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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that MN has become unspeakably horrible lately

136 replies

wanderings · 26/07/2020 08:52

Yes, I know there's a pandemic on, don't we all. But in the last week or two, Mumsnet has become truly vile, it feels worse that it was at the start of lockdown. There have been threads where people have really piled on the OP, where really vile comments were allowed to stand for a long time. People have started so many "holier than thou" threads which look as if they want a bunfight. Don't tell me it's "robust debate": there has been a lot of blatant cruelty going on, with people kicking the OP when she is down.

And perhaps also it should change its name from "Mumsnet" to "Masknet". Every other thread is about the bloody masks. It's bad enough having the reality of them, without having to talk about them all the time. Could they be quarantined in the Coronavirus topic where they belong?

Mumsnet used to be a place to come to for escapism, and light reading; it makes you long for the threads about loo brushes and shoes off in the house. There's also been a real drought of fun threads, such as nostalgia ones. I've tried starting some of my own in the last couple of weeks, which have only had a few replies.

I would have ended this with "flame away", but that would make it look as if I was looking for a bunfight.

OP posts:
SecretWitch · 26/07/2020 15:05

You should have seen what things were like back in the early MN days. If a new poster dared write something the established clique didn’t like they were likely to receive a response of “parp”..

MN rolls along with society, both the good and bad. I spend much less time here now and more on Reddit. Reddit also has the bonus of an edit feature!

C130 · 26/07/2020 15:07

I might write one too called "don't say racist things if you don't want to be called racist".

MorningManiacMusic · 26/07/2020 15:13

Jeffrey was only 6 years ago though and after PB which was when the real knuckle draggers flooded in. Jeffrey didn't bring in new posters, quite the opposite.

PB-Brexit-Covid. Perfect storm.

YgritteSnow · 26/07/2020 15:14

I didn't Smile

Resisting and defending yourself from the constant accusations of racism is not in itself racist, no matter how much you wish to convince others it is.

Don't worry it will all be covered in my book.

Namechangedforthis132 · 26/07/2020 15:17

@YgritteSnow I don’t understand what u are on about. Obviously if someone is showing racism in their opinions and comments then they ARE racist. What exactly are u defending. Nonsense as usual when anyone tries to show there’s a problem. Keep thinking and convincing yourself there is no problem

Namechangedforthis132 · 26/07/2020 15:20

Just read sone of your other posts on here and you’ve admitted your posts have been deleted by mumsnet. Maybe think before you post then?

Namechangedforthis132 · 26/07/2020 15:22

The thread is called “to ask if mumsnet ever told you off? Did you agree?” If anyone is interested. Ygritte You obviously sound like someone who loves stirring up trouble!

AlphabetABC · 26/07/2020 15:23

I would like to read your new book Ygriiite.

CassandraCross · 26/07/2020 15:24

If you want lighthearted fun OP check out the jar opening thread which has just been moved to Classics.

LesLavandes · 26/07/2020 15:25

Yes. I isn't any fun. I do agree

SchrodingersImmigrant · 26/07/2020 15:26

@Namechangedforthis132

Just read sone of your other posts on here and you’ve admitted your posts have been deleted by mumsnet. Maybe think before you post then?
Tbf I had at least one deleted too. In that case I actually said same what other poster said few posts later, but they said it differently and mine was reported. So having posts deleted isn't in my experience solid indication of dickheadiness.
labyrinthloafer · 26/07/2020 15:28

@FishOnPillows

I think it’s just representative of the country as a whole. A lot of people aren’t feeling all that fun atm. And a lot of people are struggling mentally, which can come out as aggressive/depressive/ anxious behaviour.

Coronavirus is having a huge influence on most people’s lives, it’s a dominating factor in many peoples’, so it’s natural there’s a lot of threads about it.

As shitty as it may be to see, I actually think it’s pretty cool to see Mumsnet being representative of societal shifts; a microcosm of the country.

I cba to construct a reply but basically this⬆️
Namechangedforthis132 · 26/07/2020 15:34

So having posts deleted isn't in my experience solid indication of dickheadiness

But she’s admitted posts have been deleted under FEW DIFFERENT USERNAMES. Surely one deleted post is not indication but have several deleted under DIFFERENT usernames is a whole another story!

