Page 6 | Neighbours and dogs

GenevaL · 23/07/2020 18:41

I’m really glad to see the overwhelming number of people on here saying that dogs should never be left alone in distress for even an hour, never mind a day, rather than agreeing with OP.

Tottie · 23/07/2020 18:43

Hahaha

Spidey66 · 23/07/2020 18:46

If you do want to do things for your child that you can’t with that the dog eg swimming or cinema (when fully reopened) you need to work up to leaving the dog for a couple of hours, or leave the dog with your partner or the other way round.

You wouldn’t do it to a child, shouldn’t with a dog.

My dog isn’t particularly anxious, but I’d view her as similar to a 10 or 11 year old, so ok to leave while I’m shopping or in the gym or occasional trip to cinema, pub or restaurant but I wouldn’t leave her longer than about 2-3 hours. I’ve only done it for all day once and although there weren’t any issues I’m not really sure I should have and probably wouldn’t do it again.

KaptainKaveman · 23/07/2020 19:11

YABU and you know it.
I pity your neighbours.

cheeriocheerio · 23/07/2020 19:36

Honestly I'd get rid of it this is why I would never have a dog! How can you possibly live a normal life and never go out for the day?! If you take the dog out and leave it in the car you'll get arrested for cruelty

Shannith · 23/07/2020 19:37

If you've only been out two days in 5 months, how was it not feasible to get a dog sitter?

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 23/07/2020 19:48

Your poor dog. Oh, and you've treated yourself to a lockdown puppy, how wonderful

We have a rescue who had bad separation anxiety. We resolved it by researching how to fix it, working hard to gain her trust, ensuring that she was never left alone for longer than she could cope with (so not at all for the first six months) and sorting a dog sitter who she adores.

"We're entitled to days out" FFS.

WhatevsTrevs · 23/07/2020 19:53

You say you’ve only been on 2 days out in 5 months - admittedly that’s because of lockdown no doubt, but the dog isn’t going to understand that. So even if your dog didn’t previously have separation anxiety, they will experience it now at some level, most pets will.

If your dog has been carrying on like this for over a year, surely you can understand where your neighbours are coming from, to a degree? You say their dog barks too - the majority of dogs do but be honest, is it to the extent your dog is barking? Swap dog for DIY and then reverse the situation, how would you feel?

IMO I think you’ve done what a lot of people do when they get a pet - they get the pet they want, without thinking of ALL the factors. Time you want to spend out of the house, behavioural problems, environment...you didn’t consider these kind of issues when you got your dog and you still haven’t learnt, which is why you’ve bought another dog. That is being selfish and that isn’t going to change by just saying that people haven’t read your post properly.

Hoppinggreen · 23/07/2020 20:01

My dog doesn’t have separation anxiety and if we are going to be out for longer than 4 Hours he goes to one of his much loved dog sitters for the day. If his sitters aren’t available we don’t go ( unlikely as we book in advance, you can’t be spontaneous when you have a dog)
The options for OP are
Don’t go out
Take the dog with you
Get a sitter

It’s that simple

Daisychains20 · 23/07/2020 20:33

@Mybad90 hey! Don’t worry I have been there as well, neighbours complained about my dog barking and crying even though their dog did the same as we have recordings of it and it was actually worse then our dog! A leaf in the garden sets their dog off

Anyway, I read you are seeing a specialist that’s great as hopefully they will be able get to the root of the problem and hopefully help you find a way to leave the house for a couple of hours at a time - they recommend the most being 4 hours. Anything longer and you will need a dog sitter or a day centre.

We use to walk our dog for around 45 minutes before we went out and leave treat mats etc out and it did help a lot for short periods of time 2 hours was our max.

Unfortunately our dog has got worse over the last couple of years and we are now unable to leave her at all. Think it’s because she has got older and panics when she isn’t sitting by someone, she was hand reared so loves human contact. We now have someone with her 24 hours a day either us her family or we pay a day centre - yes unfortunately it costs us a fortune but it’s worth it so she isn’t stressed. We can go out happily
Knowing she is fine. Most of the time she is with family though only big days out like seaside etc then she goes to day centre. It’s hard going, actually worse then having kids as it’s always sorting the dog sitter before the kids but she is worth it

See what the specialist says and go from there. Good luck.

SoloMummy · 23/07/2020 23:42

@Mybad90

So we have a 1 year old dog that we have had since a puppy and we have recently welcomed a new pup into our family. I am home most days with our dogs but obviously we go on family days out because we have a 3 year old child. Our 1 year old dog suffers with separation anxiety and he barks and yelps and cries the whole time we’re gone. I always have checked in with the neighbours to ask how he has been and kept them in the loop with the new things we are trying so they’re aware that we’re not ignoring the behaviour. Up to now we have tried plug ins that release a pheromone, trying different rooms in the house, blinds closed/open, tv on, radio on and now we have booked a animal behaviourist after asking for advice at the vets. We NEVER leave him on a night time and it’s nots everyday just whenever we go out for the day or an hour here and there when we go shopping or to my mums etc..

Neighbours had a party a few weeks ago late at night in their back garden (my sons bedroom is at the back) and he was woken by them all shrieking and shouting. Now I don’t care for them having a party here and there because it’s just one of them things but had it been me I would have atleast messaged to let them know and I would be trying to keep the party from screaming etc but they didn’t bother mentioning anything to us. So since this I haven’t really bothered checking in with them about the dog when we go out and I’ve stopped trying to organise a dog sitter every time we go out because it’s just not feasible.

