Which person is being unreasonable here?

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Person A and B friends for many years, socialised together frequently and lived very close to each other.

Person A has children
Person B lives alone

Both A and B moved houses, now about 7 miles apart - rural, lack of taxis/public transport so socialising has declined over time. All socialising is usually B’s suggestions of activities or at B’s house with A having to make their own way home. B has only visited A once in a year at their new home.

A & B stayed in touch over lockdown via video calls and texts, but didn’t meet up and this also declined over time from both sides.

B gets in touch with A and complains about lack of contact, A apologises and explains has been busy with working and DC. B invites A to go on a shopping trip that day but A is busy.

A month goes by

Person A tells B and other friends on group text that they would like to have a party for their birthday and a date is discussed and all invited to A’s house. A & B also FaceTime briefly the week before and party is mentioned and invite given again. B says they are free that evening.

A gets a happy birthday text message from B but no card or attempt to visit.

Party evening arrives a week later which A has set up a garden party area. Person A posts a photo of the party area to social media, and B sends a text asking about the party and why they are not invited.

A explains they invited B twice to the party which B says was not clear. A asks B again to attend the party but B says they aren’t going to come as it is now too late (8pm).

A is hurt that B made no effort on their birthday
B is annoyed with A for not being clear, being busy and not contacting them enough

Who is BU?

Did C come to the party?

Sounds like B feels excluded but is possibly being over sensitive and worrying a good played invitation to show he's lived.

Tell C that B doesn't think she was invited and ask her to speak to her?

I think it depends how clear A was on the invite?

Who on earth is C?! I think both are unreasonable for flogging a dead horse - if you can't be bothered to video call, then maybe things have just moved on - not the end of the world, just how things are.

@SleepingStandingUp

Did C come to the party?

Sounds like B feels excluded but is possibly being over sensitive and worrying a good played invitation to show he's lived.

Tell C that B doesn't think she was invited and ask her to speak to her?

Who is C?

But yeah, what exactly was said in the group chat and did everyone else in there understand your invite?

A need to boot B and find a better F as current F, that is B, is selfish and only thinks of I and not F, that is A.

Clear?

@SleepingStandingUp

Did C come to the party?

Sounds like B feels excluded but is possibly being over sensitive and worrying a good played invitation to show he's lived.

Tell C that B doesn't think she was invited and ask her to speak to her?

Who is C??

A

@MonkeyToesOfDoom

A need to boot B and find a better F as current F, that is B, is selfish and only thinks of I and not F, that is A.

Clear?

There is no I in team?

Hmm I’m going to suggest that it appears A doesn’t make much of an effort generally and a lot of the contact is instigated by B and things organised and arranged by B.

B is annoyed.

The party is just a red herring.

But that’s just my interpretation of the post.

No prizes for guessing you’re A Op!

Either A wasn’t clear about the details of party or B is being a dick and didn’t want to come but didn’t want to be grown up enough to say so.

Which one are you? B is being daft, she knew she was invited.

Person A tells B and other friends on group text that they would like to have a party for their birthday and a date is discussed and all invited to A’s house.
I read as other friend singular, so C. Point is did the other people invited this way come?

I hate all this A/B stuff. especially as it's usually very obvious which one op is or who's side they are on (A).

I think both need to grow up a bit and realise that they are not the centre of the others universe.

Did D come to the party?

A maybe for not bothering to arrange anything with B until they wanted their birthday celebrating?

Sounds messier than that though given the reference to B never going to A's house and A having up make their own way home. But it's B that always suggests the get togethers in the first place...

Has this friendship run its course?

So B denies being invited at all?

If A mentioned it twice to B and B didn't think it was clear why didn't B ask if they weren't sure?

B is unreasonable. A needs to not pander to them.

Which one are you? B is being daft, she knew she was invited.

Maybe but if the OP is A (which lets be honest is how it reads) then her take on the series of events will be biassed. I would like to hear B's version

B ibu

@SleepingStandingUp has a hood point - info one else was confused as to whether or not they were invited that gives an idea of how clear it was... but found like B wanted a proper invite and not just a group thing. So it's not really the main issue.

Good not hood

B knew fine well about the party but as weren't the host and would have to travel played the oh I wasn't invited card.
I used to have a friend that would not acknowledge the road went both ways..

Are you both being a bit emotional? Maybe agree to disagree invite wasn’t clear and continue your friendship? Is this worth falling out over?

Everyone is being reasonable but this friendship has run its course , life really is too short to bother with this type of aggravation friends are supposed to enhance your life not make it worse .

I think A and B have drifted apart and now at different phases of life. Th st May come back together in time, but need to accept it and move on for now