AIBU to not invite the teetotal vegan?

[CyanSnake]

I know the title sounds horrible; but I’m not sure how else to phrase it? Also sorry for basically giving my life story but I don’t want to dripfeed.

Every so often I host dinner parties and games evenings for my groups of friends. We normally also use these to raise a bit of money for local charities. Call it twee if you want, but I normally have some sort of theme, for example at new year I threw one that was Italian - with homemade pasta etc.

There is a small group of 6-8 whom I invite although most often not, not all attend due to work and other commitments. Most of these friends have no dietary requirements apart from one who is a teetotal vegan. Now, this normally isn’t an issue as soft drink is always an option and I normally make a vegan version of dishes that I need to. Last time I hosted; just before lockdown, I challenged myself and cooked everything vegan. We also made the night alcohol free and made virgin cocktails etc...

Now; to get to the point. I’ve been dabbling in old recipes from the form of cury, which is a medieval cookbook - it’s been sort of my lockdown hobby. And, I’d like to host (appropriately socially distanced and in the garden!) a sort of medieval banquet themed dinner. The problem is veganism didn’t really exist then; and frankly I know it’s harsh but I just can’t be bothered to create vegan versions of each course. This is compounded by the fact that this friend is a bit flaky and sometimes backs out at the last minute citing “headache” or a “cold”. I know I could just invite her and explain that there might not be a lot of food she can eat, but if I do I’ll feel utterly compelled to either faff about trying to make stuff vegan or ill feel guilty all night and it’ll be ruined anyway...

So; would you invite her and try to adapt; or not invite her and cite the guidelines on number of people you can have in the garden?

YABU - Invite the vegan friend
YANBU - Don’t invite the vegan friend.

I feel awful just asking!

I’ve changed my mind.
As a vegetarian who regularly cooks historical recipes, with dishes to suit everyone, she doesn’t sound accommodating, flexible appreciative or particularly pleasant.
Roast away!

Whether or not friend is rude/annoying/whatever...

I disagree that cooking a couple of vegan dishes would be difficult to do due to the theme!

Couple of veggie/potato/mushroom based stews using a vegetable stock base rather than a meat stock base.
Vegan bread (if you make your own, not hard to do, even easier if you go for an unlevened type).

Boring perhaps, but vegan, and to be fair, a medieval vegan would have had a pretty boring and limited diet so that'd be absolutely accurate :D

Vegan bread (if you make your own, not hard to do, even easier if you go for an unlevened type).

Most shop bought bread is vegan.

There was plenty of medieval vegan food (or that could easily be, and still be authentic). They used almond milk more often than animal milk, for a start. And they wouldn't have eaten most animal products during Lent.

And there's always vegetable pottage.

I’d invite her but give a heads up that you’re unable to make a vegan alternative for every course. Just cook her one nice main meal and suggest she’s welcome to provide extra. A few soft drinks aren’t hard to do.

Will people please stop suggesting potatoes for a 14C feast.
Not available, even from Waitrose.

A lot of vegans missing this part of the OP
"frankly I know it’s harsh but I just can’t be bothered to create vegan versions of each course. "

It is a ballache to do extra dishes, sorry but it is. Many courses taste better with more than just veg stock as a base.

Is “have you thought about pottage?” the new “cancel the cheque”?

even the meat-eaters won't want every mouthful to be meat, eggs or dairy. if it's a banquet there will be a variety of dishes because it's not a banquet if there's just one dish. so there can be something vegan that is a side dish that fits with your theme and will still be eaten if she doesn't come. for example roasted cauliflower steaks so she can have that, and let her know she's welcome to supplement it with something she brings along herself if she wants. so if she's actually a friend, her being vegan & teatotal is not an issue. if in fact the main issue is that she's a judgemental bitchy killjoy then it's not her vegan teatotalness that is the issue, is it?

OP maybe you can find a turnip shaped like a thingy
That on a plate. Job done!

Invite her but let her know this weeks theme cannot be adapted to her needs so she can bring something if she wants to attend.

I'd invite her but explain you don't have time to make vegan alternatives but could get her in a vegan pizza or she could bring her own. I thought you were going to say she was judgy and hard work, but if she is good company I wouldn't leave her out but I wouldn't make alternative food either.

If you're such a good a good cook, work something out.

In medieval times they did have vegetable stews. And they did like spice when they could get their hands on it. Would a vegetable curry work?

Vegan friends that are flaky equals a ready meal from Cook or similar.

Just tell her your theme and to confirm if she is coming so you can make sure something vegan is available.

Hello OP, have just had a look on-line, & it does appear that there was actually quite a bit of vegan food in medieval times. Realise lot’s of work to do a vegan version of every course, but maybe you could do a couple of dishes everyone can eat. A few examples I found are mushroom pastry, Chyches (roasted chickpeas), lens at hordeo (lentils & barley), and pommesmoille (apple pudding).

I’d pray not to be invited.

I’d pray not to be invited

Me too

It depends if this woman is your friend or not. If so, invite her. To save yourself work, serve ready-made vegan food even if it doesn't fit the theme. After all, having a true friend around is more important than your theme, though it doesn't mean you want to research and prepare a dish for her.

If she's not a friend (sounds like she isn't), don't invite her.

I would honestly just buy a vegan ready meal or something.

Some sort of pearl barley and root veg casserole with bread? I went to a medieval banquet and we had that and there was a big piece of meat on the table too but she could enjoy the vegan bits. Also you could make that in advance so it’s not much extra work and would actually improve in flavour in a day or two.

Im a teetotal vegan, I'm so glad me friends aren't like this 😢

This is your friend, can't you just have a conversation with her, explain what you're planning to cook and ask what she would like to do about food? If it was me, I'd offer to bring something for myself, but it's easy enough to do a nice vegan ready meal for one.

I’m vegan, rarely drink, and am flaky with social arrangements due to complicated life circumstances.

I’d be gutted if a friend was thinking like this about me.

Invite her.

Have breads, some kind of soup and a veg stew ready. These things won’t go to waste among your other guests or can be frozen and reheated another time.

This makes you kind and inclusive, the kind of friend anyone would hope to have.

If you decide it’s too hard and you feel negative about her, well then you’re probably not a friend to her, so don’t pretend.

Name changed for this as it's very outing.
I studied medical cookery at Masters level and this included a full survey and translation of the Form of Cury!
So I'm loving your new hobby! ☺️

There are a few options you can choose. Granted a lot is meaty but the array of pungent sauces and fritters is mind boggling. For example you could have Frytours of Herbs with sawse verde or Gyngyger? All vegan.

You could make spiced wine using alcohol free wine as Tesco has a good selection.

I think it can be done fairly easily and without much fuss!

Ps excuse my spellings it's been a while! 😂