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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this annoy you, re. taking treats into work?

160 replies

Wecangosomewhere · 20/07/2020 20:11

Don't know why this annoys me but it does. Sometimes at work, usually a couple of times a week, I or someone else will bring in some cookies or sweets or something for eveyone to share.

One co-worker though when she gets her share often says 'oh I 'll take it home for my daughter'

I feel like saying 'I'm bringing in things for us to have at work not to be taken home for children, if you want her to have treats buy them yourself'

I know it's only petty but it's annoying me!

OP posts:
Goatinthegarden · 21/07/2020 07:57

I’m surprised at the number of people who feel obliged to take the offerings and then bin it or give it to someone else.

When we have shared cake at work, there is a pack who descend on it and a pack who politely decline. Some of the staff are more than happy to go back for seconds or thirds if it’s there. If there are leftovers, it gets put away for those that want it to eat it the following day. If some people don’t want, then there is more for those that do.

It has never happened before, but I think I’d find it bizarre too OP if someone took it home for a family member. I think maybe because our workplace isn’t near any shops and our break times are a bit too short to go out and get snacks, so if a treat is brought in, it’s for the convenience of the staff that want to have it.

oooompa · 21/07/2020 07:57

I do this, normally when we're given sweets, or our yearly easter egg and advent calender. I've bought cales from charity bake sales as well to take home for DD.
I don't eat carbs so most food brought into the office I can't eat, I don't see why it's a bad thing to take my portion home for DD when I know she'll enjoy the treat.

Roselilly36 · 21/07/2020 07:58

Your colleague could be gluten intolerant, if the cookie would have been theirs anyway, why would you be offended by taking one home for a child, I would probably suggest it to be honest.

Twinkletwinklechocbar · 21/07/2020 07:58

Oh gosh, I do this sometimes.

I find working in an office people are always bringing in food. I watch my weight so don't like eating treats all the time. Great if it's a special occasion but once or twice a week is too much for me.

If I say no thank you people get quite insistent so sometimes I say can I take my share home for the dc.

The dc love getting brought home a bit of cake or chocolate.

LolaSmiles · 21/07/2020 08:00

If she's taking her portion home for DC then YABU.

I read the post as this person eats their portion and then regularly takes extra away 'for DC' which is BU. Office treats are office treats and should be there for people to have at work. If there's some spare at the end of the day she should ask before taking for her kids. The fact she does this regularly is in CF territory.

Malbecblooms · 21/07/2020 08:00

I think it's really ride for her to clear off with office treats.

Fwiw, I dislike the culture of taking junk food into work as it encourages needless fatty sugary snacking but that's beside the point, I just say no to it and my colleagues know I don't eat cake so it's no issue. They aren't offended and they aren't feeding my children.

Goatinthegarden · 21/07/2020 08:01

@oooompa

I do this, normally when we're given sweets, or our yearly easter egg and advent calender. I've bought cales from charity bake sales as well to take home for DD. I don't eat carbs so most food brought into the office I can't eat, I don't see why it's a bad thing to take my portion home for DD when I know she'll enjoy the treat.
These sound like individual things given specifically to you. Or things you have purchased to support a charity.

I think there’s a difference between that and the communal offering of ‘here is some cake for anyone who fancies a slice’.

betteliefsen · 21/07/2020 08:01

No, not at all. If she's only taking her fair share then it's up to her.

Twinkletwinklechocbar · 21/07/2020 08:04

^*That would be me! That's because I don't want the bloody treats. I work very hard to watch my weight and turn down my absolute favourite treats, so the last thing I want is a piece of home made cake that doesn't look much appealing to me in the first place.

The problem is if I say no, I get the 'come on, a little piece won't do you harm, you're skinny anyway, I stayed up until 1am to make it and my boyfriend said it was delicious, it will be good for you', so I say that I'll take it home for my kids as this usually shuts them up. It usually ends up in the bin as my kids are not that fuss either.*^

Haha this is it exactly.

I worked really hard to lose some weight a while ago. These days I only have a treat if it's something I really do love. I'm not going to stuff down someone's cake that I don't even really like.

But if you say no you get all of the above.

