To tell people that my twins are five?

[lukasiak]

Even though they technically don't turn five until November?

Dh is in a right hump about it. He thinks by me telling everybody that they are already five that it makes people place age inappropriate expectations on them. I think it's all just semantics, and those who actually need to know their real age know it. It's a bad habit I picked up from my mother, and my older children have survived me rounding their age up once their birthdays drew close with out being labelled as having additional needs, as seems to be DH's primary concern.

Is it really that big of a deal?

Strange. Just say 'nearly 5'...

Quite great logic for parents actually, if you really believe you are not lying when you lie about children's age. You can say dc is age x to avoid charge, or say y so they could be doing something that isn't age appropriate. No guilty conscience there, if you can truly believe yourself.

Your husband is completely right... stop it.. I'd think you a bit of a tit saying that

My mum does this but rounds up as soon as your birthday passes so always a year ahead so my dd who is 18 in Dec has been called 18 since Jan! It doesn't hurt but can get confusing 😂

Yabu! I agree with your dh.

November is a while away yet. Either say they're 4 or 4.5.

Imagine everyone did what you are suggesting. Everyone would be a year older than they actually.

I've never heard of anyone doing this rounding up. It is daft.
Just say their age, which is 4. They are not 5 yet. November is ages away anyway, and even if they turn 5 in August, they're still 4 right now.

They aren't 5, they're 4 and a half so just say that. A few months can make a huge difference in a young child's development so I wouldn't be saying they were older than what they are.

I think I'm with your DH. My DD is 8 in November but I still say shes 7. I probably would start saying 'almost 8' if someone asked in october...

How very odd. If someone asks how old they are, then they're 4. I'm with your DH here, and how confusing for them. They hear you saying they're 5 so surely on their next birthday they'd think they were turning 6.

I have never heard of anyone doing this before, and totally with your DH on this one.

You do realise when someone asks how old they are, they don't care that much, so the correct age is fine

I'm with your dh, I'm afraid. That is, I wouldn't be so worried that people would label your children as having additional needs (unless it's someone like a doctor or teacher, who would presumably have to know the exact age anyway). But I would worry about their being pressurized with inappropriate age-expectations and judged or criticized for being 'babyish' if they don't meet them: 'A big child like you shouldn't cry/ should be able to read/ button your coat properly/ etc.' - or the same thoughts conveyed more subtly without words. Of course such attitudes can be expressed and be damaging anyway, but why add to the risk? Usually, ages are rounded down rather than up.

I'm with your DH, they aren't 5. I would say they are 4. Not because the perception of their development, but because they are 4.
In October I'd say they were nearly 5.
I don't know anyone who says they are 5 when they are 4 and 8 months

Why on earth would you want to lie about your children’s age and then expect your DH to collude with you?
It’s beyond weird.
My grandfather always said he was a year older than he actually was and it caused a lot of confusion when he needed to confirm his age by showing his passport or birth certificate.
Poor kids, one sure way to start fucking their minds up 😡

Why don't you say they are 16? - because they are not of course!
Just like they are not 5.

What other things like this do you do?

Even though they technically don't turn five until November

Technically? What a strange thing to say. They don't turn five until November, which makes them four and a half.

And no to those saying they're nearly five. They're not nearly five for at least a couple of months yet.

Will you give them a happy 6th birthday card on their 5th birthday?

@lukasiak you do realise that it's impossible to skate before you can walk but that's the least of your problems

Sorry, but weird.

I only round up in th emonth before, and even then not always. I'd usually say they are nearly 5 rathe than say they are 5.

The thing is they really aren't 5.
As a teacher I am often amazed by how a child grows and develops in a few months. Suddenly they turn a corner with something they have struggled with. You see clear patterns in this too.

So in reception you know that the ones who are just 4 are very different than the ones who are 5 in September.
Obviously not always, we don't box or stereotype, but putting 4 /5 months on to their age does change people's expectations.

@upsidedownwavylegs
Twins is lie on Mumsnet
I have twins why is that lying?

I'm a size 8.

I mean, I'm not but I will be in 3.5 months time

I think its a great idea OP.

They can start driving earlier, voting earlier, smoking earlier, drinking and nightclubbing earlier and the big prize of getting their pensions earlier.

I mean, birthdays are just a movable feast right, like Easter.

You absolute fruitcake.

I'm not lying; to me they are 5,

That is like the person who says - I am the Queen, and because they believe it, it must be true.

No, it is a delusion. It is not fact, it is not true.

Your kids are not 5, they are 4. You are lying. just because you think it to be true, that does not make it true

I don't think there's much difference in how you'd expect 4 and 5 year olds to behave but I think your rounding up behaviour is strange. I would say that a child who is 5 in November is 4 or "5 later this year"
Rounding up is from the month before imho. My son's birthday is in August and I say he's almost 14.

Do you add a year to your own age OP? That'll lose its charm one day.

If your children believe that they are 5 now,how old are they going to be on their birthday ?

I do the same as you OP. I round up as soon as I move closer to the next birthday, so after six months, because I'm closer to that age by then.