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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

problem neighbours

106 replies

Hamilton18 · 24/07/2020 21:49

I thought i would write on here as i feel so wound up and frustrated by my neighbours. First, I bought a really lovely 3 bed semi in a nice area but due to builders having to make 10% of estate social housing, i live next door on one side to social housing house. Also, backing onto my garden is a social housing block of six flats. Now I am not a snob or look down on people on benefits but i have had arguments with some of them as my house adjoins like 5 houses. sadly, the flats have two floors and the upper flats have a juliette balcony where the occupants lean out smoking and looking into my garden watching me like all day as they always seem to be home.

The woman behind me has attached loads of climbing plants and such to my fence( Ive checked my deeds so it is my responsibility) and has broken one of the slats. When i went around to talk to her about it and suggested that she should not attach anymore as the weight was too heavy and it was my fence, she became abusive shouting and swearing at me. So now I am trying to get a gardener in to fix it and i have to pay. Secondly, the man next door to her besides blasting music in his garden with speakers over 5 ft that he put outside in the garden, painted his side of my fence and dripped paint all over my newly over fence. I was so angry that i said very loudly and not politely how i felt. Then i awakened next morning to find the fence lifted up and stuck in the air and him just sitting there looking at me through my window. I went out to ask and he said he was trying to paint his shed so he had to lift the fence but would be done soon. i said ok and was reasonable even though i did mention about the paint. He apologised and i left at that.

Now my next door neighbour is a single mum that does not work and is always home with her 11 year old son. i get on with her but he kicks a football against my fence everyday and despite the force cracking the strengthening rod, footballs coming over everyday and the noise, i never complained. i have stopped sitting in the garden as you can't enjoy it with constant thud against the fence and being watched. well today i felt like i had enough and i was hanging out washing when he his football hit the fence so hard and i shouted for him to stop. His mum came out and we had a very loud shouting argument and i'm ashamed to say that i told her to f-off too. We have both apologised and have tried to sort it but i just feel like because i have neighbours that dont work or own their house they dont care about others. I just want some peace and quiet at times in garden and it annoys me that they have damaged my fence and act like i dont have a right to say anything. i have thought it was a mistake to live here and also i hate the lack of privacy. I work really long hours and i just want a nice garden to relax in when i can.

i have called an estate agent to put my house up for sale but my ex thinks i'm overeacting and i care too much about the garden. I'm in need of advice of what to do as i'm so unhappy here.

OP posts:
Freddiefox · 24/07/2020 23:02

Just move, it won’t change.

Laaalaaaa · 24/07/2020 23:03

Maybe don’t buy a house where there are so many undesirables - is those in social housing. I mean surely you knew that a certain quota of properties were designated for social housing? How dare they live near you. Appalling.

Lollypop4 · 24/07/2020 23:04

100% Move.
I have the worst neighbours, how the kids arnt in care is beyond me (Though this looks likely soon!) The police are here atleast twice a week and social services almost daily...
We live in a nice area and I am not over looked at all but God I would do anything to move.
I would not be able to live with you are at all.
Yanbu, I hope you sell quickly or atleast can rent your house out!

Zelda93 · 24/07/2020 23:06

I bought a brand new house on a new estate and my garden backed onto 4 gardens all of which had trampolines which gave me no privacy .. lasted a year and sold it!! Best decision I ever made !!

Chocoholic12 · 24/07/2020 23:09

You know alot of people in social housing work full time and pay their full rent? You sound very judgemental.

TrainspottingWelsh · 24/07/2020 23:11

@vodkaredbullgirl the summer isles perhaps

FlamingoAndJohn · 24/07/2020 23:11

The neighbour with the speakers would annoy me a lot if it was regular but the rest of it is just life.

Freddiefox · 24/07/2020 23:19

@NeedsAdvicePlease11

I live in social housing. My dp works fulltime. We pay full rent and council tax. And i will be going back to work when our newborn is older. We look after our property and dp worked throught the full pandemic. Not all social housing people are spongers. I a social housing scumbag have yet to have a screaming match and tell my neighbour to fuck off. You seem to fit in well where you are 😂
The thing is, it only takes one person to make it horrendous for everyone else. I used to live in a lovely HA, paid full, council tax. But the women opposite me decided swear at me all the time because I didn’t want to buy any weed off her. No of course that can happen everywhere and anywhere. The police did nothing, social services were there all the time. Housing association did nothing. This went on for years. Eventually she got bored of me and started on someone else. I moved and wished I’d done it sooner. There are plenty of lovely people in HA’s and unfortunately everyone get judged to be the same.

It’s the lack of action that the HA take that keeps the problems going.

