problem neighbours

[Hamilton18]

I thought i would write on here as i feel so wound up and frustrated by my neighbours. First, I bought a really lovely 3 bed semi in a nice area but due to builders having to make 10% of estate social housing, i live next door on one side to social housing house. Also, backing onto my garden is a social housing block of six flats. Now I am not a snob or look down on people on benefits but i have had arguments with some of them as my house adjoins like 5 houses. sadly, the flats have two floors and the upper flats have a juliette balcony where the occupants lean out smoking and looking into my garden watching me like all day as they always seem to be home.

The woman behind me has attached loads of climbing plants and such to my fence( Ive checked my deeds so it is my responsibility) and has broken one of the slats. When i went around to talk to her about it and suggested that she should not attach anymore as the weight was too heavy and it was my fence, she became abusive shouting and swearing at me. So now I am trying to get a gardener in to fix it and i have to pay. Secondly, the man next door to her besides blasting music in his garden with speakers over 5 ft that he put outside in the garden, painted his side of my fence and dripped paint all over my newly over fence. I was so angry that i said very loudly and not politely how i felt. Then i awakened next morning to find the fence lifted up and stuck in the air and him just sitting there looking at me through my window. I went out to ask and he said he was trying to paint his shed so he had to lift the fence but would be done soon. i said ok and was reasonable even though i did mention about the paint. He apologised and i left at that.

Now my next door neighbour is a single mum that does not work and is always home with her 11 year old son. i get on with her but he kicks a football against my fence everyday and despite the force cracking the strengthening rod, footballs coming over everyday and the noise, i never complained. i have stopped sitting in the garden as you can't enjoy it with constant thud against the fence and being watched. well today i felt like i had enough and i was hanging out washing when he his football hit the fence so hard and i shouted for him to stop. His mum came out and we had a very loud shouting argument and i'm ashamed to say that i told her to f-off too. We have both apologised and have tried to sort it but i just feel like because i have neighbours that dont work or own their house they dont care about others. I just want some peace and quiet at times in garden and it annoys me that they have damaged my fence and act like i dont have a right to say anything. i have thought it was a mistake to live here and also i hate the lack of privacy. I work really long hours and i just want a nice garden to relax in when i can.

i have called an estate agent to put my house up for sale but my ex thinks i'm overeacting and i care too much about the garden. I'm in need of advice of what to do as i'm so unhappy here.

This is estate life, houses packed in together multiple gardens backing onto each other. It's a bit suffocating. It really dosnt come down to people living in social housing, anyone can be a bad neighbour regardless of class status. You've been very disparaging of people in social housing but I put that down to you being angry and upset about it. I think you should move to a quieter and less built up area.

Putting aside who lives in the adjoining houses, yes I think it is time for you to move and understand your reasons why.

I would suggest though you have ''allowed'' this to build up over time, instead of nipping it in the bud in the early days. It is affecting your judgement and actions (ie you swore at someone you normally wouldn't have sworn out, and have since apologised to) and this is not a healthy situation to remain in.

Personally, if nothing changed after approaching the house occupiers in the first and earlier instance, I would have taken it up with Council or whoever manages local affairs there.

We have just had some entitled twats move close by, build a steel shed and play musical instruments when they ''feel like it''. I have asked them to soundproof the shed so they can play and we don't have to hear it at the levels, which they don't want to do.

So that's it as far as I'm concerned, they can deal with noise control and have their equipment confiscated (as our local Council rules permit) instead.

Sounds hell I'd move.

I'm a social housing tenant and I don't think you're a snob, you're also correct a lot of social housing tenants can be bad neighbours unfortunately so can hone owners

This is an issue with where you live not who you live with

OP: go buy yourself an island -Robinson Crusoe style - you will be happier and your neighbours too.

The faux political correctness and virtue signalling on this site really pissed me off at times!

Or course not all council tenants are benefit frauds or layabouts/drug dealers, but the worst tenants usually are DSS. There was a thread a while back about it and people were falling over themselves to state that council tenants where the salt of the earth and they they'd had more issues with noisy parties from yuppie neighbours etc etc. Then a couple of coppers posted to say that the large majority of antisocial behaviour they encountered was on council estates without a doubt. 🤷‍♀️

I remember the trampoline thread about neighbour's child gawping over the fence and people were up in arms, but it's ok for adults to sit and watch their neighbours a day.

Guarantee most on here would not take well to paint all over their new fence, 5ft speakers blasting music, and footballs banging off their wall non stop.

