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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To ask why my colleague has been off sick for weeks and is on the beach?

413 replies

waitandseee · 27/07/2020 19:43

My colleague has had nearly a month off sick leave, yet on facebook, there are photos of her on the beach, and on days out at cafe's. She is paddling in the sea, looking happy and very healthy. Am I being unreasonable to ask why this being allowed by management?

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  • * Edited by MNHQ ** Hi all, and thanks to all those who have replied so far. It looks like the OP has left the site and won't be back to update the thread. We'll let the thread run as it's an interesting discussion. ===========================
OP posts:
WonderTweek · 27/07/2020 19:56

I was off sick for weeks with a long term back condition that I was utterly fed up of, as well as anxiety and stress because of the chronic pain and the stress of my job. I was encouraged to do whatever I wanted to and told to actively go out and so fun stuff. I definitely needed that time off because I had a full on burnout, so I didn't go off sick for lols. Grin People have different reasons for being signed off sick, some take the mick but surely most people don't? Especially as you would have to go and see a doctor to get the sick note.

CaptainMyCaptain · 27/07/2020 19:57

When I was off sick with depression my GP told me to do things that made me feel happy. To be fair I didn't post any of it on social media.

billy1966 · 27/07/2020 19:57

OP, is it directly affecting you?

If you are being directly impacted then I can understand it might be annoying, but it is her private business.

If her being off means that you are carrying her load and not being supported then YOU have every right to tell your employer that you are unhappy with YOUR situation and you need it to be addressed.

Flowers
icelollycraving · 27/07/2020 19:58

I understand why many people are saying yabu.
It’s all about context really. You aren’t privy to her medical notes (I assume) there are a million reasons that it’d be acceptable to get out and about. Facebook is what people are showing you of their life, not what they aren’t.
Yanbu to feel it’s a pisstake if you are doing more work to help her have this sick leave.
I have splinters in my arse from sitting on the fence Grin

Mangofandangoo · 27/07/2020 19:58

If you are off work with mental health related conditions you are actively encouraged to be out and about. Going to the beach is massively restorative and perhaps that's what your colleague needs

Butterbeeeen · 27/07/2020 19:58

A number of years ago I had a very traumatic MC and took a few weeks off sick from work. In this time DP and I went away for a few days as we needed to escape and get away from people. I can imagine how this looked to some people but it’s none of your business OP.

MandosHatHair · 27/07/2020 20:00

Leave it. Yes she may be a CF but not all legitimate reasons for being off work keep you confined to your bed 24/7. It may reflect badly on you if you snitch to your manager about this, they probably know something you don't.

Heismyopendoor · 27/07/2020 20:00

YABU

Laaalaaaa · 27/07/2020 20:02

I had 6 weeks off after surgery during the time I’d normally be on annual leave and always be abroad. My boss actually encouraged me to go on holiday during my sick leave if I was fit to travel. My consultant had also cleared me to fly - however we just had a little break in the UK as I did not feel flying was sensible.

namechangenumber204 · 27/07/2020 20:03

I was off with a bad back for 4 weeks. I was out and about with my camera every day - because the only relief I got was when walking. I HATE walking but walked over 10 miles every day - fortunately my friends are on FB and so knew exactly why I was out and about. This is the problem - people have hundreds of "friends" on SM and they don't know them at all.

Smallsteps88 · 27/07/2020 20:05

Doctors used to send sick people to the seaside to help them get better.

CookieMonster22 · 27/07/2020 20:06

I have some sympathy with you here OP and think others are being a little unfair. By promoting herself on social media she is effectively making it everyones' business. She might be off with a mental health issue but she should be more mindful about how her colleagues feel watching her having fun whilst they have to pick up her work.

C8H10N4O2 · 27/07/2020 20:06

None of your business but delightful that you reaction to seeing her is to think how she could be scamming the system rather than recovering from any of the 101 conditions which don't make you look suitably sick for the judgemental.

TimeWastingButFun · 27/07/2020 20:07

Maybe she was fine by the time her annual leave came around, or maybe the doctor signed her off work but didn't sign her off resting? Fresh air is good for you after all! Surely she is covered with a doctors note anyway.

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/07/2020 20:08

When I was signed of work with stress, getting out and about really helped. I saw friends, I went to the pub and I relaxed, as soon as I was signed off I felt better and as soon as I went back I felt 100% worse again....which is why I am looking for another job. And also the reason that I have a rule to never friend people I work with on SM.

Maybe you are the reason she was signed off if you are so much of a busybody.

Mary1935 · 27/07/2020 20:08

Oh it’s so easy to get a sick note at some gps.
Yes she is probably taking the piss and she’s not very bright is she posting photos over Facebook.
I’m wondering if those telling you it’s not your business have either done it themselves or have never worked with anyone who does this.
I’ve worked with some hard face cheeky fs in my time.
I put my tin hat on now!!!😀

AramintaLee · 27/07/2020 20:10

Being off sick doesn't mean you have to stay at home, it just means you're not fit for work. Perhaps she has some sort of MH issue... depression or anxiety which is relieved by doing little things that make her happy.

Granted if it were me, I wouldn't be plastering it over social media for all to see, but it's not your place to make any judgements about how she chooses to spend her time off work.

FlamedToACrisp · 27/07/2020 20:11

Gobsmacked to see how many PC people assume your colleague is sick with some random illness that means they're totally fine apart from being unable to work.

I think it's perfectly understandable that anyone's first reaction is to think, "If you're well enough to go to the beach, you're well enough to come back to work!"

SlipperSwan · 27/07/2020 20:11

YABU.

People always say such nasty things in these threads. No one should have to discuss intimate medical details or justify themselves to bullies and gossips.

Sirzy · 27/07/2020 20:12

@FlamedToACrisp

Gobsmacked to see how many PC people assume your colleague is sick with some random illness that means they're totally fine apart from being unable to work.

I think it's perfectly understandable that anyone's first reaction is to think, "If you're well enough to go to the beach, you're well enough to come back to work!"

Because spending some time on a beach is just like being in work isn’t it!
Watermelontea · 27/07/2020 20:13

Some people do honestly take the piss and ‘play the system’, but they’re usually serial offenders, and don’t tend to post it on SM.

Unless you know for a fact that’s she off claiming to have CV/the flu/the shits, and is then off sunning herself, then it’s really none of your bloody business.

Itisbetter · 27/07/2020 20:13

I think if you can go to the beach you can probably do a large part of your work, but I’m aware I’m in the minority. I think there are a lot of people who try very hard and a few who really don’t.

AIMD · 27/07/2020 20:13

I mean if she’s off work with a bad back but posting pictures of herself back flipping, on a surf board, over a waterfall ....then yea that’s a bit cheeky.

If you don’t know why she’s off then I’d keep your nose out. I was off with stress/depression for a couple of months a few years ago. I still went out and did things.

Timetospare · 27/07/2020 20:14

When I was off work with breast cancer, I had a window of a couple weeks between surgery and starting further treatment. I could have returned for a few weeks but was advised by occupational health and my manager to prioritise recovery.
Thank goodness my colleagues were supportive and understanding.

Aridane · 27/07/2020 20:14

Yes, it’s annoyingly as fuck when you’re working flat out and others seem to be taking the puss and you’re picking up the slack. And then. Seemingly rInning your face in it by posting on social media

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