8yo's to be unaccompanied at swimming lessons?

[Xuli]

Our local pool is starting lessons in a week's time but has said all 8+ kids must be dropped at the door to the centre and then collected afterwards. Apparently the changing rooms might be open, might not. The messages online aren't entirely clear. But the jist of it is that 8+ are expected to be unaccompanied, get themselves changed before (not really an issue as they can wear their suit under their clothes) and after, possibly without changing rooms, in a pool that will have 50+ kids for lessons and public swimming at the same time. No mention of any extra staff, only staff around would presumably be actively involved in teaching lessons so couldn't help the kids.

I'm not normally an upright parent but AIBU to think this isn't a good idea? Some 8yos are still very young and won't have done anything like this on their own. Plus everyone's teaching kids about privacy and safety and then expecting them to potentially get changed at the poolside? No one to help if they get stuck or upset, if older kids are being annoying, let alone the safeguarding issues here.

My 8yo is pretty sensible and mature but even I can see issues for her. I don't care not being there for the lesson, but the changing seems hard.

I know I'm not alone amongst other mums here not being keen on this. AIBU, would you be happy with this?

Our swim club never allows parents in changing rooms- my dc is 7...
I think when we return I'll suggest rather than me loitering outside with younger dc a quick rub dry and onsie on top will do for now....
My dc swims 3 times a week!!!!!

Ridiculous to say that 8yo needs help getting changed, unless they have SN.

The rest of your concerns are very valid. I wouldn't be happy with this.

Just give them a dressing gown or hoodie towel and ask them to come straight out to you and let them get dressed in the car / at home.

No, not ideal but what is these days. That's what I would do. At least they're back swimming again.

That sounds weird. Is it a v small school pool type place or public? At our swimming pool I’ve been told a parent HAS to observe and be responsible for the child during the swimming lesson. I thought I might go for a few laps myself but have been told it’s not allowed. I would never drop at the door , she would most likely get lost -so many different doors and corridors in the place.

I haven't booked my son in for swimming lessons this term as there's no way to do it safely. Our changing rooms are open and parents can accompany them but I'm high risk and there's no way my autistic possibly also with ADHD child is going in by himself. He'd be off down the waterslide clothes and all given half a chance.

It’s not ideal if your 8 year old isn’t comfortable with it and / or you aren’t

But it’s an odd time for all and we are all having to adjust, adapt or miss out (hopefully just in the short term the latter)

And it would seem that in this occasion you have to accept the adjustment or miss out.

God no if the pool is open to public swimmers. So many news pieces on voyerisum even in my local pool. It would be become public knowledge and a hotbed for pervs.

Covid doesn't warrant putting my child in a potentially dangerous situation. People who think paedophiles wouldnt take advantage are delusional . They share info and I would worry word would get out this was a easy target

What are you doing about toilets if no changing rooms?

There are some individual toilet cubicles that can be used. With no changing to take into consideration, I'd imagine most people could be out and back to a swimming lesson within an hour, so will probably just make sure their children go to the toilet before they leave home.

The children still have to walk through the changing room (there is a one way system in place) to get to the swimming pool (this also means they shower before getting in the pool). They just can't use the changing cubicles.

@runbummyrun

Covid Officer

I've heard it all now.

I'll be teaching my own kid to swim thanks, ridiculous.

Every workplace and public place will have similar. Usually it's health and safety officer. The person who risk assesses.

Your child's school will have one. But I'm sure as you think it's ridiculous they could step down from this extra duty and allow the risks to go un checked - as all parents would live to home school for longer.

What ridiculous is mocking what you don't understand.

@itsgettingweird

My local pool just has cubicles. All in same area. Used by all sexes and genders.

And lifeguards will still be around now.

So again what is different from normal set up?

Just because some parents think something is a safeguarding risk it doesn't make it one.

If it was believed to be a huge risk to over 8's then it wouldn't happen day in and day out pre covid.