Cait73 · 26/07/2020 15:44

I rarely visit any more

SchrodingersImmigrant · 26/07/2020 15:46

@Namechangedforthis132

So having posts deleted isn't in my experience solid indication of dickheadiness

But she’s admitted posts have been deleted under FEW DIFFERENT USERNAMES. Surely one deleted post is not indication but have several deleted under DIFFERENT usernames is a whole another story!

You have a point there.
C130 · 26/07/2020 15:50

Your not wrong Namechangedforthis.

cologne4711 · 26/07/2020 15:53

Agree with you about the mask threads. The biggest complaint I have about MN is the tedious repetition and I think MNHQ should delete repetitious threads

But you don't need to read or open them. If I know/guess something is going to bore/depress/annoy me I just don't open it. Scroll by!

LonelyGir1 · 26/07/2020 15:59

Why don’t you start a light thread instead then?

YgritteSnow · 26/07/2020 16:09

But she’s admitted posts have been deleted under FEW DIFFERENT USERNAMES. Surely one deleted post is not indication but have several deleted under DIFFERENT usernames is a whole another story!

Please give context to this. On what thread was this "admission" please? I'm pretty sure I meant that having been here for 12-13 years I have had a few deletions. I would imagine the majority of long term posters have. I hope you're not implying they were for racism...?

@Namechangedforthis132 as for what I am trying to do, I'm tired of being told I am racist, that whole forums are racist, that we cannot help being racist, no matter how hard we try we will always be racist. This is a belief system only, concepts that many are too afraid to challenge, but I am not. I don't find MN racist as a whole. Yes you get the odd comment and it is uniformly robustly addressed and deleted. But I reject these claims that MN is wholly racist site. Hope that's clearer.

YgritteSnow · 26/07/2020 16:13

Tbf I had at least one deleted too. In that case I actually said same what other poster said few posts later, but they said it differently and mine was reported. So having posts deleted isn't in my experience solid indication of dickheadiness.

Well yes @SchrodingersImmigrant but I think namechange quoting me, without explanation of why I said that is intended to imply is that I am deeply problematic (possibly racist?) poster, which I reject Smile

BranchAndPoppy · 26/07/2020 16:20

I think "unspeakably horrible" is a bit dramatic tbh. It's never been cosy. Especially on AIBU. You do have to brace yourself if you post a thread on here sometimes. I also think it is particularly bad at the weekends. More people with time on their hands etc.

I don't think it has become all that much worse in the time I've been on here, which is over 6 years now. I wasn't here when it were nothing but fields round here or anything.

I remember a particularly weird time, coming up to Christmas one year, but that was ages ago. I avoid AIBU around Christmas now actually, for that reason!

Freewillies · 26/07/2020 16:49

@Cologne4711

You don't always know. Many posters have misleading titles and if we use e.g Dominic Cummings as an example there were numerous threads by posters thinking they were oh so witty and original starting threads saying things like 'I feel unwell and want my parents to help, AIBU to drive to see them?' 'My BIL has really pissed me off, AIBU?' 'My boss told me I couldn't do something but I found out he did it' 'AIBU to go and see my parents?' etc etc.

And you didn't know it was the 30th fucking boring thread about Cummings till you opened it.

A lot of MNetters aren't thick. They want the attention of a thread but know some won't open it if it says e.g 'schools going back' in the title so title it 'AIBU to think this will be fine? AIBU to think this is terrifying? DH thinks i'm wrong, AIBU? AIBU to think this might not work? AIBU to want to leave my job? AIBU to be really fucking angry? etc etc etc

TheQueef · 26/07/2020 16:57

When people blame penis beaker it always puts me in mind of blaming Thatcher Grin
I've just had a thread deleted, I wasn't being a dick or nasty and in general the replies were mostly ok.
I don't like threads as indicated by Freewillies that are baity and already covered in active five times.
Only thing I do think has changed is everything being reported so threads are all over. If someone was being nasty another poster would shut them up but now it's just deleted.

getherout34 · 26/07/2020 17:00

Agreed aibu often turns into witch hunts for the op rather than any support or proper advice and the op gets roasted by the holier than thou posters who appear detached from reality.

Devlesko · 26/07/2020 17:01

The Queef

The replies weren't mostly ok, they were downright racist as many on here are.
Not accusing you btw but that topic rarely makes more than 2 pages, due to racism.

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