MGMidget · 21/07/2020 08:07

Why are people sharing food like this anyway at the moment? I wouldnt want to eat food from a collective tray that everyone had had their hands on, brought in from someone’s home whilst Covid 19 still circulating. I appreciate everyone has different views on this but considering that many businesses are having to go to lots of trouble to follow guidelines in social distancinf pg etc it seems pointless when shared food is being handed round on a plate.

QuiteCleanBandit2020 · 21/07/2020 08:08

In our office any treats/cakes are placed in the kitchen and everyone just helps themselves if the want to.
No discussion, no " go on " no pressure.
Sounds like you are rather invested in wanting attention just because you baked something and policing who eats it Confused
Since Covid we haven't been able to share this stuff anyway .

AliceinBunnyland · 21/07/2020 08:09

PPs talking about feeling forced to take homemade cakes, there is nothing to suggest OP is doing this. She has said "sweets and cookies" which I wouldn't assume are homemade.

QuacksInTheDark · 21/07/2020 08:17

How mean spirited to deny a child a bit of cake. Catch yourself on OP.

AliceinBunnyland · 21/07/2020 08:18

OP I think you need to come back and give more context because it's difficult to know how weird this is

Pomegranatepompom · 21/07/2020 08:21

No one pressures anyone where I work - I find it bizarre that people would.
Any leftover cake will be eaten the next day. Rude to take it home- very entitled.

Quartz2208 · 21/07/2020 08:25

You are projecting your desire for a treat at work onto her. For whatever one of the myriad of reasons she has she doesn’t want it and feels she has come up with a polite way of saying so without offending you
Even though clearly only eating it and showing gratitude for you bringing them to share would be good enough

xolotltezcatlopoca · 21/07/2020 08:25

It depends, how it's shared. If it was left somewhere and only who wants it takes them, yabu. She can just not take it. But if she wanted to take it for her dd, I also think that's fine, unless she takes more than her share.
If it was given to each, she may just being polite. She doesn't want it, but feel guilty for declining.
By the way, my dh used to bring a cake home from work, there was a lady who loves to make them, and she always gave my dh extra to take home because dh told her how much I loved her cake.

thecatsthecats · 21/07/2020 08:27

When our office feeder left, everyone lost at least a stone.

(I bloody hate the 'you should just have self-control' brigade. I exercise my self control by not having junk in my home, not picking it out at the supermarket, etc etc etc - I've lost six stone, I no doubt know more about self-control than most! What I resent is having food foisted on my by people who appear to place extreme value on my eating their less than superlative offerings... that's not a good use of my self control allowance for the day!)

ItWasNotOK · 21/07/2020 08:30

I think you're both being odd. She is odd for taking stuff home that is clearly meant for colleagues, you are odd for caring enough to post about it.

Pomegranatepompom · 21/07/2020 08:34

Tbf that are mainly threads on here where people are annoyed by random things.

BilboBercow · 21/07/2020 08:35

So basically you're quite happy for her to have her "share" but she must eat it in front of you?

I think you need to try to think hard about why this bothers you op. Yes it is very petty. Either you are happy for her to have a piece or you're not.

SunbathingDragon · 21/07/2020 08:40

I’m reading this that she takes her share home and it so YABU. I guarantee that she just doesn’t want to eat it and it goes in the bin.

If she was eating her share and then taking another portion then that would BU but it so, why aren’t you saying something?

QuiteCleanBandit2020 · 21/07/2020 08:40

Oooh sorry I thought they were homemade.
Even weirder to police sweets and shop bought cookies thenConfused

sluj · 21/07/2020 08:41

This happens in my office too, no pressure to eat the cakes, biscuits or sweets though. One colleague eats very healthily and never takes any of the food for herself but often takes cupcakes or sweets home for her kids. She never, ever contributes stuff as she says she doesn't eat it. I agree with the OP. If I take a tin of Celebrations in, its for the office to share not for their families. I know its a small thing but it winds me up too.
Fair enough though if its fresh food and is left over at 5pm.

Pomegranatepompom · 21/07/2020 08:41

If you don’t want a piece - surely just leave for someone else in the office to enjoy later?

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