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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

8yo's to be unaccompanied at swimming lessons?

146 replies

Xuli · 26/07/2020 11:32

Our local pool is starting lessons in a week's time but has said all 8+ kids must be dropped at the door to the centre and then collected afterwards. Apparently the changing rooms might be open, might not. The messages online aren't entirely clear. But the jist of it is that 8+ are expected to be unaccompanied, get themselves changed before (not really an issue as they can wear their suit under their clothes) and after, possibly without changing rooms, in a pool that will have 50+ kids for lessons and public swimming at the same time. No mention of any extra staff, only staff around would presumably be actively involved in teaching lessons so couldn't help the kids.

I'm not normally an upright parent but AIBU to think this isn't a good idea? Some 8yos are still very young and won't have done anything like this on their own. Plus everyone's teaching kids about privacy and safety and then expecting them to potentially get changed at the poolside? No one to help if they get stuck or upset, if older kids are being annoying, let alone the safeguarding issues here.

My 8yo is pretty sensible and mature but even I can see issues for her. I don't care not being there for the lesson, but the changing seems hard.

I know I'm not alone amongst other mums here not being keen on this. AIBU, would you be happy with this?

OP posts:
AriettyHomily · 26/07/2020 11:42

If it's open to the public at the same time no I wouldn't be happy. My 8yos are perfectly capable of the changing part but I wouldn't want them in the mixed sex 'changing village' unaccompanied.

If it's just swim school kids then yes I would be ok with it.

WombatStewForTea · 26/07/2020 11:43

If it's open to the public at the same time I'd be swimming myself then getting out at the same time

BogRollBOGOF · 26/07/2020 11:44

YANBU
At his 8th birthday DS1 didn't have his dyspraxia and ASD diagnoses and while depending on the pool set up and the child, some combinations are not suitable for all 8yos to reliably manage themselves.

After getting diagnosis shortly before his 9th birthday we "now" use a disabled changing area as when DS is tired at that end of the day, he still needs hands on support.

DS2 is NT but at 7, he's very wrapped upin his own imagination and would miss the lesson from sitting in a cubical playing with his goggles and pretending it's a pokemon battle. I can't see him maturing that much in the next 6 months...

Our pool is in a large council leisure centre so plenty of opportunity for a ditzy child with no sense of urgency to go astray.

Fredocorleone · 26/07/2020 11:46

My pool is saying it’s poolside teaching only for everyone including preschoolers and beginners. I’m trying to decide what to do as I’m not comfortable about my 4 year old being in the water unaccompanied. I’ve been told this will be a requirement set by Swim England until a vaccine is in place.....

Similarly her gymnastics are saying a similar thing - drop off at the door and wait in the car and then collect from the fire exit at the end of the lesson. Again, this class is aimed at 3-5 year olds.

There seems to be an insane lack of basic safeguarding in a bid to be Covid-secure.

MamaGothel · 26/07/2020 11:46

Not a chance would I allow that

Baconking · 26/07/2020 11:47

Are you sure public swimming is open?

Our pool is closed to the public during lessons for the foreseeable

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 26/07/2020 11:48

My 8 year oldnis v anxious that we will have to do this for gymnastics.

There is no way I'd do this for swimming. Can you cancel and rejoin in the future

isabellerossignol · 26/07/2020 11:49

My pool is saying it’s poolside teaching only for everyone including preschoolers and beginners. I’m trying to decide what to do as I’m not comfortable about my 4 year old being in the water unaccompanied.

Is that not how swimming lessons are? My kids lessons were always done with the teacher at the side of the pool.

Infullbloom · 26/07/2020 11:50

Not really getting the issue, 8 is the age boys have to go into the mens to change without their mums, don't see how this is any different really. If it's not open to the public then there'll be no random adults milling about, if it is then just go for a swim yourself.

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 26/07/2020 11:50

Good ones arent for beginners - they have the teacher in with them.

isabellerossignol · 26/07/2020 11:50

But I wouldn't be happy about sending 8 year olds in to get changed if the pool was open to the public.

BalanchineBallet · 26/07/2020 11:51

My daughter is 6 (7 in a couple of months) and is quite capable of this.... it might be a bit slower, but given our plan is to go with costume on under a dress and sandals/tracksuit and trainers, whip it outside clothes off and straight into pool, then simply take costume off and put clothes on I don’t see a problem.

Most 8 year olds I know are totally capable of dressing themselves? I would imagine children with SEN would be allowed appropriate support anyway.

Codexdivinchi · 26/07/2020 11:52

I was a swimming teacher for many years and this is bonkers.

GetUpAgain · 26/07/2020 11:52

Depends so much on the set up. If kids go to poolside in swimmers, towel poncho and sliders, then come out to a waiting parent and warm car, no problem. If you are expecting them to get showered, dry, into clothes to get walk/bus home i can see that would be trickier.

BalanchineBallet · 26/07/2020 11:52

Though yes, I wouldn’t let her do it unsupervised if there were public swimmers as well. Ours is separated out.

Cacacoisfarraige · 26/07/2020 11:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 26/07/2020 11:52

Its not just the getting changed though is it? I sometimes used to send my eldest into the changing area if I had my little one, but Id still be there to sort the swim hat out and watch them swim, meet them as they come out etc.

Going into a building on your own to navigate it all would have been too much for either of my children.

Cacacoisfarraige · 26/07/2020 11:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 26/07/2020 11:54

Im kind of glad mine arent in the swimmimg club anymore. Even at 10 she liked to know i was there! (Admittedly not NT.)

Cacacoisfarraige · 26/07/2020 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

itsgettingweird · 26/07/2020 11:55

Pools aren't open to public and lessons at same time.

Pools are suggesting towelling robe and going home in swim wear.

And if an 8to cannot dress themselves then surely they have SN and parents can request reasonable adjustments. Otherwise I don't buy the argument they may he we never done it - so cant.

They change for PE at school from 4yo!

Allgirlskidsanddogs · 26/07/2020 11:56

It depends how you organise them. Ready to go with swimmers on underneath a towelling pool cover then YABU, fully clothed and needing to dry and redress afterwards YANBU. However if the pool is open to other swimmers then go swimming at the same time.

In your situation I would send in in a towelling pool cover to put back on over wet swimmers, take them home and shower and change once home.

Hmmph · 26/07/2020 11:56

8 year old boys have always had to go and get changed by themselves (except where there are family facilities)

Codexdivinchi · 26/07/2020 11:58

This is bonkers as you will get

Kids forgetting things and parents wanting to go in to changing room to look for it

Kids pissing about in the changing rooms after getting out

Kids running about the changing room and slipping

A parent saying there kid is SN and needs extra help

Now if that changing room has been turned in to a ‘changing village’ eg.. mixed sex. Hell would free over before parents would send there daughters in to get dressed in front of young and older males.

Children are going to be in a vulnerable state of undress, they do need appropriate adults to safe guard.

Original poster
Xuli · 26/07/2020 11:58

The website timetable suggests it's open at the same time to the public, as it usually is during lessons, though waiting for answers on this one.

Maybe they have a lovely plan to keep all the kids together but not mention of it, so they could have saved themselves some hassle from all the parents I know are emailing at the moment!

DD can definitely get dressed, though it might be the longest wait ever for me as she talks to everyone else...

I could sometimes swim at the same time but not always, as I have another LO to look after at the same time and they absolutely hate swimming.

Throwing a dressing gown on and coming outside is fine as long as it's warm, not so good when it's not - we don't drive there as it's only 5 mins from the house (and there's never any parking anyway)

OP posts: