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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that MN has become unspeakably horrible lately

136 replies

wanderings · 26/07/2020 08:52

Yes, I know there's a pandemic on, don't we all. But in the last week or two, Mumsnet has become truly vile, it feels worse that it was at the start of lockdown. There have been threads where people have really piled on the OP, where really vile comments were allowed to stand for a long time. People have started so many "holier than thou" threads which look as if they want a bunfight. Don't tell me it's "robust debate": there has been a lot of blatant cruelty going on, with people kicking the OP when she is down.

And perhaps also it should change its name from "Mumsnet" to "Masknet". Every other thread is about the bloody masks. It's bad enough having the reality of them, without having to talk about them all the time. Could they be quarantined in the Coronavirus topic where they belong?

Mumsnet used to be a place to come to for escapism, and light reading; it makes you long for the threads about loo brushes and shoes off in the house. There's also been a real drought of fun threads, such as nostalgia ones. I've tried starting some of my own in the last couple of weeks, which have only had a few replies.

I would have ended this with "flame away", but that would make it look as if I was looking for a bunfight.

OP posts:
bottlenose301 · 27/07/2020 20:06

I think Mumsnet (well mainly AIBU) is quite removed from real life and not how anyone would ever speak to a friend/or even stranger if face to face.

Someone1987 · 27/07/2020 20:08

I totally agree. I posted a thread on AIBU and it ended up being taken done. The kind people are so kind but the nasty ones are just that and as my thread was deleted I'm no closer to solving my problem!

IKEA888 · 27/07/2020 20:09

yes I posted about a ferry journey is had and people attacked me for questioning something.
V odd responses.
I'm sure a lot of posters are here just to be cantankerous

Monkeynuts18 · 27/07/2020 20:24

Yeah I agree. If you look at older threads posters tend to be cleverer and wittier too!

There was a thread on here a few weeks ago from a poster who was very clearly suffering from post-natal depression, exacerbated by lockdown. The viciousness of some posters responding was extraordinary - people called her a drama llama and said she made them want to vomit, said her baby was six months old so she hadn’t ‘just’ had a baby and said she should get a grip. It was like the DM comments section.

I think part of it is that many more men and non-parents are on Mumsnet now. That’s not a problem in itself but it does mean it’s a less supportive place for actual parenting advice.

MozzchopsThirty · 27/07/2020 20:40

I find it tiresome

I've just commented on another thread where the first reply to OP was such a twatty thing to say
It's draining

I spend most of my time on MN 🙄🙄🙄 and very little else

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 27/07/2020 21:03

That was exaggerated by some posters

No, it really wasnt. I saw it with my own eyes, "literally sobbing and shaking" because someone bought a curly wurly. Someone else had a complete meltdown because someone in Italy had the gall to order children's colouring pens from amazon, another person bragged they hadn't shopped in 6 weeks because they "care about people dying". It was utterly ridiculous and I havent seen such a hysterical reaction anywhere outside of the internet.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 27/07/2020 21:07

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

That was exaggerated by some posters

No, it really wasnt. I saw it with my own eyes, "literally sobbing and shaking" because someone bought a curly wurly. Someone else had a complete meltdown because someone in Italy had the gall to order children's colouring pens from amazon, another person bragged they hadn't shopped in 6 weeks because they "care about people dying". It was utterly ridiculous and I havent seen such a hysterical reaction anywhere outside of the internet.

😱 I saw the one where it was misinterpreted, these are jaw dropping
AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 28/07/2020 07:42

I saw the one where it was misinterpreted, these are jaw dropping

Sure, but there were loads of other hysterical ones that definitely were not misinterpreted. It was ridiculous. There were multiple threads.

GinDaddyRedux · 28/07/2020 07:57

@Monkeynuts18

Yeah I agree. If you look at older threads posters tend to be cleverer and wittier too!

There was a thread on here a few weeks ago from a poster who was very clearly suffering from post-natal depression, exacerbated by lockdown. The viciousness of some posters responding was extraordinary - people called her a drama llama and said she made them want to vomit, said her baby was six months old so she hadn’t ‘just’ had a baby and said she should get a grip. It was like the DM comments section.

I think part of it is that many more men and non-parents are on Mumsnet now. That’s not a problem in itself but it does mean it’s a less supportive place for actual parenting advice.

All too easy @Monkeynuts18 to blame "the other" for ruining the board....but I was on that thread about PND and I can say that the viciousness of some of those posters you described came from regulars on this board. People who have identified as women through their posts in the past, and who have identified as parents. I've been around on these boards long enough to know who is who.

Yes I'm sure there are a few newbies and trolls etc, and maybe a few men, but that's not what's making it a less supportive place for actual parenting advice.

it's more that the actual parenting advice is being shouted down by regular posters, women, parents themselves, who prefer the bunfight and the verbal kicking because it means they get to put an OP in "their place" and get a reaction from them.

I'll get flamed for this, but anyone else who is a regular reader of AIBU will know what I mean, else they're in denial to be frank.

You can't just "blame it on the bots" here - it's a real culture thing on AIBU.

wanderings · 28/07/2020 08:07

I'm enjoying all your replies. Even though I know MN has been nasty for ever, as are many places on the internet, it really does feel a lot worse than usual. I've had the Covid topic hidden for a good while, so I probably don't even see the worst of it! MN is so polarised right now: everyone has to be either on one side, or the other; there's no sensible middle ground in a lot of things.

However, there have been a few more relaxed fun threads though.

OP posts:
Monkeynuts18 · 28/07/2020 11:37

@GinDaddyRedux

Fair enough - I’m not really a regular on these boards and didn’t recognise the guilty posters.

It was hideous though, possibly the worst thread I’ve ever seen, and I just find it so hard to believe that any woman who’s actually had a baby (a) wouldn’t pick up on the basic signs of PND and (b) would enjoy being so utterly vicious and spiteful to another mother in such a difficult time. And if that’s the case MN is even nastier than I thought!

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