Our largest site is unisex. Nearly all the cubicles are taken by adults for privacy, children end up on the benches. We have four classes running at once with up to 12 kids in. So when the classes end - up to 48 children flood in to the changing room. Add in the public swimmers at peak time ( male and female) so thats another 15-20 people getting changed. It’s chaos on a normal day.

The life guards will only go in to the changing rooms when they are rostered to clean them. They are not there for supervision.

I know it’s a safeguarding risk because I had to do safeguarding CPD for the ten years I taught swimming. This is why I’m at the pools request.

This practice doesn’t happen day in day out pre COVID. School swimmers come with teachers to chaperone them and believe it or not regardless of what MN say not many 8 year olds come swimming on their own, there is usually an adult that has come with them.

A female child should not have to undress in front of a man.

@Legoandloldolls

God no if the pool is open to public swimmers. So many news pieces on voyerisum even in my local pool. It would be become public knowledge and a hotbed for pervs.

Covid doesn't warrant putting my child in a potentially dangerous situation. People who think paedophiles wouldnt take advantage are delusional . They share info and I would worry word would get out this was a easy target

It 8yo could swim alone before covid.

And they did.

What's different now?

DS always had to change on his own for swimming lessons from 7 if I was with him because he had to use the men’s changing area. By the time he was 8 he’d joined a swim team and was just getting on with it.

You can easily manage it (however anxious you are) by getting them into their swimwear at home and putting a onesie over the top. They don’t even need to get changed afterwards: they can give themselves a bit of a dry (quickly), stick the onesie back on and you can shower them at home. That’s pretty much the procedure suggested by swim England for these Covid-y times (with the suggestion of showering at home first too). They’d be in and out extremely quickly.

A female child doesn't have to undress in front of a male.

They can use a changing room.

Ours don't have benches and if everything is busy we wait.

It won't be too busy though as the average 25m pool will have max 30 people at one time. It's part of the rules.

There's no denying there are some unsavoury characters about.
They aren't just at swimming pools.

But children over 8 have been able and have been going to a pool and into the changing facilities unsupervised for as long as I can remember.

This isn't a new thing.

This practice doesn’t happen day in day out pre COVID. School swimmers come with teachers to chaperone them and believe it or not regardless of what MN say not many 8 year olds come swimming on their own, there is usually an adult that has come with them.

My son is a competitive swimmer. Children can compete from 9. No parent is allowed to accompany children into the changing rooms.

My experience of this is it's normal. Just because something is different to what someone is use to doesn't make it a stupid idea.

Any parent who doesn't want their child to go in alone is more than welcome not to send them to swimming lessons or a club 🤷‍♀️

Teachers may chaperone children but they don't usually help them get changed. They will do a trawl of the changing rooms after to pick up all the left items but they don't go into the changing rooms whilst the children are changing.

I am sure most pools are limiting numbers who can be in at the same time, so I assume they might not be open to the public at the same time as lessons.

I asked my DS who works as a life guard, when they have swimming lessons there is always an extra life guard specifically for the earlier stage swimming lessons (beginners/any needing arm bands level) and then the pool life guards as normal so 3 life guards plus the swimming teacher for a group of 10 or so children in the arm bands/beginners groups and 2 LGs plus the teacher for the others. He says your pool should have/will most likely have similar.

My 7 year old could manage to get changed on her own no problem. My 10 year old couldn't. It depends on the child.

Could you imagine the amount of lost property there will be if there's no parents to supervise changing? I'd need to buy new goggles every week!

I completed the questionnaire when our swimming lessons sent it out - they were on about bumping kids back down groups as well - which, considering we'd just got DD2 moved up out of beginners after a year and a half (she struggled desperately with her dyspraxia and was getting so demoralised never moving up groups) would have absolutely been the end of her engagement (and she needs to learn to swim given both grandparents live beside water).

If, when they reopen, it's that level (DD2 also has poor coordination and organisation and wouldn't cope with getting changed out of wet clothing unaided) of ridiculousness - I can't see us continuing in the medium term.

I've worked out part of what's irritating me about this one.