Whatisthisfuckery · 24/07/2020 23:36

I used to have the most annoying neighbours. Classless fuckers owned their house. They had their telly or music on so loud I could hear every word or sing along with my windows shut in my rented flat from early morning till gone midnight. They’d frequently burn things in their garden that would fill the whole street with smoke and they were always shouting out the windows to people on the street below, and don’t even get me started about the projector thing they had at christmas that would beam blinding flashing lights into my flat all night so we couldn’t sleep. Fucking awful, I’ll never live next to house owners again, they think they’re so superior and can get away with anything just because they own their house.

WooleyJ123 · 24/07/2020 23:36

You're not a snob

Of course in MN land those in social housing and on benefits are lovely people, all would work if they could and none commit acts of anti-social behavior Wink and ooh their kids are totally not feral.

But we all know it's not true. In my area you can tell which homes are housing association or social housing and those who are unfortunately living near or next to them in privately owned homes are the ones who tend to suffer. I would move if I were you, I myself would never willing live next door to HA or social housing tenants because the issues you're facing aren't uncommon

amusedtodeath1 · 24/07/2020 23:37

Surely you knew you'd be overlooked when you bought it? You also probably got the house cheaper because of its situation, the other houses far away from the social housing were probably more expensive? You've got two options, find a way to get along with your neighbours or move. Sorry but if you start escalating the situation you may make things worse.

crimsonlake · 24/07/2020 23:42

I am confused as you have issues with 3 neighbours regarding problems with ' your ' fence. Considering you only usually own 1 side this does not add up? You cannot actually own them all?

FlamedToACrisp · 24/07/2020 23:51

@crimsonlake

I am confused as you have issues with 3 neighbours regarding problems with ' your ' fence. Considering you only usually own 1 side this does not add up? You cannot actually own them all?
We own all ours - all 4, in fact, as the front has a fence too.
LucyTamedOgres · 25/07/2020 00:06

YANBU and if I’d move in these circumstances too.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 25/07/2020 00:08

i just feel like because i have neighbours that dont work or own their house they dont care about others.

I could almost have had sympathy for you. Instead I'll be kind and hand you some judgeypants to hoik up to your armpits. How bloody well dare you say that?

Vivana · 25/07/2020 00:11

Wow OP your just a utter snob and you do know people who work also live in social housing.

Yellowcakestand · 25/07/2020 00:12

I am a single parent, in social housing, with a son kicking footballs over neighbours fences.
I also work full time, pay full rent and am a DA survivor.
My front garden is an overgrown jungle, my house needs decorating but it's a home with love and warmth and a well kept back garden.
I can't believe how judgy and this post is.

vodkaredbullgirl · 25/07/2020 00:30

I could complain about my neighbours on here and they probably could too. I choose not too, i just seethe quietly lol

violetbunny · 25/07/2020 00:39

If you're not a snob, then why is it even relevant at all that they're in social housing? They're just your neighbours, full stop.

JenandFlo · 25/07/2020 00:41

Snide comments are presumably from posters in ‘naice’ houses whose experience of problem neighbours is an overgrown leylandii.

YADNBU to object to your neighbour’s’ damaging your property. But you can’t win this, you will have to move.

vodkaredbullgirl · 25/07/2020 00:54

Yes i have a "naice" HA house, yes i have problem neighbours who i dont want to air on here.

Newbiehere123 · 25/07/2020 01:03

I don't agree with anyone here. I've been living through hell with my neighbours for the past 4 years and it's got to a stage where I can no longer take it anymore. Damn this pandemic. I'm planning to sell my property. It's such a lovely house ruined by people you have exactly described in your post. DH was on a business meeting online and they were making so much noise that I went to ask them to tone it down a little bit and said DH is on the phone, the weather is hot and we are forced to shut our windows despite having double glazing and can still hear your shouting and swearing. These idiots said in return " I dun care if his working soh what" and I said "excuse me, if people like my DH didn't work and pay tax, you wouldn't be able to receive your benefits to sit on your ass all day doing nothing"

Staffy1 · 25/07/2020 01:16

@Yellowcakestand

I am a single parent, in social housing, with a son kicking footballs over neighbours fences. I also work full time, pay full rent and am a DA survivor. My front garden is an overgrown jungle, my house needs decorating but it's a home with love and warmth and a well kept back garden. I can't believe how judgy and this post is.
Your neighbours may try and have well kept gardens as well and not be too impressed with a football landing on their plants.
TimeWastingButFun · 25/07/2020 01:17

It sounds like a nightmare from all sides. I would move too, it does sound unlikely that these things will stop.

Newbiehere123 · 25/07/2020 01:20

Sorry just to clarify before I get crucified, there is no problem with receiving benefits or live in social housing however, there is definitely a percentage in our country where there are certain people who have made this a lifestyle by choice and are associated with crime, drugs, fraud and asbo label. I grew up in a social housing estate myself but went to Uni and did better for myself. I had loads of lovely neighbours there and all my friends from that estate have all moved on to do better and are doing well. So really, it's not about lack of opportunities or poverty as there are many examples where people who CHOSE not to live like that. I call this certain percentage the degenerates.