Just sad....and drunk

[drunkmomandsad]

Mom to 4, currently home alone with 3 dc.
My family have just said no to helping us financially to move, this was our last option really. Just feel incredible sad and gutted

Why do adults who are adult enough to create children, expect their parents to help in any way?

Exactly.

OK, I'll bite, even though I think this is a made up scenario.

Why do adults who are adult enough to create children, expect their parents to help in any way?

Seconded.
If the husband is adult enough to create three children (where is the fourth child in this?) then he is adult enough to realise that a hobby job that pays peanuts isn’t going to be enough to keep a roof over their head, feed or clothe them. He sounds like a self-entitled idiot who has a problem with any form of authority if it he considers it beneath him to work for someone else.

He needs to step up and accept responsibility, and either do the wraparound childcare while the OP increases her hours, or go and get a proper job that pays proper wages. He sounds very immature.

20 years in a business that doesn't pay the bills.. .looks like you have 6 children

Time you both started to adult, and pay your own way

Work more hours, get a better job, get childcare for the school drop off.

If your DH won't earn more and you want a better lifestyle you need to earn more.

sorry 5, although I dont know where dc 4 is?

You sound just like my horribly entitled son and DIL! They also wanted us to be guarantors for a property, we had the cheek to ask to see facts and figures before considering this .... so they cut us off, after telling us how awful we were!

You've had three (or 4) children, then you provide for them!

OP if you think letting 2 or even 3 rooms as a B&B is going to solve your financial problems you are totally deluded. It provides a nice bit of income, but if you have a big Capital outlay to start (ie you’ve got to buy somewhere big enough, you don’t already have enough free rooms), then you’ll never make a lot of money over and above your larger mortgage. And had you noticed there’s a pandemic?

And good luck to your kids being able to run around and “let off steam” whilst you have paying guests!!!

Despite what you read in the papers people are nervous about going away, mixing over breakfast etc. It’s a TERRIBLE time to be going into hospitality! Stick with your PAYE

@doityourselfnow

You sound just like my horribly entitled son and DIL! They also wanted us to be guarantors for a property, we had the cheek to ask to see facts and figures before considering this .... so they cut us off, after telling us how awful we were!

You've had three (or 4) children, then you provide for them!

They obviously have loads of hidden debts and credit problems

I hope you remember this when you're writing your will

@Atalune

You don’t sound to bright.

You need independent legal advice.

It’s too.

You are 100% correct about the debt @GreyGardens88 ! Yes the will is in order. It's ok though because they have a baby now and use him as their bargaining tool.

Don't know if you realize but a bigger house means more utility and maintenance costs. Can you afford this? It's not just coughing up for the mortgage.

@doityourselfnow so they're back talking to you now?!

In your shoes I would be tempted to will my possessions to the grandchild(ren). Has your son always been so entitled, or is your DIL a strong influence there? Personally I have a brother who would be exactly like this and wouldn't need any input from an entitled partner to make his demands.

Nope @JuanNil they spoke to us for a while, got loads of stuff for the little one. Now it's all blown up again, neither working etc.

Yes the money will be skipping one generation.

@JuanNil I'm not blaming my DIL, my son is acting just as badly but yes she is the decision maker 100% of the time.

Just wanted to apologise to everyone for my post last night. I shouldn't have posted.

I don't think you owe us an apology for anything.

Hope you're okay OP

Things do look different in the sober light of day.

I do think you need to take a hard look at your marriage. Changes definitely need to be made. I'd start by seeing a solicitor about that trust deed and about what divorce might mean for you. You may be better off without him than you think.

@drunkmomandsad

Just wanted to apologise to everyone for my post last night. I shouldn't have posted.

Don't apologise. Hope you're OK.

Hope you're ok.

doityourselfnow On the one hand you're saying your ds is entitled and on the other hand you're saying "You've had three (or 4) children, then you provide for them!"

@Lookyloo

doityourselfnow On the one hand you're saying your ds is entitled and on the other hand you're saying "You've had three (or 4) children, then you provide for them!"

I assume that PP meant that OP should provide for them when they're children! Not when they're full grown adults perfectly capable of earning a living!

@Lookyloo
*
I assume that PP meant that OP should provide for them when they're children! Not when they're full grown adults perfectly capable of earning a living!*

Yes I was referring to the OP to provide for her 3 or 4 children.

And my DS does act dreadfully entitled!

doityourselfnow What have you provided for your children? Food and water and a roof?