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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving a baby alone to go to the shop

138 replies

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm · 21/07/2020 23:27

So my step dad was babysitting my baby a little while ago whilst I worked. He dropped her off and left her formula behind at his and my mums house, my mum was at work and I couldn't get hold of him. At 9.55pm I needed formula for the next feed, the shop shut at 10pm. WIBU to run over to get the milk without her? Obviously didn't have time to get her in pushchair or baby carrier. The shop is about 30 secs away and I tined myself at 3 mins. I was back by 2259. I even grabbed the formula, gave the shop assistant the money and waved the milk at her and said keep the change so I didn't need to queue. Still mad at myself for it.

OP posts:
RedRumTheHorse · 21/07/2020 23:30

Why are you posting this?

Burpalot · 21/07/2020 23:34

Don't post this shit op. You were gone three minutes. You decided it was fine for you and your baby. Why bother involving the internet in a past decision

LouiseTrees · 21/07/2020 23:34

This is going to be controversial but it sounds like you are just over the road from a shop which might actually be closer than if someone had to run upstairs to get something in a 3 floor townhouse. I would never do it myself though, far too worried that something would happen as they are quick when they learn to roll, crawl,climb and I hope yours isn’t at that age that they would have been a danger to themselves. Have more of a stock of formula and don’t do it again!

IAintentDead · 21/07/2020 23:37

You did it, your baby is fine.

You are unlikely to get validation on here though

Sally872 · 21/07/2020 23:38

Obviously it isn't ideal but sounded like no other option and very quick.

Enough4me · 21/07/2020 23:39

You feel enough guilt so already punishing yourself. Give yourself a break.

Chocoholic12 · 21/07/2020 23:39

You only realised at 9:55 your dad had not brought babies milk back?

RedRumTheHorse · 22/07/2020 00:21

OP you can get little containers or you could work out how to make your own, and decant baby milk into them. That way you never need to give anyone a whole box of formula.

Original poster
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm · 22/07/2020 00:26

@Chocoholic12 no. She was dropped off just after 9.45. I was working till 9.

OP posts:
Raimona · 22/07/2020 00:26

Why do you need a pushchair or baby carrier? Surely you can just carry the baby?

Original poster
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm · 22/07/2020 00:27

@LouiseTrees the couldnt stand/pull themselves up, thet could just roll.

OP posts:
SheWhoWillNotPutUpWithYourShit · 22/07/2020 00:32

There's a total lack of logic in most of these posts that I find concerning.

Two options

Take baby.

Leave baby.

The risks of leaving the baby are that you have an accident of some sort and no one knows that you have left baby at home for potentially a few hours.

Should the same accident occur while holding the baby you have certain tragedy on your hands. Either you drop the baby during your heart attack or you're both hit by a car.

Risk of taking baby in push chair is you don't make it and baby goes without milk.

Carry the baby and run to shop. Risk dropping the baby while you try the door one handed.

Meanwhile if you lived in a house with large garden it would take you just as long or longer to walk back and forth and put washing out and no one would find you if you had a heart attack. Because you're at home alone.

But presumably no one thinks you can't walk to the garden for three minutes?

Long story short yanbu but keep a spare tin for next time Grin

SleepingStandingUp · 22/07/2020 00:32

Don't ever give someone your whole l box, you can buy proper decanters so you can even portion it out. What if you'd gone to do the feed and realised at 10.05a. Or use liquid / keep a few for emergencies

SheWhoWillNotPutUpWithYourShit · 22/07/2020 00:36

Why do you need a pushchair or baby carrier? Surely you can just carry the baby

Carrying a baby is always more risky than a bAby lying safely in a crib though. Even if you aren't in a rush or trying to unlock a door that needs two hands. So why carry it? Why do the riskier thing?

OwlBeThere · 22/07/2020 00:46

I used to live literally across the street from my local shop. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t once or twice leave my then 2 under 2’s asleep. I was further away at the bottom of my garden.

