To feel sad that no one has ever been really in love with me

[SnakesOrLadders]

I’m late 30’s.
Had a few non serious boyfriends I was usually chasing them not the other way around.
My husband I met at 20 and he loves me but I had to give him an ultimatum to propose after we’d been together for several years. We are like brother and sister now we get along great but no romance none at all.
I’ve never ever had any romance and never will now.
I feel sad I’ve never experienced someone being completely in love with me or needing me in my life.

@TWAMSWIAO, I wouldn’t necessarily view everything through the lens of what you term a ‘misty-eyed’ wedding, though. I adore my now husband but had no interest in marrying. Eventually we had to marry for legal reasons and even though we did it very quietly with two witnesses, no rings, no photos etc it made me grumpy. It had/has no bearing on my love for and commitment to him, though.

In my past relationships I probably had more intense romance but they didn't last. I had also in the past a relationship where they 'really' did love me and need me, It was smothering and over the top to the point I left.

Now I've been in my marriage for 15 yrs, yes of course he loves me, the romance is never huge, he doesn't depend on me or need me as such he just loves me and hes just there. I'd would rather have this and the relationship last for ever rather than what you describe your missing out on.

I have had numerous relationships in my past before meeting my now DH and of those I would say three of them (over the course of 11 years) had involved feelings of being desperately in love with each other and the relationship being a total whirl of excitement and infatuation etc etc

However, all those relationships ended.

I’ve been with my now DH for 10 years and do I think he’s desperately in love with me like previous partners have been? No I don’t, but I know he loves me.

He’s the most amazing man, I trust him implicitly, he’s kind, he’s caring, he’s the most un-selfish man I have ever met and I know he would do anything for me.

He’s also the most amazing father to our two children. He puts us all first, always.

He has never, ever hurt me (as in emotionally) in ways that my previous boyfriends have.

Would I swap what I have with my husband to be with someone who is madly in love with and infatuated with me? Absolutely not.

I do understand why you feel the way you do, but love comes in many, many forms. I imagine there are a lot of people who feel like you do and feel like they have missed out. Admittedly it is exciting to feel desperately wanted and needed, but it isn’t the be all and end all.

However, nobody here is dismissing the way you feel and your emotions are completely valid.

At the crux of it, if you are unhappy in your marriage then you are well within your rights. Everyone deserves to be happy

It's not a clear cut choice of "intense, crazy, infatuation type love" v "minimal love or emotional attachment" like some posters are claiming. These are two extremes, and a healthy relationship is somewhere in the middle.

A relationship should have a basic grounding of love, affection and respect. Of course it's all more exciting and intense in the early days, but as things settle down there should still be a strong emotional connection. You should know for sure that you love your partner and that they love you.

Nobody has to settle for a relationship where their emotional needs are not being met, or convince themselves that a loveless relationship is normal.