac nurse he was suppose to exercise daily to get his heart back to normal -

You could ask. In fact, it would be a good idea to take it up with management. That way they'll know who to watch for stirring in the team.

Yang to question why she's off sick.

My mum was off sick the whole way through her chemo. She did t just sit indoors.

But I do think people who are off sick shouldn't be posting photos all over SM if them doing other things. I don't know why i think this but I just think it causes feelings like the OP has.

I think you know if your off sick it's not wise though!

Anyone diagnosed with a serious illness would not be paddling in the sea grinning, wake up and smell the coffee people!

Chinny reckon? Because it looks a lot like you're chatting shite.

You need to beak out, OP. The situation is between her and her manager and if you raise it then yiure going to look like a shit stirring troublemaker. You'll also look like a complete shithead if it turns out she has had a serious physical or mental illness or has been through a traumatic time.

Leave it well alone, delete her off social media, and get on with your own life.

I'd pass it on to management and let them decide.

You don't ever know, I will agree with the mass here - but my own personal experience of people on long term sick leave is that they're taking the absolute piss.

Why should management divulge her personal business to you?!

You can't ask why she is off but you can mention it to your manager or HR. Chances are she is off with stress and a relaxing day at the beach is good for her. Its not a good look for anyone though.

Why don't you speak to your colleague as in face to face rather than chat shite on here, she may tell you the truth about her sickness

Yanbu

If she is signed off and still "allowed" to do such activities then she should be being aware of who might be able to see her presenting an image of being well and fine.

The issue is that she's presenting herself as fine when either she's not, or she's pretending she's not.

@CantSayJack my colleague has stage 4 breast cancer and is off sick currently. She wears a wig so you cannot tell that's she's lost her hair, she looks very well. I love seeing her pictures on Facebook.

My brother had a heart valve replacement in March, he's not yet fit enough to return to work but is currently on holiday with my parents.

Another brother is recovering from something traumatic and has a recent diagnosis of PTSD and is overcoming drug addiction. Also not well enough to return to work.

A friend had a knee replacement in January, it went wrong, he needs another. This has been delayed due to the virus. Also signed off work.

Sister partner took his own life in April, threw himself in front of a train. She's currently off work helping her children through it.

A lady in my villages child is terminally ill with neuroblastoma. She's off work and so is her husband.

There's many reasons. I don't judge these people as I have not been in their situation and everybody manages situations differently anyway.
You need to look further than the end of your nose.

Well aren't there some peaches on this thread.
Those chips on your shoulders are going to have you all on long term sick with backache if you're not careful.

Ah, at least then we could piss away the days lying on beaches eating at cafes, posting on social media