Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving a baby alone to go to the shop

138 replies

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm · 21/07/2020 23:27

So my step dad was babysitting my baby a little while ago whilst I worked. He dropped her off and left her formula behind at his and my mums house, my mum was at work and I couldn't get hold of him. At 9.55pm I needed formula for the next feed, the shop shut at 10pm. WIBU to run over to get the milk without her? Obviously didn't have time to get her in pushchair or baby carrier. The shop is about 30 secs away and I tined myself at 3 mins. I was back by 2259. I even grabbed the formula, gave the shop assistant the money and waved the milk at her and said keep the change so I didn't need to queue. Still mad at myself for it.

OP posts:
mummyslittlenightmare · 22/07/2020 12:25

My 8 month old cries screams in the pushchair, so I have to carry her most of the time anyway. So I would've just carried her to the shop with me.

But it's done now, baby is safe and fed.
No big deal - probably would've kept it to myself though.

dododotheconga · 22/07/2020 12:26

@BarbaraofSeville so protecting the cases is the first priority? No sorry. That wouldn't ever be my approach. Presumably the PP who told this story also had the option of talking to the car hire people and explaining the problem. Perhaps they could have helped?

HugeAckmansWife · 22/07/2020 12:27

Yes suitcases can't get themselves off the lift can they? It really wasn't possibly to carry the suitcase up 7 flights. I was pretty pleased that I got us all via train and hire car to the East of France and back again. It was stressful at the time but you simply can't plan for every eventuality

Crunchymum · 22/07/2020 12:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it referenced a namechange fail.

LagunaBubbles · 22/07/2020 12:33

OP you have name changed 3 tknes now on this thread so no-obe can see any of your posts other than the original highlighted. Why are you doing this?Confused

sbhydrogen · 22/07/2020 12:40

If the baby is in the cot then YANBU. I take longer than three minutes on the toilet.

dododotheconga · 22/07/2020 12:43

@sbhydrogen the toilet analogy is nonsense. On the toilet you are still in the same house. You can still hear. You would rush if you heard your child cry or choke or whatever. Being out of the house affords got none of those protections. It is completely different.

dododotheconga · 22/07/2020 12:45

I will also add that I don't buy the three minutes, however close the shop. It is highly likely that a parent would reduce the time taken in order to improve perception of their decision.

Xmasbaby11 · 22/07/2020 12:51

I wouldn't have felt comfortable doing it. But it's done now. Be better organised in future.

FlamedToACrisp · 22/07/2020 12:54

I would have grabbed the baby and carried it across to the shop.

What would you have done if you had only noticed you had no formula after the shop closed?

RaisinGhost · 22/07/2020 13:01

These threads always go exactly the same way. OP you should never leave the baby! You could be hit by a car! You should have brought it with you in a sling! So you can both die together?

cuntryclub · 22/07/2020 13:04

@RaisinGhost

These threads always go exactly the same way. OP you should never leave the baby! You could be hit by a car! You should have brought it with you in a sling! So you can both die together?

I don't really go in for the 'so you would both die' argument. If this is the rational for leaving a baby home alone then surely it would apply all day, not just when you need milk Confused

Beautiful3 · 22/07/2020 13:09

It was an emergency. You did it and it was fine. But I would not think about doing it again. I would learn from this, and always keep a spare tin of formula in.

PumpkinP · 22/07/2020 13:31

These threads always go exactly the same way. OP you should never leave the baby! You could be hit by a car! You should have brought it with you in a sling! So you can both die together?

That makes NO sense, maybe we should all just leave our kids inside then incase they get hurt outside? It’s never safer to leave a baby home alone.

dododotheconga · 22/07/2020 13:39

Totally agree @PumpkinP. It is always safer for a baby to be with a caring adult. There are no circumstances where that does not apply.

zaffa · 22/07/2020 14:34

I live directly opposite the local shop. It is the same distance from my front door to the shops door as it is from my front door to the back of my garden, I can actually see the shop floor very clearly from my daughters window. (I once watched DH walk around it to make sure he bought the Easter egg I had spied on the end of a display shelf - I was pregnant in my defence Blush)
I just couldn't bring myself to do this though, I would have taken her with me in the sling or the pram (because if she was awake she would be in one or the other most likely or it would be easily accessible). If she had been asleep I would have scooped her up and carried her asleep I think, but it's unlikely I would have been in this situation because DH is at home also so one of us could go to 24 hour shop and also I am obsessive about back up formula - however I'm also very aware that not everyone has either of these options (especially being able to buy multiple tins of formula given its current price!) so I don't think it's fair to judge by my own circumstances.
For me it's one risk too many, but I take risks in other places I'm sure that people would disagree with. It's what you personally are comfortable with OP, and if you have to wait until payday to stock up then there isn't very much that you can do about that I don't think.
I would suggest getting one of the formula divider things and if you are sending your formula tub back and forth, keep it filled up (I think it holds three servings) at all times just j case.

Holyrivolli · 22/07/2020 15:22

You’re wrong Dodo. It is statistically much safer to leave the baby for 2 minutes in a warm, safe cot with no obvious or apparent dangers than it is to pick it up, carry it down the stairs, across a road (presumably) and into a shop. It is considerably more likely to get harmed with its mother than in the cot in this scenario.

Holyrivolli · 22/07/2020 15:25

That’s not to say that therefore we should leave them in their cots all the time but that is the reality. Of course there are other considerations like happiness, socialisation etc so we do take them out but if you’re looking at it from a safety angle and the risk of physical harm then she did the right thing

dododotheconga · 22/07/2020 16:06

Do you have those statistics that you refer to, @Holyrivolli? Again, I suspect social services would be more concerned about a child left in a cot alone than a child taken to a shop with its mother, wouldn't you agree?

HugeAckmansWife · 22/07/2020 17:36

dodo re the suitcase thing. It wasn't the safety of the cases but the physical actuality of moving them. The car park was not all that close to the car rental place and they were very busy with only two staff and a queue of customers, so no, I didn't ask for them for help. I did actually try and drag my DS into the lift but the hysterical screaming made me choose a different option. I have since then been actively working on his claustrophia but this is the point. Dynamic decision making is required, not blanket rules. I agree with the pp about liklihood of safe cot vs road etc. It doesn't need stats, it's common sense.

dododotheconga · 22/07/2020 18:02

@Holyrivolli stated that there are statistics and I would be interested to read them if indeed they exist.
Re the lift, I still wouldn't have made the choice you did. You were very very lucky in that situation.

ClareBlue · 22/07/2020 18:33

Calling BS on this. Posted it twice for attention. Described a door that is impossible to open with a baby in arms, even though she uses it every day, didn't realise had no milk till 4 minutes before shop closed, 1st floor flat to the shop, collect the milk, pay and back in 180 seconds, but the main BS is the answer to everything in a logical sequence and the post is meaningless just to get reactions and conflict between posters.

copperoliver · 22/07/2020 18:50

You should not have left her. You should have just carried her. She could have choked. X

sqirrelfriends · 22/07/2020 19:14

@copperoliver

You should not have left her. You should have just carried her. She could have choked. X
By that logic, OP could never sleep or ever be in another room. It's not like her DD's cot would have any choking hazards in it.
dododotheconga · 22/07/2020 19:18

By that logic, OP could never sleep or ever be in another room

Babies under 6 months are supposed to sleep in the room you're in for exactly this reason. The point is that any issue has a much greater chance of being dealt with quickly.