I have been for a couple of days out this week with my child as we’ve been in lockdown for around 4 months and I’ve had a pissy message from them saying it’s ridiculous and needs sorting out because they can’t listen to it everyday. I’m not really sure what they want us to do? We are trying to sort something out?! There’s not much more I can do atm until we’ve atleast seen an animal behaviourist and tried different things out, obviously it’s not going to be an overnight bloody thing?! I appreciate that it can be annoying but their dog barks every time they go out as well! Not to mention that their kids are up all night playing video games and you can hear them very loud and clearly through my sons bedroom wall.. of course I’ve never raised an issue about any of it because I’m sure they could be doing worse things and I’m not going to pick at every single household noise...

AIBU? I’m on edge everytime I have to leave the house now.. thanks guys.

Yabvu. Your dog, your responsibility. So your choices are: Dog sitter Take the dog with you Don't go out

You chose to have the dog your issue.

SoupDragon · 23/07/2020 23:57

Oh gosh poor you OP. I don't think it's bad going out 2 days in 3 months. What are you supposed to do if you need shopping?

They've been out for the day twice in a week. Going out for the day is not not the same as going out for shopping.

Nanny0gg · 24/07/2020 01:07

@joan04

I can’t stay in every single day with a 3 year old we are entitled to go on days out.

Not if you are leaving your dog home all day. When you got your dog you obviously didn't realise what you were signing up for. It's incredibly cruel and selfish leaving a dog at home if you are having days out and yes that includes one or two here and there.

Would you consider giving the dog up? You obviously aren't in a position to be a dog owner.

Give it up? They've got another one!

vanillandhoney · 24/07/2020 08:56

@cheeriocheerio

Honestly I'd get rid of it this is why I would never have a dog! How can you possibly live a normal life and never go out for the day?! If you take the dog out and leave it in the car you'll get arrested for cruelty

You pay for care, the same way you do with small children.

Of course dog owners go on days out, but they either take their dog with them or arrange a walker, sitter or daycare so the dogs needs are still being met. You don't just do what OP does and leave them home when they're clearly very anxious and distressed.

AmberShadesofGold · 24/07/2020 10:24

Honestly I'd get rid of it this is why I would never have a dog! How can you possibly live a normal life and never go out for the day?! If you take the dog out and leave it in the car you'll get arrested for cruelty

This is a fair point of view and one I wish more people would consider before getting a dog.

It's not morally wrong to want the freedom to go out when you want and for all day, if you want. In fact, it's understandable. But it is often incompatible with dog ownership. Dogs are a great tie and will often fundamentally change the way you life your life to give them what they need. Exactly what those needs are will vary by dog and so any potential owner would do well to consider if they could cope with an especially needy dog before getting one. Because it could happen. In this case, the dog needs not to be left until feels comfortable, via patient and consistent training.

I can well understand how, for many people, the compromise is not worth the pay off. Which is fine. A permanent dog pet is not for them.

Kiddies20 · 19/08/2020 09:49

Hi I was wanting some advice please
I’m new on here so no idea if I have put on the right place
I had 2 dogs and I had to get a family member to take them on a few years ago for personal reasons
I was still seeing them but they moved a year ago and was unable to see them but got updates
A few weeks ago some one sent me pictures of the dogs with really bad concerns Over one.
Once I seen the pictures I was gutted she looks really bad you can see all her ribs etc
Totally different from before and they said she not got no energy
I asked them to return the dog or I would report to rspca
They refused and blocked me
Then reported me to police for harassment and police told me not to contact them again. I tried to explain to the police why and they said I had to do through a third party which I did and they said they won’t discuss it
I had no option to contact rspca as I am so worried about the dog.
I was told they were going out the next day and they would contact me with a update which they never.
I phoned them again and was told they were investigating it so can’t update
I then phoned again yesterday to ask for a update and was told they busy and they pass message on and if they can will get in touch with me
Any ideas if there is anything else I can do as I worried nothing is been done and can’t stop thinking of the dog living like that
Thank m just worried if rspca delay going it will be to late for the dog as she really bad
Any advice would be very great full

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 19/08/2020 10:02

Read the thread people.

I appreciate that it can be annoying but their dog barks every time they go out as well! Not to mention that their kids are up all night playing video games and you can hear them very loud and clearly through my sons bedroom wall.

Tell the neighbours that their dog is barking and that they need to tell the kids to keep it down too. Why are you the one trying to be quite when they obviously don't care about doing so.
I make Dd turn her xbox off by 9pm as there are kids in the houe next door and are in bed.

Home42 · 19/08/2020 10:06

I’m a single parent and a dog owner and I think you are being unreasonable. We take the dog to days out! If I can’t take him I arrange a sitter. He doesn’t like being left so I don’t leave him. You say you’ve been on 2 days out this week. For 2 days your poor dog has been incredibly distressed. How is that reasonable? Make a picnic, take dog with you, go to an outdoor place.

ClickandForget · 19/08/2020 10:08

this isn’t something in my control and I’m trying very hard to find a solution

Well it is in your control. It's your dog.

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 19/08/2020 10:10

I think you're going to be really disappointed when the behaviourist explains that you cannot just leave your dog if you want to fix this. Like, at all. You'll have to address the anxiety and build up to him being left in tiny increments. You're not "entitled" to abandon an anxious, vulnerable animal that you chose to home.

HasaDigaEebowai · 19/08/2020 10:13

I have been for a couple of days out this week with my child as we’ve been in lockdown for around 4 months

This contradicts your later statement about having been out a couple of times in 5 months. Your couple of times in 5 months is actually a couple of times in one week.

custardbear · 19/08/2020 10:20

Sorry but you shouldn't have a dog. Comments like

We're entitled to days out

Make you sound entitled and you're clearly thinking tit for tat, even though it sounds like you're regularly going out and leaving them all day with noise and you're ignoring it - one party and dogs that woof a bit (not the same as a distressed dog barking constantly)

Get the dog help - respect people and animals and stop just thinking about yourself