Would you REALLY sacrifice your partner for your child’s life?

[SleepyBaaaa]

Lonnng time lurker, first post.
Read an interesting thread about whether children or partner come first. Lots of comments along the lines of ‘I’d die for my child. If I had to, I’d push my partner under a bus to save my child.’ Like the trolley problem argument.
Obviously very, very unlikely you’ll ever have to do this- fingers crossed!!
So here’s another unrealistic scenario but based around health issues- a far more realistic threat to life than a runaway bus!
Your child needs a rare medical match to save their life. They have limited awareness of the world but experience happiness and could live a fairly long life with the provision of care. Your partner is a match. You can’t be a living donor. If you could get away with it, would you murder your partner so the transplant could take place and save your child’s life? Or would you encourage your partner to commit suicide? What if you were the match?
In other words, if you’re happy to be a hero to save your child’s life, is the urge strong enough that you’d also be a villain?
Would you go to jail for your child for a very serious crime and pretend you committed their crime, because you think they’d not survive in jail?
AIBU to think a parental urge to save and protect at all costs is only truly held by a relatively small number of people?

Have people actually read the scenario? The child cannot be “saved”. Their life is extended but they remain profoundly physically and mentally disabled, probably blind and deaf as well, I assumed, and will need lifelong care. How much happiness will they have if their mother or father is dead? Who will look after them or love them? What will their quality of life be? Why would a parent abandon their child like that? Even if they didn’t have profound disabilities, it’s obviously wrong to kill anyone to save another’s life. All lives are valuable. No-one’s life is ever saved. Everyone dies at some point.

Why are so many people having these discussions? How ridiculous to sit down with your partner and list the extreme lengths you would go to to save your children; like some kind of morbid checklist.
Under what circumstances could you imagine committing suicide to save your child would be a necessary course of action, for example?!
I can't think of a single one.

I wouldn’t have to. My husband would sacrifice himself for our children and vice versa.

My youngest son had a congenital abnormality and it was very much touch and go if he lived. If I could have and it would have saved his life and stopped his physical pain, I would have given him my lung. My husband would do the same. Fortunately his own lungs recovered and he’s now perfectly healthy so no need to further plan our demise!

Strange post

@Frodothedodo

Would you rather fight a lion or a bear?

Naive to think these animals would kill you the same way.

Lion every time. It is likely to actually kill you before it starts eating, the bear not so much.

OP's question is ableist nonsense.

Strange thread, no surprise to see it posted on Mumsnet Madness.

twitter.com/mumsnet_madness/status/1286719299990761476

@DioneTheDiabolist

Definitely ball bags for toes. I would cover them with socks. I could not have willies for fingers.🤮

See? This is just sensible, isn't it?

DH said he would opt for the willy fingers. How can I get past this?

Only read OP, what a fascinating topic.

My experience is as such, then my DSS, now DS, when very young had a renal problem requiring surgery. The need was such we'd been told by Social Services they would attend Court for an Emergency Order to remove him from our care if we failed to consent/attend (no history with them until then). We were also told by the surgeon if the operation didn't "go as planned" he would need an emergency kidney transplant (both DP and I matches). I would've killed myself on the spot, thrown DP under a bus, and likewise for her.

I'd kill myself for either of my children, but then I'd do the same for DP. Since that dark day, and even remembering the anaesthesia room that day covers me in goosebumps and is seared into memory, I've had a 20 year wish to altruistically donate a kidney. However, DS (and DP) could require it so I have foregone the wish and still have two.

Crime, no, although my view is tainted.

No, I would not kill my partner to save my child in the scenario you describe. I wouldn’t kill myself either - I’ve got three other children not to orphan too. I’d kill myself to save my child in an urgent/ necessity situation though. And I expect I’d kill my partner if I discovered they were a danger to my child and I couldn’t protect them any other way.

I wouldn’t go to prison for my child if they’d actually done the crime - I’d support them/ visit them, but if they’d done the crime, they need to do the time. 🤷🏻‍♀️

No to both

@GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou

Heads up, Season 16 is on sky. If you have that, download it to the sky box as it will disappear 24th August. I only mention it as I got to the end of watching all the box set at S12 and had to wait about a year on a pretty big cliffhanger!

I'm off to watch from the start (again!)

Cheers Minty!

In that situation, no.

Because quality of life always beats quantity. "Can experience happiness but has no awareness of the world" so less awareness than the common garden rat?

No, I'd want my child to live a happy, pain free existence for a shorter time.

Does he cook @GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou?

Kill myself of my partner for my child, yes.

Go to prison for them, no- I’d want them to face the consequences for their actions.

Yes without a doubt. I love my husband but if I had to kill him to save my ds's life I would. I would also die myself for my ds in a heartbeat.

I also have stepdc and tbh I think I'd die for them too. They've been in my life for 6 years and I feel strongly for them too. That said, if I saw a child I'd never seen before walk in the path of a car, if I could, I'd try to get them out of the way, taking the impact myself if necessary. Isn't it quite a common instinct in mothers, to protect all children, even the ones you didn't give birth to?

Do most people posting "I'd die for my child in a heartbeat!!" only have one child?

He makes a nice cup of tea, Dione. :o