There was absolutely no reason to mention social housing in your post

Of course it’s relevant to mention that it’s social housing. The first thing posters ask on these threads is “is it social housing or owned”, because it has an impact on how you deal with it!!
Housing associations can usually have very strict behaviour policies that tenants have to adhere to.
Since our housing association tenants moved into our new estate in February there has been no less than 25 complaints relating to 3 households that have negatively impacted approx 8 households... and that’s only because the houses they live next to are currently unoccupied.
Their behaviour is feral and them being unemployed is a concern because that means they do it ALL DAY!!!

I would move. Sounds awful.

I think you should move but in the meantime could you ask your neighbour to get her son a foam football to play in the garden? Even buy it for them !? I've got 3 boys so was aware when they were kicking their football against the fence how loud it was. I bought a pack of 3 foam balls off Amazon and it solved the problem.

I would move you're not a snob just surrounded by inconsiderate idiots!

Sell up and move. The shit neighbours will never change their ways. And if it makes you a snob when you don't like this social housing behaviour then so be it. I'll join you.

You definitely need to move. You should be able to enjoy your garden.

Your neighbours sound complete nightmares. Sell if you can - be careful in the future. Ask sellers about their neighbours through your solicitor when buying about specific points whether they have ever complained and tell them you will sue them if they lie. Knock on neighbours doors before you buy to talk to them and see what they are like so you do not repeat this scenario again.

Follow Tara66’s advice. If you are able to move and it is to a new-build, check the plans of the development and avoid houses next to social housing.

Definitely move. It will get you into a (hopefully) more peaceful and civilised environment quickly. Staying there will do no good for your mental health.

I knew you would get a hard time as soon as you mentioned social housing op. You just have inconsiderate, bad neighbours. Sad fact you get them everywhere but it is magnified in your case and you have been very unlucky.

Those you have criticised you as a snob would of course love to live by your neighbours. In fact, there are the very buyers for your home who can fully appreciate the diversity of your lovely neighbours where you have fallen short!

I would move op. The problems are insurmountable due to the number. Your peace of mind is more important.

I feel for you. I live in a private cul-de-sac and have a horrible time with my neighbours. One side is private rented and when a family with kids lived there they slammed their side gate constantly. A new family has just moved in and they smoke cannabis daily and have been raided twice by the police. The other side slam their back door up until midnight, shout on their phones in the garden round the clock and even pulled out my flowers out the front of.my house. Another neighbour let's his dog poo down the side of my house so I have to pick it up. It doesnt matter if it's owned property or rented some neighbours are pigs and have no care for anyone but themselves. I own my car spaces but one neighbour constantly parks there even when asked 5 times not to as they have their own spaces. My husband and I are looking to move but am worried if the new neighbours are going to be just as rude. I wish you luck x PS I can't enjoy my garden either with the cannabis and shouting!!

It’s very interesting that the majority of contributors seem to believe that people who want some peace are the odd ones/have some sort of issue/are snobs !!– and incredibly sad too that they will clearly carry this anti-social, entitled attitude with them, and believe that their noisy behaviour is “normal” so their behaviour shouldn’t be challenged in any way.

I live in the suburbs of a city & over the last 15 years it’s got noisier & noisier – especially due to lockdown as some people “need” to be noticed “Look at MEEEEEEEEEE, notice MEEEEEE!” so are noisier than ever. TF I work away during the week so I do get some peace and quiet!.

This attitude to noise (make as much as you like – it’s everybody else’s problem not mine!!!) is far from normal, it’s supremely selfish, inconsiderate & entitled, and I’ll be moving soon to somewhere where people have a modicum of consideration and understand the value of a calm environment.

Well you do sound a bit snobby but you also have genuine problem neighbours. I would probably move to be honest because all of that would drive me mad.

It isn't snobbery not to want your fence ruined by neighbours.

@Hamilton18
why don’t you start up a community Facebook group and turn this you vs them thing on its head.

You could get the community to work together, look out for each other, become friends, share advice.

I’ve just moved from a new build estate where it’s a mix of social and private - and the FB community group was amazing for bringing people together. I met my best friends through it - and we’re a mix of private owners, shared ownership, mortgage free in the poshest house and a council renter. And we utterly love each other.

You have what it takes to make a change.

But if your neighbours are truly awful (think hard about it!) then the housing association will have a representative for the estate.

I was in shared ownership and we once received a letter saying “some of the private owners have complained about the social renters parking irresponsibly” or something like that. I won’t lie - I was offended by the letter as it was very “them vs us”

So maybe give them a call if you’re definitely pissed off?

You’ve reached your limit. On their own, non of these things are major. Together and it’s like water torture.
I don’t think you are ever going to get peace, as no one thinks they are being overly annoying, it’s just together that it’s too much for you. Moving seems like the best option.

No, you aren’t a snob.

Move as you clearly don’t fit in with these Chavs.

YANBU OP moove to somewhere you like being.