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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

8yo's to be unaccompanied at swimming lessons?

146 replies

Xuli · 26/07/2020 11:32

Our local pool is starting lessons in a week's time but has said all 8+ kids must be dropped at the door to the centre and then collected afterwards. Apparently the changing rooms might be open, might not. The messages online aren't entirely clear. But the jist of it is that 8+ are expected to be unaccompanied, get themselves changed before (not really an issue as they can wear their suit under their clothes) and after, possibly without changing rooms, in a pool that will have 50+ kids for lessons and public swimming at the same time. No mention of any extra staff, only staff around would presumably be actively involved in teaching lessons so couldn't help the kids.

I'm not normally an upright parent but AIBU to think this isn't a good idea? Some 8yos are still very young and won't have done anything like this on their own. Plus everyone's teaching kids about privacy and safety and then expecting them to potentially get changed at the poolside? No one to help if they get stuck or upset, if older kids are being annoying, let alone the safeguarding issues here.

My 8yo is pretty sensible and mature but even I can see issues for her. I don't care not being there for the lesson, but the changing seems hard.

I know I'm not alone amongst other mums here not being keen on this. AIBU, would you be happy with this?

OP posts:
Lipz · 26/07/2020 11:58

The changing rooms may not be open? So do they change pool side? That'd be a no for me, actually I don't think anyone in their right mind would allow their child to strip off pool side. I wouldn't do it myself.

All kids are different with different capabilities, some of mine would have been fine ( dressing room open). Some wouldn't. So I'd base my decision on what's available and how the child would manage.

Waveysnail · 26/07/2020 11:58

I would get them to dry off best they can and sling on tracksuit after without chnaging out of swimsuit.

Commentutappelles · 26/07/2020 11:59

@itsgettingweird

Pools aren't open to public and lessons at same time.

Pools are suggesting towelling robe and going home in swim wear.

And if an 8to cannot dress themselves then surely they have SN and parents can request reasonable adjustments. Otherwise I don't buy the argument they may he we never done it - so cant.

They change for PE at school from 4yo!

Totally agree!!
Freddiefox · 26/07/2020 12:02

There’s loads of threads on here telling mum’s of boys to suck it up when their children turn 8 and they have to go in the men’s to change. Why is this any different to that?

Original poster
Xuli · 26/07/2020 12:02

@Codexdivinchi

This is bonkers as you will get

Kids forgetting things and parents wanting to go in to changing room to look for it

Kids pissing about in the changing rooms after getting out

Kids running about the changing room and slipping

A parent saying there kid is SN and needs extra help

Now if that changing room has been turned in to a ‘changing village’ eg.. mixed sex. Hell would free over before parents would send there daughters in to get dressed in front of young and older males.

Children are going to be in a vulnerable state of undress, they do need appropriate adults to safe guard.

Exactly that. I mean, there's a tiny part of me that thinks, great, it's advertised all over their public website that all kids over 8 are unaccompanied at swimming lessons, that's not a safeguarding risk or anything. And it's only got the mixed family changing rooms. But I know that's TEENY risk.

I'm more worried about rare teenagers pissing around and teasing the younger ones!

The website very much at the moment says open to lane swimming 7am - 8pm. Our pool has always been half lessons, half public swimming.

They only need one or two bits more information for me to be comfortable with it but it isn't there yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
Xuli · 26/07/2020 12:04

@Freddiefox

There’s loads of threads on here telling mum’s of boys to suck it up when their children turn 8 and they have to go in the men’s to change. Why is this any different to that?
I suppose because then you're at least in the building. You're still there if they need anything, not being asked to wait in a queue in the car park.

I'm not worried about the dressing - yes, a NT 8+ is more than capable of that. It's more the other people, the possibility of getting lost or distracted, etc.

OP posts:
Fredocorleone · 26/07/2020 12:04

@isabellerossignol

My pool is saying it’s poolside teaching only for everyone including preschoolers and beginners. I’m trying to decide what to do as I’m not comfortable about my 4 year old being in the water unaccompanied.

Is that not how swimming lessons are? My kids lessons were always done with the teacher at the side of the pool.

Ours have always been in the water. It’s a private 15m pool and there’s usually just 2 kids and 1 teacher on one side of the pool and my daughter and her teacher on the other side.

The pool owner began by saying that parents would have to be in the water sat by the side with beginners in case they were needed as teachers wouldn’t be allowed in. Now she’s saying she doesn’t want that because she doesn’t want the parents to have to get changed etc.

thunderthighsohwoe · 26/07/2020 12:07

Why don’t you email/call the swim school and ask? They may well have plans to segregate off a changing area for the swim school kids, and have some arrangement where a poolside assistant or similar corrals them to where they need to be. If they don’t, then you might need to make a decision based on your child’s maturity level (am a primary teacher, and a lot of 8+ year olds I know would manage this no problem, but I can think of a few that could well be found aimlessly wandering the leisure centre!)

Greyrobe · 26/07/2020 12:09

Covid officer? Dear god.. Have you got a badge?

