Would this annoy you, re. taking treats into work?

[Wecangosomewhere]

Don't know why this annoys me but it does. Sometimes at work, usually a couple of times a week, I or someone else will bring in some cookies or sweets or something for eveyone to share.

One co-worker though when she gets her share often says 'oh I 'll take it home for my daughter'

I feel like saying 'I'm bringing in things for us to have at work not to be taken home for children, if you want her to have treats buy them yourself'

I know it's only petty but it's annoying me!

@Pomegranatepompom

If you don’t want a piece - surely just leave for someone else in the office to enjoy later?

That's what I would have thought tbh.

Surely if she doesn't take any she then doesn't have to bring any in?

@Pomegranatepompom

If you don’t want a piece - surely just leave for someone else in the office to enjoy later?

I agree although I’ve worked with people who struggle to let people say no with a good grace. It’s as if they need everyone around them to down needless calories to justify their binging. It all comes down to what the behaviour is like in the office - if the treats are on the side for those who want a piece to go and help themselves when they want without being monitored, then fine. I’m guessing the OP does monitor since this colleague now has to concoct a story about what is happening to her piece.

I have questioned the hygiene practices of some of the people who bring bakes into my office. That would affect whether or not I actually ate items there and then....

I absolutely hate it when colleagues bring cakes in and expect other people to eat them. But then again I hate anyone using the word "treats" unless they're referring to pet treats. Who the hell wants to feel obliged to eat someone's manky baking efforts? Yuk

People who don't bring in cakes or sweets because they don't eat them could bring in other snacks instead. On rare occasions when I feel everyone needs a treat, and to be fair we're in the kind of job where everyone needs pampering more often than the average, or when there's an irresistible offer in the supermarket. I may bring in other stuff, like crisps, peanuts, non-salted nut mix (primarily for a colleague with dietary restrictions but it proved universally popular) and even sometimes fruit. It doesn't have to be unhealthy to be a treat - just something different. It's left on the table so everyone can help themselves when no-one else is looking (!) and if there's anything left after a day or two, taking the remains home for family or midnight snacking is acceptable on the grounds that it's better than leaving it to go stale.

I hate anyone using the word "treats" unless they're referring to pet treats

Er, why?

@NoMoreFlowers

I absolutely hate it when colleagues bring cakes in and expect other people to eat them. But then again I hate anyone using the word "treats" unless they're referring to pet treats. Who the hell wants to feel obliged to eat someone's manky baking efforts? Yuk

I hate the word "treats" as well. It is just food.

My mum and older siblings often use to bring me cakes, biscuits and other food from their office which colleagues had made or bought from abroad. When my mum died and they turned up to her funeral I knew some of their names partly because of it.

It really depends on the context. If you are leaving a tin on the side in the kitchen with the idea anyone can help themselves, then there is no need for this colleague to make up excuses. She could just not take a portion.

BUT, in your OP you talk about "her share" which implies you are going round distributing a portion to everybody, regardless of whether they might want it or not. In this scenario, I can totally understand her feeling the need to make an excuse up so as not to offend you. She is either not great at politely declining with confidence, or you are making it difficult for her to refuse.

I often refuse office treats. I don't diet or deny myself treats, but I do try and eat healthily and want my treats to be ones I choose for myself, to really enjoy them. Random cake twice a week at work really adds up on top of other treats I might want, and despite being slim, I can put weight on easily. Yet I get the ignorant "oh but you're so skinny" "you can afford to eat and never get fat" type comments, when that is rarely true for anyone.

I hate office cake culture, it's always driven by types that have looked up a recipe on bbc good food and now they say they're thinking of applying to go on great british bake off, but the cakes are very rarely nice either too dry or just taste manky

People are very weird about cake. I don't like cake, I don't like the texture of it and I don't like icing but when I worked in an office, seemingly full of bakers, they got hugely offended when I politely refused their offerings. Also, saying that you don't like cake is often met with shocked disbelief and a lot of "what, not x, y or z cake, not even lemon sponge!" What I want to know is, why aren't there more cheese boards in offices? .

When I worked I would often use a similar line. Another variation that I use at weddings and evening parties is ‘ Oh, what a delicious looking cake - I’m going to take my slice home to enjoy with a cup of coffee in the morning’.
The subtext is `I don’t much like cake and even if I did I don’t want to shovel it down now and get crumby and sticky at my desk/wearing a posh frock, but I don’t want to offend or look stand-offish by refusing a piece so I’ll take it home and either enjoy of it or dispose of it there’. I quite often find the desiccated remains wrapped in a napkin at the bottom of my handbag three days later.

