To wonder if we're doing the right thing

[Kitten0192]

I'm new here but could do with some advice

My son is 20 and my granddaughter is 3. Her mum wanted her to be adopted but my son said he'd bring her up. Anyway he has with abit of my help and her mum hasn't contacted him until a few days ago. Asking to see granddaughter and son has said no because it'll confuse granddaughter and he said he doesn't want her involved in his or granddaughtees life. Her mum has said he can't stop her being involved in her daughter's kife.

Are we being unreasonable can we have some advice please

Well your son has been wonderful stepping up for his daughter OP. Parenting just keeps on throwing up challenges, and this is the next one. While I can both understand and empathise that he doesn't want his daughter's mum swanning back in, for the child's sake he has to let her, but he can do it in a calm and managed way, starting by telling the mum that too much over-emotional confusion is not in the child's interests and they should start with a little bit of contact and see how it goes. He's already shown so much maturity in caring for his daughter, with the right support he can keep on being the good dad he's obviously up for being. Bless him, it must be a real shock having her turn up now but to be honest I think it was always on the cards, it must have been hard for her to walk away, too, and she maybe did it as much because she thought it better for her daughter as for selfish reasons. Best of luck to you all OP.