Original poster
Xuli · 26/07/2020 12:10

@thunderthighsohwoe

Why don’t you email/call the swim school and ask? They may well have plans to segregate off a changing area for the swim school kids, and have some arrangement where a poolside assistant or similar corrals them to where they need to be. If they don’t, then you might need to make a decision based on your child’s maturity level (am a primary teacher, and a lot of 8+ year olds I know would manage this no problem, but I can think of a few that could well be found aimlessly wandering the leisure centre!)
I am, I just wondered what other parents thought whole I'm waiting for a reply
OP posts:
howfarwevecome · 26/07/2020 12:12

Get your DD a towel dress/robe. Send her in in her swimsuit, flipflops and carrying the towel dress/robe. She goes straight to the pool. At the end of the lesson, she pops the towel dress/robe back on over her swimsuit and comes straight out. Shower at home.

It's not hard.

itsgettingweird · 26/07/2020 12:14

@Greyrobe

Covid officer? Dear god.. Have you got a badge?
Covid liaison is part of risk assessment to open.

It's basically someone poolside to support and ensure SD happens and remind swimmers of rules.

I'm am such a person for my ds swim club. Because he has a physical disability and may need support and I don't have to SD from him!

JudgeRindersMinder · 26/07/2020 12:14

@Greyrobe

Covid officer? Dear god.. Have you got a badge?
I wouldn’t be doing that without a clipboard too😂
Coldspringharbour · 26/07/2020 12:14

@Fredocorleone

My pool is saying it’s poolside teaching only for everyone including preschoolers and beginners. I’m trying to decide what to do as I’m not comfortable about my 4 year old being in the water unaccompanied. I’ve been told this will be a requirement set by Swim England until a vaccine is in place.....

Similarly her gymnastics are saying a similar thing - drop off at the door and wait in the car and then collect from the fire exit at the end of the lesson. Again, this class is aimed at 3-5 year olds.

There seems to be an insane lack of basic safeguarding in a bid to be Covid-secure.

That’s really worrying isn’t it. Safeguarding in general has gone down the pan with Covid. I certainly wouldn’t be happy leaving a three year for a lesson.

As for the little ones having to be alone in a changing room, it sounds like a paedophile’s Christmas come early. How do you know your kids will be safe.

I don’t have little ones anymore, but I’ve spent years working in safeguarding and it’s very concerning. I’m not sure what the answer is other than don’t send your kids to these lessons, which is unfair on them too.

Lipz · 26/07/2020 12:14

She's walking home, the child can't wear wet costume home

itsgettingweird · 26/07/2020 12:15

And if a child isn't yet ready to attend because they can't yet get themselves dressed (no SN) there isnt a rule saying it's compulsory.

Lockdownfatigue · 26/07/2020 12:17

My 7 year old showers and changes and comes to meet me in reception. However I have a child with asd who wouldn’t have been able to until much older and it will exclude children with disabilities or medical needs.

namechange30000 · 26/07/2020 12:18

@BogRollBOGOF my son is the exact same as yours. He's nearly 9 and still not maturing in that way yet.

My son just wouldn't be able to go in, get changed, put his stuff away, do his lesson, shower and get re ready and bring all his stuff out.

howfarwevecome · 26/07/2020 12:19

A lot of towel robes are made to be changed under. You can help her change quickly outside using one. My kids use them to get changed outside at their current outside water venue. It's summer. They're perfectly happy doing so.

Otherwise, consider postponing the return to swimming lessons until autumn?

Thesearmsofmine · 26/07/2020 12:20

I wouldn’t be happy with the getting changed without privacy, my dc would be uncomfortable changing in front of others, they like privacy and they can’t go home in their wet costume with a poncho or tracksuit on top because we walk(25 mins) or get the bus.

LizzieBennett70 · 26/07/2020 12:21

I'd send them with a towelling dressing gown, and take them home to get showered/dressed if you don't live far away. It's the best of a bad bunch of options really.

Yet more Covid enforced lunacy Hmm

queenofknives · 26/07/2020 12:21

Definitely no to that if the changing rooms are mixed sex. Maybe if the changing areas are segregrated with one or two same sex adults on hand to supervise/deal with issues. It doesn't sound like safeguarding issues have been thought through at all. Quite a lot for 8 yo's to have to negotiate by themselves, and what happens if something does go wrong - who is looking out for them?

CherryPavlova · 26/07/2020 12:21

Our local sports centre allowed children to swim without adults from eight. Why is it an issue unless the child has a disability?

GrumpyHoonMain · 26/07/2020 12:22

If it’s open to the public at the same time then just swim at the same time and you can all get changed together

itsgettingweird · 26/07/2020 12:22

Check all the RA for each place.

We have no changing rooms rule and kids are t entering and exiting through reception and changing rooms.

But individual circumstances mean some children will access changing rooms (use public transport for example)

But 2-3 kids using them is a far lower risk than all 30 we can have in the pool at once.