Of course your colleague might be less devious than me, perhaps she really is taking it home for her daughter. Either way, it wouldn’t bother me - unless there’s a backstory here and the colleague is always a grabby CF and this is just one aspect of her greedy behaviour.

Depends on context. If you just leave the tin out, it’s a bit weird to take some home. However, if you pass around and she’d feel rude saying no (some people are pushy with what they bake!) it might be the best she can think of for declining.

I have a couple of food allergies. I have mentioned it in the past, and there is one lovely lady in my office who bakes and always lets me know if it’s something I can eat or not, and sometimes I’m sure she’s made something just so I can! But as I don’t make a fuss about my allergies, lots of people forget or don’t know if they haven’t been working with me long. I don’t like to make a fuss, so if something has deliberately been cut into the number of pieces for one each and it’s being passed around rather than just left on the side, I have been known to say “that looks delicious! Do you mind if I take it home for later?” And then my DH/DD share it when I get home.

I completely agree with the postes who’ve said they encounter the “Go on, treat yourself, you’re thin!” brigade. Fortunately in my current office no one would dream of doing that (but we do have some very good bakers so I want the food they bring in anyway!) but in a previous office they did. I think they couldn’t bear anyone being slimmer or having more self-control than they did so you had to be dragged down to their level.

A further thought on the “taking food for later” front - I recently worked with someone to whom I offered a cookie from a bag I’d bought at lunchtime to celebrate a promotion. She took one and said she’d have it later, but it turned out she was coeliac but too polite to turn the cookie down.

It depends on whether she ever contributes with treats. If she does, then taking it home wouldn’t bother me.

My husband loves cupcakes, especially red velvet. I think they’re meh. I would take cupcake hope to him.

Perhaps she’s explaining why she’s not eating it right away. There’s always cake and biscuits in my staff room at school and I sometimes have a piece but most often not as it’s not my thing but I’d feel like I was offending the baker if I said that so sometimes I say I’ll have some later but don’t take it. Would you rather she said no thank you or would that offend you?

I completely agree with the postes who’ve said they encounter the “Go on, treat yourself, you’re thin!” brigade
They're so irritating.

In my current workplace I've got a group of entirely healthy slim people who are obsessed with diets so there's very much a divide. Lunchtimes can be such a bore at times because depending on who is having lunch conversation seems to revolve around fawning over whatever health box someone has brought in, how 'naughty' someone was last night because they had a cube of cheese, and whatever the dominant group have decided to watch on telly.

It means if I bring in a scone or cake from home I'm subjected to 'oh Lola, I don't know how you manage to stay so slim with cake'. One of these days I'll snap and point out that having a healthy attitude to food, regular exercise and not spending every waking minute obsessing over my appearance makes me a much happier person with a consistent weight. If I did that I'd probably end up the subject of an AIBU thread

Are you annoyed she doesn’t eat cake? Are you envious of her size? The ladies that bake at my school are quite large and comment if I say no to a cake. They comment that I’m watching my figure etc. Yes in part I am but just don’t eat cake weekly and am not on a diet.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

I always feel bad when someone is going round with a box of chocolates on their birthday and people refuse them.

I get that it totally makes sense to refuse and no one should feel obliged to eat anything, and there are lots of reason why people can’t or won’t eat something, but sometimes I find the way people reject food is quite rude.

However, it’s a thought I keep to myself in real life. I often take a chocolate just to make the person happy.

I think it’s an excuse as she doesn’t want to eat it. A lot of people try to avoid sweet treats at work - for health or hygiene reasons. I completely get it.

People are being really weird if they can't decline a piece of cake if they don't want to eat it.

I think it's a bit cheap of the woman to take a piece of cake for her daughter. You aren't baking for the daughter. Not a huge issue obviously though 😅

Oh God, I hate this.

Not everybody wants to eat unhealthy treats with their coworkers every day.

She's probably just being polite, leave the poor woman alone.

they look at you like you just dropped kicked their first born

Sorry - meant to add

Sorry I would do the same if someone brought in something lovely !
I would think of DD at school eating her (boring) healthy lunch with mineral water and think she’d love this !
I can’t wait to pick her up and surprise her with it - especially if it’s chocolate/chocolate cake which she’s obsessed with and I can’t bare