AIBU to terminate my pregnancy because of how sh*tty I feel?

[mrt1981]

I wasn’t exactly trying, but I got pregnant. At first I was happy but I am now 8 weeks pregnant and I am in hell. Constant sickness, crippling fatigue, generally feeling like absolute crap and have been signed off work. I went to the doctor and got prescribed an anti sickness drug. It takes the edge off slightly but also sends me to sleep so not much use in the day time (and this particular drug is supposed to be a non-drowsy one!)

I have spoken about termination with my partner and he is understandably very disappointed because he has been getting used to the idea of being a dad. He really wants me to go through with the pregnancy, and I feel terrible that I am having these doubts.

But I also just want to feel well again.

I read some of the symptoms usually fade away by the second trimester but for the minority they continue throughout the pregnancy. I am terrified I’ll be in this minority, I don’t want a baby so much that I am willing to live in hell for the next seven months.

If I do go down the termination route than I would want to do it ASAP as the longer I wait, the more it grows into a baby, and I personally find the idea of a late term abortion very upsetting. Whereas right now it’s more like a blob and less like a baby (in my head).

This on top of having what I think are common feelings of not really feeling sure if I want it. Surely if you have a baby you should be sure about wanting it? Although I’m not sure I don’t want it. I don’t know, my head is so messed up right now. I don’t feel any love towards it...

I just do not know what to do. I am split down the middle. Any input would be valued as not really got anyone to talk to about this other than DH.

Thanks

I was one of those unlucky few, it was so hard at the time, but I am so very grateful I did it. I was at the very extreme end with hyperemesis, very unwell, hospitalised several times. My daughter is 16 now and I don't regret a second of it.

That's my experience, take from that what you want, but this is your experience and your life and you must do what's right for you.

Op- I am currently 24 weeks into my 2nd HG pregnancy. I understand how you feel.
What you are experiencing isn’t “normal” pregnancy sickness and fatigue, it’s far more debilitating and I know a lot of women with Hg who have admitted that they have considered termination.
If it helps, I am part of a group on Facebook called “Hyperemesis Gravidarum and pregnancy sickness (uk group)”, it is full of understanding women and there are often posts from ladies in your situation. You would receive non-judgemental support from them, whatever you decide to do.
Take care.

Honestly, if those who describe this as “feeling a bit crap” could please imagine, eg having food poisoning for months - plus medication for it making you drowsy and full of brain fog - and on top of that people expecting you to be happy and stop whinging you have food poisoning because it means your body is fighting a bug - you might get close to what having HG is like.

I’ll be kind and assume you have just never heard of it but perhaps you could read some stories of what it’s like.

I'm confused because the op hasn't said that she has HG, she said she feels tired, sick and generally rubbish that's not HG.

Pregnancy isn't a walk in the park op.

Sickness is a good sign in pregnancy it indicates the baby is developing as they should be

Not true. I had HG last year and I started to miscarry days before the sickness started to calm down.

“In hell”, signed off work and taking medication is not an ordinary situation. I was exactly the same at 8 weeks and had HG on my sick note.