I just feel so SORRY for the kids around 8 and 9 here. They've had no school, no grandparents, no playdates, they've had really shit times some of them - my DD has been at home alone while I'm trying to work around her - and then when something normal finally opens its all such a ball ache. She's barely done a thing without me for 4 months because it hasn't been possible. Hopefully she'll love it and won't bat an eyelid but some kids won't cope, suddenly back at a busy lesson somewhere they haven't been for months and suddenly on their own with no building up or practice, no adults around to help, it could be so overwhelming. These poor kids at the moment.

But yes, I'll be investing in a good onesie and hoping for no chaffing on the scoot home

@isabellerossignol

My childrens' swimming club has Covid officers as well. I think it was a condition they had to meet to be allowed to restart.

It's probably the club welfare officer (which has been a requirement for ages in all children's sports clubs) with a different title to tick the box.

How’s is any different to school swimming lessons?

@itsgettingweird

This practice doesn’t happen day in day out pre COVID. School swimmers come with teachers to chaperone them and believe it or not regardless of what MN say not many 8 year olds come swimming on their own, there is usually an adult that has come with them.

My son is a competitive swimmer. Children can compete from 9. No parent is allowed to accompany children into the changing rooms.

My experience of this is it's normal. Just because something is different to what someone is use to doesn't make it a stupid idea.

Any parent who doesn't want their child to go in alone is more than welcome not to send them to swimming lessons or a club 🤷‍♀️

I’ve officiated at (less formal) galas for children much younger than 9.

You can compete properly from 9 but there are plenty of local club galas or intra-club dolphins galas featuring 6 year olds going on. Or even level 4 ‘have a go’ type things where the youngest children are 8.

There are never any parents in the changing rooms and it all goes fine. Worst case scenario is usually soggy tracksuit bottoms because they just pull them on over their wet jammers on poolside (the 11 and 12 year olds are just as bad for this tbh).

I think on MN people just love to get hysterical about children changing for swimming. But in real life it just doesn’t seem to be the issue that it’s made out to be on here. (The same can be said about loads of common thread topics - people just aren’t as weird as you’d think they are from reading MN).

It's probably the club welfare officer (which has been a requirement for ages in all children's sports clubs) with a different title to tick the box.

In our case I don't think it is. They emailed and asked for volunteers for this specific role, to work alongside the other volunteer roles. But obviously other clubs may have just amalgamated it into another role.

@itsgettingweird

A female child doesn't have to undress in front of a male.

They can use a changing room.

Ours don't have benches and if everything is busy we wait.

It won't be too busy though as the average 25m pool will have max 30 people at one time. It's part of the rules.

There's no denying there are some unsavoury characters about.
They aren't just at swimming pools.

But children over 8 have been able and have been going to a pool and into the changing facilities unsupervised for as long as I can remember.

This isn't a new thing.

The changing rooms are mixed sex have you just ignore what I’ve just said to you. Mixed sex mean AND women get changed together.

You’ve also just said we wait for a empty cubical. So you’ve obviously been with your child whilst waiting only this time - no parents are allowed in.

25 x 10 metre pool can hold about 70 people. Our largest site was a L shape ( 25x10, 10x10m) another site has three pools, another site has two ect..

Please read the thread this is about a unisex changing room. I’ve never been a big fan of them and I even worked there. Parents still feel uncomfortable when dressing their girls in front of showering men. It’s natural to feel like that. And it is a safeguarding risk to have young girls in a state of undress whilst unaccompanied by an adult. It’s really odd you don’t understand that. Maybe you have boys and don’t feel that vulnerability. You do know why there was segregated spaces in the first place don’t you? It was to protect the females, unisex changing rooms and toilets are slowly whittling that away to the point posters laugh and mock when parents feel concern about there daughters safety

Agree extremely our inter club galas have children as young as 5/6. Some really are that good to start younger squads at the age.

It's surprising how they cope. Just ole they manage to change at school for PE. Or hang their own bag up. Get their own lunch box.

Kids (including my own in this ) have an amazing ability to deskill themselves when a willing parent is around!