Comments turned off during Facebook group regarding meal times

[Stella8686]

I had just written my comment and by the time I sent it comments had turned off. So same question phrased differently

AIBU to not think family dinners are as important as the 'humble braggers' like to make out.

Someone asked if people's 4 yo sit at the table?

Then come all the humble brags. "Mine have since they were 9 months and sign please and thank you and finished. There are no electronics and we discus current affairs" etc

Is it only me who places no importance on these times? It's only the two of us here me and my 7 yo DD.

Last night I ate sanding up in the kitchen waiting for my online fitness class to start and cleaning up (martial arts) she was in front of the tv

We do sometimes eat together but tv is usually on

We have a really close bond and had a lovely chat last night while she was in the bath about boyfriends and what makes a good one! It came up because she was telling me who was boyfriend and girlfriend at her school! 7 year olds! She's never had one and isn't bothered but we had a good talk and I said it can be girlfriend and girlfriend.

Anyway I rambled a bit

AIBU to think family dinners are not of high importance?

Yes: UABI they are important
No: YANBI they are not important

They're important to me. They don't have to be important to you. Each to his own!

Every family does things differently. As long as your child is getting attention at other times, do what works for you.

It was important to us.

My SiL used to make a big deal about this and now her 3 Yr olds have worst table habits ever and never sit at a table. We do occasionally and when we do there is never an issue. We don't do it daily as a rule.

Not really sure what half your post is on about.

But YABU. Eating together as a family is the only time I really see my lot all together. We have teenagers who are mainly nocturnal. So dinner times are pretty sacred.

I think it also fosters healthy eating patterns. And table manners. If your child has never sat down to eat at the table, she’s going to appear pretty feral when she goes to a restaurant.

It’s not really humble bragging is it? Each to their own, I like family meal times at the table.

Just because you don’t see the value in it, it doesn’t mean that those that do are wrong.

I dunno. I have always placed great importance on family mealtimes. But I'm starting to think that maybe they put too much emphasis on food as the centre of the day, AND they provide a great tension point for all the irritations of the day to come out in a big row. So I'm changing my mind.

Well they’re important to us in the sense that we all enjoy it.
But if it’s not for you then that’s fine too!

It's one of my favourite times of day so it's important to me but that doesn't mean it has to be important for everyone.

They're really important to me, and we prioritise us all sitting down together each evening - DS is only 2, so that means that we eat at a much earlier time than the adults would otherwise choose. However, that doesn't mean I think everyone else has to do the same.

I don’t understand the beginning — why were you posting about mealtimes on a FB group? Who turned off comments?

For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s good to eat regularly while watching tv — I think it encourages mindless eating while you’re focused on something else, and means you’re less likely to know when you’re full.

Yabu. We've always eaten our evening meal as a family, and as far as possible all eating the same meal. We then tidy up as a family.

When we were younger, my parents would eat a late lunch/snack at the time we had our evening meal, so again we were all together.

They're important if it's the only time you all sit down together without being on separate individual devices, and it's important to sometimes eat at the table to ensure kids can use cutlery at the very least.

If there are only two of you and you spend lots of time actually talking to one another then no, obviously there's no need to eat together at the table every day.

Lots of children start school unable to use a knife and fork and unused to the dynamics of a normal conversation though, and those problems are often easily addressed by eating together at the table without the TV on several times per week from weaning age onwards. Equally with teens some families barely know one another and eating together around the table would help address that! In other families they talk loads so it's less important.

As a child I always found family meal times very difficult. Too many rules and I would end up so overwhelmed that I couldn't eat. In the end my mom has to relax and allow me to eat however I felt comfortable. I now enjoy eating on my own in my own space. My brother then is a snacker, could never sit down and eat a full meal. She used cut a burger (for example) in four and he would wonder over, have a quarter and then go about his business. Took him a while to eat it all but he was fed and there was no arguements.
You have to do what suits your family set up. There are no hard and fast rules , as long as the food is eaten who cares ?

I think for some families they’re the only time they all spend together so they’re important but actually for us bath time and bedtime are more important

We do sit down together for evening meal and always have done. (2 teens 2 pre-teens)
I can't say they have amazing table manners. Or that we have fantastic conversation. Usually the kids talk about intricate details of computer games they are playing and my husband and I have our own conversation. Useful, though, to get everyone together to explain the plan for tomorrow, or the jobs that need doing etc.

They do have to ask to leave, and aren't allowed to go till everyone has finished (not including people who have seconds or who are being ridiculously slow)
Eldest usually breathes in his food and spends the rest of the meal waiting impatiently to be allowed to leave.

But it is an important routine for us as a family. Breakfast and lunch are very relaxed with people eating whatever they want, wherever they want (usually in the places with the best wi-fi!)

It's really important to me that we all sit at the table, turn off devices and talk to each other - not every day but most days. I'm not 'humble bragging', just stating a fact.

If it's not important to you, that's ok. It sounds like you prefer other ways to connect with your DD, which is fine.

We sit down to eat as a family in the evenings, at the table, tv off. It gives the kids chance to learn good eating habits and table manners, focus on eating sensibly and not mindlessly, and I don't really like eating in front of the TV anyway. I find ds eats better when we all eat together too, and dh and I get a chance to catch up. Plus if I ever want to be able to take the kids out to eat, they need to know how to behave. Its important to me. Might not be for you.

Sorry I know my OP was a ramble! I have no adults to talk to!

I didn't enjoy mealtimes as a younger child. I quite enjoyed them as a teenager.

With it being just the two of us meal times aren't are only time to spend quality time together

What’s important to me is that my children get the nutrients in their dinner each day. Neither of my children have a strong appetite, which means I have to keep them at the table through whatever means I can.

I agree with the mindless eating comments. My diet struggles are mainly when watching something. I feel like I should be eating. That's what I was brought up with. Most people who have bad eating patterns have been conditioned to eat like that.

I think discussing current affairs and teaching critical thinking is the most important thing to do with children. More so now than ever, with the crackpot SM conspiracy theories and people not questioning were their information comes from and the agenda behind it.

It doesn't have to be dinner time, but in normal times, it fits in well with family life.

She's quite a slow eater too. I'm more of a grazer. I think she would be too but I try to stick to mealtimes for her.

YABU They are hugely important.

We do every day. We chat about our day. We did the same whilst growing up.

On the weekend DH and I 'treat' ourselves to dinners on our laps watching TV and the kids eat earlier.

As a teenager we moved to meals on laps every meal except Sunday lunch.

I've done both and I'm neither humble bragging nor complaining. It works for me.

Mixed feelings, we do eat together as a family at a table 6 days a week, sometimes it's nice, sometimes it is tense. I don't feel it is better than any other way but it works for us, forces the dc off screens and their chores are linked so one sets the table and the other sorts out drinks. So it's not just left to one person.