8yo's to be unaccompanied at swimming lessons?

[Xuli]

Our local pool is starting lessons in a week's time but has said all 8+ kids must be dropped at the door to the centre and then collected afterwards. Apparently the changing rooms might be open, might not. The messages online aren't entirely clear. But the jist of it is that 8+ are expected to be unaccompanied, get themselves changed before (not really an issue as they can wear their suit under their clothes) and after, possibly without changing rooms, in a pool that will have 50+ kids for lessons and public swimming at the same time. No mention of any extra staff, only staff around would presumably be actively involved in teaching lessons so couldn't help the kids.

I'm not normally an upright parent but AIBU to think this isn't a good idea? Some 8yos are still very young and won't have done anything like this on their own. Plus everyone's teaching kids about privacy and safety and then expecting them to potentially get changed at the poolside? No one to help if they get stuck or upset, if older kids are being annoying, let alone the safeguarding issues here.

My 8yo is pretty sensible and mature but even I can see issues for her. I don't care not being there for the lesson, but the changing seems hard.

I know I'm not alone amongst other mums here not being keen on this. AIBU, would you be happy with this?

If they keep the changing rooms closed, particularly in winter and autumn, that pretty much translates to 'we only want people with cars to attend' .

Plus, it was freezing here a week ago, there's no way DS could walk back without drying his hair especially as we're really not that close to the leisure centre, not that close to the bus stop and the bus really isn't that frequent.

So only able bodied children whose parents can afford cars should attend- next they'll be deploring that so many kids from poorer backgrounds can't swim and it'll obviously be the parents fault .

NB- this no longer actually applies to me or my son as I have access to a car

Get a towelling robe, child puts it somewhere safe, swims, puts towelling robe and flip flips back on, meets you at exit gets changed in the car (or a quick beach change outside while you hold a towel up)

DDs been back swim training a week at a local lido and doesn't get out until 10pm, yes it's chilly but I keep a flask with a warm drink in for after and she's fine. She gets in the car, wiggles into a fleccey onesie and comfy slipper socks and a swimzi fleece hat.

I wouldn't like to be made to throw a toweling poncho on over the top of my wet swimsuit and then spend 15 minutes in the car before getting home where I could towel off properly and change. Why is it acceptable to expect children to do this

In many pools this is exactly what adults are expected to do. Go beach ready.

Things are very different. Solutions in many situations will not suit everyone and we need to accept that it wont always be possible to accommodate everyones individual needs as it has been in the past.

If the arrangements dont suit you dont send your children.

@CheshireChat you are right. Unless they can make some kind of provision for the dc who don’t arrive by car to be able to get dried off properly and changed then a whole group of children are going to miss out on swimming lessons. Of course it is those from lower income families who will miss out, it always is.

If they keep the changing rooms closed, particularly in winter and autumn, that pretty much translates to 'we only want people with cars to attend'

I disagree. I dont have a car and my DD has attended swimming classes year round for years. The fact we dont have a car has never been an issue.

Plus, it was freezing here a week ago, there's no way DS could walk back without drying his hair especially as we're really not that close to the leisure centre, not that close to the bus stop and the bus really isn't that frequent.

Just get your child to wear a hat, that's what my DD does till we can get home when it is cold. Also, surely it takes seconds to towel dry your sons hair enough for the journey home?

Even before covid, in winter my DD would come out of the pool, quickly dry off and put on a onesie over her costume and come out to the waiting area where I would have her hat, scarf, warm coat and fluffy boots all of which kept her plenty warm enough for the just over half an hour it took us to get home -5 minute walk to the bus stop, 10 minute wait for the bus, 15 minute bus ride and 5 minute walk home. When she got home she would have a proper shower, wash her hair and get directly into PJs. She never suffered ill health from leaving the leisure centre with damp hair.

On days of really bad weather I order a taxi for convenience but as we are used to using public transport and walking everywhere I have invested in good quality weatherproof items so those days are rare.

Yabu. My kids were taught poolside with no parent watching ( apart from watching week) from the age of 3m

By 8 they were changing themselves and had school swimming lessons where they did this. Cossy underneath clothes, hat on ready. I really dobt think babying kids does them any favours
Obviously SN kids its different, but I still think most would manage it if only a onesie or something over their swimwear.

melj1213 DS has long hair- it takes longer than that with a hair dryer.

Also, before we lived about 15 minutes away from the pool, now I could easily double your times. Admittedly he's prone to colds/ ear infections so I'm extra careful, but he's hardly the only one.

@Cheshirecat at the risk of you DS looking plain daft (but don't we adults in our masks?), I recommend you either buy your DS a hair turban (we have a cheapo from Poundland and a posher one) and/or a ski winter wooly hat (so it is lined with fleece).

I suggest this as a mother of a child that is accustomed to walking to/from pools on icy winter mornings/evenings.

Codex I am a woman. I was a girl. I still don't agree. I still think nothing changes. A unisex space isnt safe because your parent is there. If a changing room is open (which no pool near me has this facility) anyone with less than pure intentions can still go in.
The same way they go to parks and beaches.

