Just sad....and drunk

[drunkmomandsad]

Mom to 4, currently home alone with 3 dc.
My family have just said no to helping us financially to move, this was our last option really. Just feel incredible sad and gutted

His business has been running for over 20 years
I think that is why he can't see any other way

You said you needed the 7 bedrooms.

I would be able to actually make a living without having to let DH make all the decisions

And then reason you can't do that now is...?

*Don’t have four Kids if you can’t afford them
*
Well the kids are here now. It’s a bit late in the day for coming out with that old chestnut. What do you suggest op does with these kids she can’t afford,? sell them for magic beans.

But it n MN, it isn't about offering helpful solutions, it's about sticking the boot in and feeling self-righteous. Posters like this don't care, they're just keyboard warriors.

You do need to count your lucky stars though op. There are families out there living in one room. I’d quite fancy a 7 bed roomed house but I’m afraid for now at least, I’m still whistling Dixie.
Sorry if you feel got at

Worst begging thread ever

Has has the equity in the house
I don't
I wouldn't need all of the rooms
Only when my m and d visit and my sibling
I can't travel and haven't for a while

If this is true, there's no way I would expect my parents to be guarantors for my mortgage. I think you were being CF to even ask them.

Who died and made your DH king?

If you can out-earn him, go fulltime and get wraparound childcare,

You really can't expect your parents to cough up while you only work part-time and he has a hobby business.

You are sad and drunk because you can’t afford a 7 bed house 🤣 wow! If it helps I can’t afford a 7 bed either 😆.

If you can afford the mortgage on a 7 bedroom house then surely you can afford to go full time and get wrap around care?

We all need a whinge at times, but this is ridiculous. Your life sounds tough, but a seven-bedroom house seems unlikely to fix the issues.

Hi, I know you're getting a rough ride, but I suggest you stop for a moment and switch to water and then tomorrow have a long think about your relationship with your DH at the moment. It sounds like things are less than ideal and that the issue with the mortgage is actually something of a red herring.

Then it may be worth namechanging and posting on somewhere like Relationships to get some insight.

Hope things work out for you.

Hi op, im sorry you are feeling sad im sure you are feeling very disappointed if you had pinned all your hopes on this dream house.although in all honesty i think its more the fact that you are unhappy in your marriage that is the problem here. Why wont dh let you work more hours? You seem resigned to the fact that you have to stay as you are. if you are unhappy about your situation only you can change it. If it were me i would rather be a single parent then unhappily married. When you sober up think about what you really want. I can't say i blame your parents for not wanting to risk their own home ect. You need to sit with your husband and both get on the same page. It sounds like you really resent him atm. Having a good life for kids doesnt mean having a 7 bedroom house its having happy parents and memories. Hope your are ok. Have a coffee and sober up so can think with a clear head.x

Why would moving give your DC a better life?

I'm sorry OP but from what you've written I think you need to give your head a wobble.

Wow self pity and massive sense of entitlement ! You sound like you have already got more in your life than many ...maybe write a gratitude list .

DH wants to be his own boss and not be under someone.

he has decided that this is more important than you having a bigger house.

Your parents have decided that their own financial security is more important than you having a bigger house.

Honestly, I think you are transferring onto your parents a lot of the resentment you have toward your dh. When you sober up/think some more about it, you may see things more clearly.

Growing up most families with 4 kids I knew (and I knew a lot) lived in three bedroom houses. they were all happy and successful.

Are you married? If so the equity is as much yours

You are clearly in an unhappy marriage but your parents are willing to support your DH -

Wow

I wouldn't go guarantor for anybody. That includes my own kids. If the bank requires a guarantor, that means they think you are a very poor risk. You're asking your parents to assume responsibility for your mortgage.

I'm very sorry that your DH doesn't want to change your lifestyles to enable you to facilitate the standard of living you think you ought to be able to enjoy. That is not your parents' problem. When you have your own kids, then it is time to realise it is your responsibility to provide for them. Not Mummy and Daddy. If you want everyone to have their own bedroom, you pay for all the damned bedrooms.

No I would not be a guarantor either . It’s a very big risk .

If your husband I happy running his own business then let him .

Money and a big house isn’t everything .

And yes, when I say your life seems tough, I mean you should probably have a chat with your husband when you sober up. Simply 'following' him is no life. But materially? You do seem entitled.

Be thankful you have kids! Some can't have any,
I can't even afford a bedsit so I'm stuck in an abusive relationship.
Jeez, be thankful! Sober up and get a better job

Why do adults who are adult enough to create children, expect their parents to help in any way?

I would cut out the daytime drinking. It’ll help your anxiety and depression and save you money.
Get a good nights sleep and come up with a plan that you and DH can work towards to ensure your family live well. It might well be that you don’t need a new house, just a new way of thinking.