Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

problem neighbours

106 replies

Hamilton18 · 24/07/2020 21:49

I thought i would write on here as i feel so wound up and frustrated by my neighbours. First, I bought a really lovely 3 bed semi in a nice area but due to builders having to make 10% of estate social housing, i live next door on one side to social housing house. Also, backing onto my garden is a social housing block of six flats. Now I am not a snob or look down on people on benefits but i have had arguments with some of them as my house adjoins like 5 houses. sadly, the flats have two floors and the upper flats have a juliette balcony where the occupants lean out smoking and looking into my garden watching me like all day as they always seem to be home.

The woman behind me has attached loads of climbing plants and such to my fence( Ive checked my deeds so it is my responsibility) and has broken one of the slats. When i went around to talk to her about it and suggested that she should not attach anymore as the weight was too heavy and it was my fence, she became abusive shouting and swearing at me. So now I am trying to get a gardener in to fix it and i have to pay. Secondly, the man next door to her besides blasting music in his garden with speakers over 5 ft that he put outside in the garden, painted his side of my fence and dripped paint all over my newly over fence. I was so angry that i said very loudly and not politely how i felt. Then i awakened next morning to find the fence lifted up and stuck in the air and him just sitting there looking at me through my window. I went out to ask and he said he was trying to paint his shed so he had to lift the fence but would be done soon. i said ok and was reasonable even though i did mention about the paint. He apologised and i left at that.

Now my next door neighbour is a single mum that does not work and is always home with her 11 year old son. i get on with her but he kicks a football against my fence everyday and despite the force cracking the strengthening rod, footballs coming over everyday and the noise, i never complained. i have stopped sitting in the garden as you can't enjoy it with constant thud against the fence and being watched. well today i felt like i had enough and i was hanging out washing when he his football hit the fence so hard and i shouted for him to stop. His mum came out and we had a very loud shouting argument and i'm ashamed to say that i told her to f-off too. We have both apologised and have tried to sort it but i just feel like because i have neighbours that dont work or own their house they dont care about others. I just want some peace and quiet at times in garden and it annoys me that they have damaged my fence and act like i dont have a right to say anything. i have thought it was a mistake to live here and also i hate the lack of privacy. I work really long hours and i just want a nice garden to relax in when i can.

i have called an estate agent to put my house up for sale but my ex thinks i'm overeacting and i care too much about the garden. I'm in need of advice of what to do as i'm so unhappy here.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 06/09/2020 17:02

I agree op this is cumulative, it all builds up till you can’t take any more
As such it’s best to move and give them all a break.

You can then start again somewhere fresh and shout fuck off at your neighbours as soon as they displease you and when it gets too much for them, move again.

There is a never ending stream of places you can live and abuse your neighbours. It’s really nice you’re doing the right thing and looking to see when it’s too much for them and to move on

Bluntness100 · 06/09/2020 17:03

I’ll be moving soon to somewhere where people have a modicum of consideration and understand the value of a calm environment

Where’s that then?

stoppingstones · 06/09/2020 17:12

This post was from
July. Noticing quite a few resurrected threads this afternoon 😂

JalapenoDave · 06/09/2020 18:00

OP, your situation sounds horrible. I am in the minority of people on here who do not think you're a snob - it simply sounds like you are at the end of your tether. A lot of MN users do seem to think that most HA people are hard-working, benefit-shy people - in my experience that is not the case. My friends and family who currently live and have lived in HA areas have experienced these sort of problems, and I agree with you that a lot of HA tenants do not care about keeping their houses tidy. Probably because they don't pay for them, they don't own their house, they have no love for it. Of course this does not apply to all HA tenants. But a lot of them.
Anyway, I digress. I hate saying this as I know it isn't an easy option, but if you can move then I certainly would. If not, keep a log of absolutely every incident and get on to the council. Any more anti-social behaviour, get on to the police.
I really think the people who are berating you for feeling like this have never experienced the horrors of nightmare neighbours - YANBU for feeling the way you do.
Good luck Flowers

MorganKitten · 06/09/2020 18:27

Now I am not a snob or look down on people on benefits but i have had arguments with some of them as my house adjoins like 5 houses. sadly, the flats have two floors and the upper flats have a juliette balcony where the occupants lean out smoking and looking into my garden watching me like all day as they always seem to be home

You’re not a snob but judging them.... ok...

JalapenoDave · 06/09/2020 18:38

@MorganKitten

Now I am not a snob or look down on people on benefits but i have had arguments with some of them as my house adjoins like 5 houses. sadly, the flats have two floors and the upper flats have a juliette balcony where the occupants lean out smoking and looking into my garden watching me like all day as they always seem to be home

You’re not a snob but judging them.... ok...