And I totally understand woman wanting safe spaces. More than I'd wish on anyone.

But the changing rooms at my pools do not present any risk. Neither at any pool I've ever been too.

@CheshireChat my point was that you made generalisations that people without access to changing rooms or cars will be effectively unable to access swimming lessons whereas my personal experience is an illustration of the fact that is not the case.

Yes it is going to have some effect on children whose parents dont have a car but nothing that some prior preparations cant mitigate.

My DD also has long hair and ENT issues and leaving her swimming lesson with slightly damp hair (which was tied up under a hat for the journey home) was never enough of an issue for me to stop letting her attend lessons, and that's even when we could have spent time drying it in the changing rooms if we chose to.

@pennylane83

I wouldn't like to be made to throw a toweling poncho on over the top of my wet swimsuit and then spend 15 minutes in the car before getting home where I could towel off properly and change. Why is it acceptable to expect children to do this? Its not like a day at the beach abroad where in the time it takes you to walk from the sea back to your spot on the beach you have pretty much dried off. Its the UK - wind, rain, grey skies, swimming pools and their changing rooms set to arctic temperatures whatever the time of year (or certainly all the ones we seem to end up in!)

Because in many pools this has to be part of the conditions of opening. Changing reins are a covid risk.

They are also saying the same to people attending guns and doing to classes. Who also probably would rather not travel home sweaty in gym clothes.

But a pandemic throws all normality out of the window.

Grow if anyone is looking for an easy solution I've ordered ds a poncho swim towel thing off of Amazon. It's by Osprey. It also has a water proof bit at the back on the legs to keep car seats dry.

Xuli I explained way above NASCAR's that this was guidelines of 30 max. But it was ignored and people carried on being angry at me for saying changing rooms wouldn't be full of public swimmers.

I have all the swim England guidance.

@CheshireChat

If they keep the changing rooms closed, particularly in winter and autumn, that pretty much translates to 'we only want people with cars to attend' .

Plus, it was freezing here a week ago, there's no way DS could walk back without drying his hair especially as we're really not that close to the leisure centre, not that close to the bus stop and the bus really isn't that frequent.

So only able bodied children whose parents can afford cars should attend- next they'll be deploring that so many kids from poorer backgrounds can't swim and it'll obviously be the parents fault .

NB- this no longer actually applies to me or my son as I have access to a car

Our club guidance is all kids with cars will attend under current Risk assessment. However we won't exclude kids who have to walk or use public transport. We will work with parents and those 1/2 kids per training session can access the changing room and the covid liaison officer will supervise.

Please contact your own provider to access a way for your child to attend lessons. IME most places really want to help.

Just in case it helps somebody with a child with long hair...

At the risk of sending DC into an almighty strop, get them to drop their head and then tie a ponytail at the highest point... twist the pony tail round and round and then curl it into a bun. Get them to hold the front of the swim hat on their forehead and hold it and then whish the rest of the hat over their head standing behind them with fingers stretched into the hat.

I concede this might take 3 or 4 goes at first and a bit of swearing!

Hopefully the timetable hasn't been updated and it will only be kids lessons in there.

We're lucky we're only a 5 minute walk home so we'll cope if damp, it's not the end of the world (and being uncomfortable one week will surely help DD learn to dry herself better next time!) but I really feel for people who have to walk further or use public transport once the weather gets bad.

Dh used to take dtds swimming age 6-7 and he took them in the men’s but it was weird with guys doing naked press-ups so dh decided to send them into the ladies to change. They did really well and always came out with their appropriate clothes etc. They’re 8 now and went swimming with school in January/February every week - the whole class sorted themselves out and were perfectly capable.

@itsgettingweird that's great, I'm not sure what our leisure centre is going to do, they haven't restarted any of the swimming lessons yet.

I remember reading that 1 in 3 leisure centres aren't going to reopen so I understand it's not easy, just that some willingness to work with people is necessary.

And obviously possible as some centres manage it.

Can you try any of these:

• find somewhere else? My son had 1:1 lessons at a house locally, the owner rents it out to a swim school, this was after having a terrible experience at a local pool in a group session (my poor son was terrified of water for months! wouldn't even have a bath)
• go for a swim yourself during the lesson if it's open to the public
• cancel lessons and wait until she starts swimming at school, my son starts Yr 3 in Sept and will start swimming lessons at school.

That would be a nope for me.

It would cause so much stress for my 7yo.

She's NT but there's so much faff. Lockers, wet stuff to remember. Hat, goggles, door locks, toilets that are a pain to get into/out of. (Door is so heavy she can't push it)

Nope if our pool does the same I will cancel the lessons.

Check your pool policy.

Check if under 8's can be in return list.

Pools accept swimmers over 8 with no adult and so the guidance matches this.

But under 8's must be accompanied. So guidance will be different and each pool will make their decision based on their own circumstances.