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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

problem neighbours

106 replies

Hamilton18 · 24/07/2020 21:49

I thought i would write on here as i feel so wound up and frustrated by my neighbours. First, I bought a really lovely 3 bed semi in a nice area but due to builders having to make 10% of estate social housing, i live next door on one side to social housing house. Also, backing onto my garden is a social housing block of six flats. Now I am not a snob or look down on people on benefits but i have had arguments with some of them as my house adjoins like 5 houses. sadly, the flats have two floors and the upper flats have a juliette balcony where the occupants lean out smoking and looking into my garden watching me like all day as they always seem to be home.

The woman behind me has attached loads of climbing plants and such to my fence( Ive checked my deeds so it is my responsibility) and has broken one of the slats. When i went around to talk to her about it and suggested that she should not attach anymore as the weight was too heavy and it was my fence, she became abusive shouting and swearing at me. So now I am trying to get a gardener in to fix it and i have to pay. Secondly, the man next door to her besides blasting music in his garden with speakers over 5 ft that he put outside in the garden, painted his side of my fence and dripped paint all over my newly over fence. I was so angry that i said very loudly and not politely how i felt. Then i awakened next morning to find the fence lifted up and stuck in the air and him just sitting there looking at me through my window. I went out to ask and he said he was trying to paint his shed so he had to lift the fence but would be done soon. i said ok and was reasonable even though i did mention about the paint. He apologised and i left at that.

Now my next door neighbour is a single mum that does not work and is always home with her 11 year old son. i get on with her but he kicks a football against my fence everyday and despite the force cracking the strengthening rod, footballs coming over everyday and the noise, i never complained. i have stopped sitting in the garden as you can't enjoy it with constant thud against the fence and being watched. well today i felt like i had enough and i was hanging out washing when he his football hit the fence so hard and i shouted for him to stop. His mum came out and we had a very loud shouting argument and i'm ashamed to say that i told her to f-off too. We have both apologised and have tried to sort it but i just feel like because i have neighbours that dont work or own their house they dont care about others. I just want some peace and quiet at times in garden and it annoys me that they have damaged my fence and act like i dont have a right to say anything. i have thought it was a mistake to live here and also i hate the lack of privacy. I work really long hours and i just want a nice garden to relax in when i can.

i have called an estate agent to put my house up for sale but my ex thinks i'm overeacting and i care too much about the garden. I'm in need of advice of what to do as i'm so unhappy here.

OP posts:
Amijustagrump · 24/07/2020 21:52

You are not a snob?? But your whole post is full of snobbery. I think you are a bit of a problem neighbour tbh if you are going to be sarcastic, shouty and swearing at people.

VictoriousSockPuppet · 24/07/2020 21:59

On another thread a poster has a concrete fence. She has it because of inclement weather, but something so sturdy might suit you?

Or else, yeah... move

MzHz · 24/07/2020 22:08

Move.

Your poor neighbours have suffered enough

Pinkyyy · 24/07/2020 22:12

You are indeed a snob.

I hope you never fall on hard times and have to claim benefits.

We're in a bloody pandemic of course they're always home.

Port1aCastis · 24/07/2020 22:12

I'm a single Mother and you are stereotyping and being nasty so yeah just move

Wattagoose90 · 24/07/2020 22:17

I don't think you're a snob.

But I do think the best thing to do is move.

dawnc27 · 24/07/2020 22:19

if shes a single mum of an 11yr old and doesnt work id assume theres a reason other than she doesnt want to work tbh
also yes youre a snob

blue25 · 24/07/2020 22:20

Sounds awful. I’d have to move.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 24/07/2020 22:20

Falling on hard times doesn't mean one can just go and damage someone else's property.

I don't think it will get better OP. Inconsiderate neighbours can make life difficult.