...but she isn't judging them? She is purely making a statement that the tenants lean out of the window and stare at her. That isn't being judgemental and I'm pretty sure this would piss a lot of people off.
Jaxhog · 06/09/2020 18:41

For what it's worth ALL neighbours can be this shitty. Owner occupiers, social, whatever. Some people seem to have little regard for others.

I'd move somewhere with few or no neighbours.

JalapenoDave · 06/09/2020 18:43

@Jaxhog I am a homeowner surrounded by other homeowners. Some of my neighbours are absolutely awful. If I could saw my house from its foundations and drop it into the middle of a field I would.

Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd · 06/09/2020 18:44

YANBU. Fucking sick of being subjected to other peoples' music and parties.

gingerbeerandlemonade · 06/09/2020 18:44

I don't own my own house but I do care about it. You're a snob who can't write correctly.

Torvean32 · 06/09/2020 18:56

I think if you're unhappy you should move.

I live in a council block of flats. There's 5 permanant flats and 1 temporary. The tenants that live in the temporary flat cause nothing but trouble. Between my neighbours and i we've had 4 evicted. Theyiterally made everyones life a nightmare.

I really want to move south and be close to family. I'd love a house with no neighbours.

Kat317 · 05/07/2022 15:44

I can't believe all the nasty messages, calling this poor woman a snob. All coming from adults. It shows the immaturity..... so sad!!

girlfriend44 · 05/07/2022 15:50

I'm sure we have all had some neighbour issues from time to time. You just try and muddle on or sort it out.

ohlookout · 05/07/2022 15:52

The mistake you made was buying a house next to social housing. People will call you a snob but I've had similar issues to yours with social housing so I will never live near them again.

LondonWolf · 05/07/2022 15:56

Kat317 · 05/07/2022 15:44

I can't believe all the nasty messages, calling this poor woman a snob. All coming from adults. It shows the immaturity..... so sad!!

Hmm, so strange to bump such an old thread just draw attention to what big meanies MNetters are. Almost like it's been done on purpose...

RincewindsHat · 05/07/2022 15:59

You're not a snob, you would like to enjoy peace and quiet in your own home without people staring at you, damaging your property or causing constant noise. Very reasonable, no idea why people are jumping down your throat.

Your neighbours would drive me crazy, the only solution is to move. No guarantee of getting any better neighbours next time, though.

Oceanus · 05/07/2022 16:17

Move. I'm with you, you're entitled to enjoy your garden but things will never change. Just move, it's not worth it, going to bed thinking about what they're going to do tomorrow. Also, keep in mind, if they don't own, you could potentially get worse neighbours in the future, just move.

Squills · 05/07/2022 16:28

I don't think you're unreasonable at all. It has nothing to do with whether the tenants are benefits claimants - they are behaving in a totally unacceptable way. Breaking your fence, painting it, kicking footballs against it, 5ft speakers... I would have complained long before you did.

Unfortunately I think you will have to move. The more incidents and disputes, which will inevitably happen, will mean that you'll have to declare them to potential buyers. I think you've done the right thing in putting your house on the market. I hope you you find a buyer and another home quickly.

theemmadilemma · 05/07/2022 16:29

I'm a bit lost as to why you bought a house backing on to flats when privacy in the garden was a thing for you. You could almost guarantee a lack of privacy there.

RoyalMiss · 05/07/2022 17:02

Amijustagrump · 24/07/2020 21:52

You are not a snob?? But your whole post is full of snobbery. I think you are a bit of a problem neighbour tbh if you are going to be sarcastic, shouty and swearing at people.

I don't think you are a snob. You've been pushed to your limit by other people who do not respect their property . It must be like living in a nightmare.
I would complain to the LA. They could warn them about their behaviour perhaps?

Dajeeling · 05/07/2022 17:07

I am a single mother and you are not being a snob OP. You are simply saying what is happening and some no doubt highly privileged people who don’t live around this are trying to tell you are snobby so they can feel holier than thou.

it sounds horrible and I would be looking to move. Sorry you have to do so.

vodkaredbullgirl · 05/07/2022 17:09

👻

FallopianTubeTrain · 05/07/2022 17:16

You're dubious bumping of a zombie thread has reminded me just how much I love this song

Thanks!

Alliswells · 05/07/2022 17:33

Kat317 · 05/07/2022 15:44

I can't believe all the nasty messages, calling this poor woman a snob. All coming from adults. It shows the immaturity..... so sad!!

The thread's from 2 years ago

Oceanus · 05/07/2022 17:35

Alliswells · 05/07/2022 17:33

The thread's from 2 years ago

Show quote history

😂😂😂I missed that too! I wonder if the OP sold the house in the end!