FrenchEnglish · 22/07/2020 04:28

It's really not ideal as you know so just learn from this and always have spare formula handy in future. But it's done now and the baby is fine so there's not a whole lot of point fretting about it at this stage. I'm not sure what you're looking for here? Validation that what you did was so perfectly okay that you could make a habit of it? Or that you could do the same thing if it was wine or chocolate you'd run out of? Of course not. But you already know that so I'm not sure what you're looking for.

BrowncoatWaffles · 22/07/2020 04:42

Name change fail OP?

MrsAJ27 · 22/07/2020 05:07

It's done now and your baby is fine, just don't make a habit of it!

PurpleFlower1983 · 22/07/2020 05:36

I wouldn’t have done it but in future remember to always have a least one tub/some bottles of formula spare at home.

BarbaraofSeville · 22/07/2020 05:42

^The risks of leaving the baby are that you have an accident of some sort and no one knows that you have left baby at home for potentially a few hours.

Should the same accident occur while holding the baby you have certain tragedy on your hands. Either you drop the baby during your heart attack or you're both hit by a car^

You forgot that the house will spontaneously combust while you are out at the shop and you will forever have to live with the trauma that you should have taken the baby with you Smile

The fact that the statistical odds of one house bursting into flames during a defined 3 minute window will be in the region of 1 in several million, possibly more, is obviously irrelevant.

Boomclaps · 22/07/2020 05:50

@SheWhoWillNotPutUpWithYourShit

There's a total lack of logic in most of these posts that I find concerning.

Two options

Take baby.

Leave baby.

The risks of leaving the baby are that you have an accident of some sort and no one knows that you have left baby at home for potentially a few hours.

Should the same accident occur while holding the baby you have certain tragedy on your hands. Either you drop the baby during your heart attack or you're both hit by a car.

Risk of taking baby in push chair is you don't make it and baby goes without milk.

Carry the baby and run to shop. Risk dropping the baby while you try the door one handed.

Meanwhile if you lived in a house with large garden it would take you just as long or longer to walk back and forth and put washing out and no one would find you if you had a heart attack. Because you're at home alone.

But presumably no one thinks you can't walk to the garden for three minutes?

Long story short yanbu but keep a spare tin for next time Grin

This
Heronsnest · 22/07/2020 06:00

SheWhoWillNotPutUpWithYourShit

This too.
It's done now. You're home, baby safe and fed. Don't beat yourself up and equally, keep a spare tin at home and at DM's house.

jessstan2 · 22/07/2020 06:17

@Burpalot

Don't post this shit op. You were gone three minutes. You decided it was fine for you and your baby. Why bother involving the internet in a past decision
I quite agree. You'll only get criticism for leaving your baby for three minutes. As things turned out well, no problem. Make sure you have more than one packet of formula in cupboard at all times!

You could have phoned stepdad and told him to bring it over, yes? Or maybe warm cows milk and give that to your baby, she'll be having that soon enough - well, formula is basically cows milk.

Alls well that ends well. Hope you got some sleep.

(Just seen your mum couldn't get hold of him)

HogDogKetchup · 22/07/2020 06:23

I floated this idea with my DH. We used to live directly opposite a corner shop. I asked him if he would have left sleeping baby and nipped literally across the road to the shop if we still lived there. The baby monitor would deffo not have lost signal (actually the lounge was probably further distance wise if baby was at the back of the house). DH said no, but given it’s usually me in running out of milk or essentials. I think I would have done in this situation.

Cherrycolaxx · 22/07/2020 06:47

If baby was locked in the house safe in the pram and your shop is literally seconds away, technically it's no different to putting the bin out, being in the garden etc.

I used to be left in the car when my parents nipped in the shop as a little girl. About different. But no worse than what you did.

It's not like you went out for tea in a foreign country and left your kids sleeping in a hotel room, checking on them when you or a friend remembered you were parents. Iyswim!