TheQueef · 24/07/2020 22:20

I think you are a goady little tinker Wink

Hamilton18 · 24/07/2020 22:22

thanks for all of your replies as i can see how others may view my actions and me. first, i'm not a snob or judging single mums. i'm actually a single mum myself and a teacher that works out of choice in a very deprived area as i want to give all children a good start in life and help them. i myself come from a very deprived area so i know what it feels like and how important teachers were to me. i just want some peace and a bit of privacy with a fence that's not damaged. i know i shouldn't have shouted and i have apologised, but being human, after two and half years, the noise just got to me and i lost my temper. it won't happen again and yes you are all correct though, i should move.

OP posts:
TrainspottingWelsh · 24/07/2020 22:26

The problem is you're simply far too good for them op, why, your class simply shined out from your post, and with every sentence I read I became more convinced you were a cut above these people.

I bet your neighbours are regretting their decision to live on a mixed estate too and praying to fuck that all the other homeowners don't turn out to be low class.

Timesdone · 24/07/2020 22:29

Don't think you won't have issues if you move away from social housing. Home owners can be equally scummy, unreasonable, territorial, anti social & down right nasty. It's not solely the perogative of those who rent. The number of batshit posts on this site about fences, trampolines, puddles, noise, pets and car parking should be a warning. Buy a detached house in the country then you'll only have to worry about "country issues" which is a whole other thread.

KaptainKaveman · 24/07/2020 22:32

It's hard having to slum it with the plebs. Just think of it as your contribution, OP. Wink.

vodkaredbullgirl · 24/07/2020 22:35

How judgmental, sell up and move to the country away from everyone.

NeedsAdvicePlease11 · 24/07/2020 22:38

I live in social housing.
My dp works fulltime. We pay full rent and council tax. And i will be going back to work when our newborn is older.
We look after our property and dp worked throught the full pandemic.
Not all social housing people are spongers.
I a social housing scumbag have yet to have a screaming match and tell my neighbour to fuck off.
You seem to fit in well where you are 😂

FlamedToACrisp · 24/07/2020 22:41

Yes, you do obviously think you're a cut above them, but I don't think it's snobbish to be annoyed that your neighbours have damaged your fence and kick a ball repeatedly. If you're a teacher, it's best if you don't get into public shouting matches with other people. You're not fitting in to this area and I think you should move.

But why the heck is your EX feeling able to express an opinion? Did you ask?

Tillygetsit · 24/07/2020 22:44

OP you have Hyacinth Bouquet syndrome without her class. Mrs B would never tell anyone to fuck off.

TrainspottingWelsh · 24/07/2020 22:48

Can we drop the recommendations op moves to the country please? We don't want her either thanks.

vodkaredbullgirl · 24/07/2020 22:49

Maybe a small island might do lol

JammyHands · 24/07/2020 22:52

sorry but apart from the football cracking the fence, I think most of what you say is the sort of thing you have to put up with unless you can afford to pay a house in the middle of an acre of land.

Nomorewineever · 24/07/2020 22:53

I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all.

Remove the comments about the neighbours situationally and think of the rest...

A Neighbour moving a fence panel without consent which is yours, damaging the same, balls kicked endlessly against fences, 5ft speakers?!

All totally unreasonable. Regardless of any of those neighbours standing, employment status, class or culture. It’s just rude, nasty, ignorant, intrusive and selfish behaviour.

And yes you are entitled to peace and quiet in your garden. Noisy fuckers should fuck right off and live together - just as much as people needing quiet should be granted it.

Move. I would.

catmg · 24/07/2020 22:54

I think other posters are being a bit harsh OP. You were simply giving context to your situation. It sounds like you have pretty inconsiderate neighbours and your relationship with them has broken down. If they're not likely to be going anywhere soon, I'd be inclined to move house.

Whatisthisfuckery · 24/07/2020 22:58

If it’s been 2 1/2 years he’s been booting the ball against your fence, why haven’t you said something before? Why have you just left it until you explode?

Sounds very much to me like your conflict resolution skills aren’t up to scratch, and seriously, if you buy a house whose garden is overlooked by flats with balconies, which other direction do you expect people to look in?

NavyBerry · 24/07/2020 22:59

You cannot change them. Just move, even if it means a smaller house. At least you will enjoy it. It sounds awful.