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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be disappointed by this 40th birthday gift from my friends?

408 replies

bdaydisappoint · 25/07/2020 19:43

Basically, I've known this particular group of 8 friends including me since school (almost 30 years now!!) and I'm the last of the group to hit the big 40. We had a lovely socially distanced picnic in the park yesterday where they excitedly gave me... a gift box full of Tropic stuff.

One of the girls has recently become a Tropic ambassador and honestly, she's become quite obsessed. It feels like every conversation winds back to Tropic somehow and she keeps asking everyone if they'd like to host pamper parties (so much fun and a great chance to catch up with wine if nothing else! Hmm). I dislike all MLM type selling on principle so have always excused myself from the parties (all via Zoom in this covid-19 world). However, I haven't outright told her I'm not interested, so tbf she won't know my true feelings on it.

There's two reasons I feel a bit let down. Firstly, it's just so generic and impersonal. For all of the other girls' 40ths, we've tried to give gifts personal to the birthday girl in question e.g. the gin lover got a fancy gin masterclass, the musical theatre fan got tickets to a West End show (obviously these were pre-pandemic), the avid reader got a book subscription etc etc. A skin care set just isn't, well, 'me' really. I'm not especially into beauty stuff and I've never expressed a desire to try tropic. Secondly, it just irks me that my Tropic selling friend has probably got paid commission and this might be the main reason for the gift choice. It's not about the money (knowing how expensive Tropic stuff is, I think they've actually spent a lot! Blush) it's more the lack of thought considering we've made an effort to do personal presents for everyone else. And also having MLM products forced upon me when I've been actively avoiding them! Sad

AIBU and a horrible, terrible and ungrateful friend? Or am I right to feel disappointed by this? For info, I tried not to let my feelings show and did thank them all. In the end, it was a minor blip in what was otherwise a truly wonderful day.

OP posts:
Jazzmin · 25/07/2020 20:25

Have you looked up the cost of what you were given? Maybe she was well-intentioned and has given you twice as much as they would normally spend by using her discount? If so, I would see what you can eBay to buy yourself a nice treat, and donate the rest to a deserving cause. A win-win. Happy birthday!

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 25/07/2020 20:25

I saw a meme today.

Couldn't agree more.

www.reddit.com/r/antiMLM/comments/hvxtp3/too_true/

To be disappointed by this 40th birthday gift from my friends?
SchrodingersImmigrant · 25/07/2020 20:27

[quote EmbarrassingAdmissions]I saw a meme today.

Couldn't agree more.

www.reddit.com/r/antiMLM/comments/hvxtp3/too_true/[/quote]
I am not even mum and I get some on...
LinkedIn!

Justgivemewine · 25/07/2020 20:28

YANBU, it’s the lack of though that would annoy me

Being generous, it could be Covid made finding a gift was a bit more difficult 🤷‍♀️

This happened with the teachers gifts at school this year, there was a collection and the MLM bot couldn’t wait to jump in offering to sort it out.

InsertHilariousUserName · 25/07/2020 20:30

So there are 8 of you and the other 6 just went along with MLM bot? I'd be more disappointed in them for being so wimpy.

What were their faces like when they gave the "gift"? Did any look embarrassed?? Do you think they knew how gutted you were?

PlanDeRaccordement · 25/07/2020 20:30

It’s a poor gift, but so we’re all the others you listed too. I think your group of friends is just not very good at selecting gifts. Which happens, many people over think gifts and then end up buying whatever in desperation.

LizzieBennett70 · 25/07/2020 20:32

I bought some stuff online from them and it's shit. The shampoo is like water and the deodorant brought me out in massive rash. I left a negative review and it never appeared on their website Hmm

Wait until you all meet up again, and take it all back saying you so sorry but you can't use it due to reacting to it, and you don't want to waste it so do they all want something from the selection. Tip a bit out of each one so it looks like you've used it. That then will guarantee you won't get it again.

I'd be really fucked off too, OP.

katy1213 · 25/07/2020 20:35

I'd be disappointed, too. Just say a firm, "No,' when she asks if you want to buy more! Would it be too cheeky to give it back for her birthday, 'Because I know you love it'?

diddl · 25/07/2020 20:35

"So there are 8 of you and the other 6 just went along with MLM bot? I'd be more disappointed in them for being so wimpy."

That!

Tbh, I might not have a "thing", but I would hope that good friends would know that make up/beauty/skin care/spa day are not my thing at all!

Geraniumblue · 25/07/2020 20:35

YANBU It’s that sense of disappointment at not being cared for that’s a bit shattering. If they knew you really well, they’d be able to get a present that really suited you. Or at least ask you what you’d really like.

Norma27 · 25/07/2020 20:36

I was ready to say yabu until I saw it was pyramid scheme crap. I would actually be mad and probably call the Hun out over it. I would rather have nothing than something which supports such a predatory business model.
Happy 40th tho

jessstan2 · 25/07/2020 20:37

Maybe they just didn't know what to buy you and thought, "Everyone uses skin care", even if you don't :-).

Tropic stuff is very, very good. I bought it years ago when Susan Ma was on The Apprentice (liked her), and was very impressed with the products and their ethos.

You can sell it on ebay, lots of people sell unwanted gifts of skin care products on there.

Bakeachocolatecaketoday · 25/07/2020 20:38

TBH I'd fess up to your most sympathetic friend - tell her you need the receipt as you are allergic and need to swap it for a your usual hypo-allergenic brand. This will bite you in the bum otherwise....you'll be asked how you got on with it etc etc

Possiblywickedandlazy · 25/07/2020 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 25/07/2020 20:40

That’s a rubbish gift and I’d put good money on the Tropic Bot having steam-rollered the others into it. Bung it on eBay and use the money to buy something you like and if Tropic Bot asks you about it just say it wasn’t suitable for your skin so you passed it on.

Happy birthday Cake

Atadaddicted · 25/07/2020 20:40

Very outing OP!!

Atadaddicted · 25/07/2020 20:40

Put it like this - I think I may know you!

Laaalaaaa · 25/07/2020 20:40

I’d be delighted to get that as a gift. Just my preference.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 25/07/2020 20:41

Very outing OP!!

Are you the Tropic Bot? Hmm

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 25/07/2020 20:41

I absolutely love Tropics, it would be me dream gift. But t totally understand the issue, your friends should know you better.

HuggedTheRedwoods · 25/07/2020 20:41

It is a bit rubbish and I suspect maybe your other friends secretly know that too.

But on the bright side, you now have a free get-out-of-jail card from her future sales pitches as you'll be slowly still using up your lovely gift stock so no need to buy more (Tropic CF isn't to know it went to the donation box!).

Norma27 · 25/07/2020 20:42

I also agree with regifting it to them piece by piece.

Atadaddicted · 25/07/2020 20:43

No, but I Have friend contributed towards a 40th birthday present of Tropics products in last couple of weeks! And there was a birthday picnic!

Norma27 · 25/07/2020 20:43

Is atadaddicted the tropic bot? If so they should be bloody ashamed.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 25/07/2020 20:46

Looks like Tropic friend has arrived to the thread!