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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?

999 replies

Ilovegreentomatoes · 19/07/2020 22:33

It's always been said men prefer long hair it looks more feminine etc.
I know many women hate having their hair short and are devastated if their hairdresser cuts of more than an inch.What is the obsession with long hair? I have fine hair and cut it short because long hair looks crap on me but I'm definitely in the minority. Even women who look better with short hair because of their hair texture insist on keeping it long. Do you think that's because we are subconsciously taught mainly by men that long hair is more attractive. Plus all teen girls have that uniform ultra long hair there is no diversity. And no I'm not jealous because I have short hair!(well very short bob to be fair.)

OP posts:
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24
heartsonacake · 20/07/2020 09:57

[quote GinDaddyRedux]@heartsonacake

You're entitled to your viewpoint.

I'm curious though if you genuinely think Charlize Theron for example looks "ugly" with that short hair. (such a horrible word but I'm using your term).[/quote]
Yes, I do genuinely think she looks ugly with short hair. As I have said repeatedly, I have never seen a woman—celebrity or otherwise—who looks good with short hair.

Some of my favourite actresses have had short hair at times; at those times, I have never felt they looked attractive.

damnthatanxiety · 20/07/2020 09:57

Mydogisthebestest Yes! In the poster's opinion. Because that is all any of us have. Are you suggesting that YOUR opinion is actually more than that and is actually fact whereas dissenting views are merely 'opinion'?

Evelefteden · 20/07/2020 09:58

Heartsonacake isn’t very friendly to other females. I do wonder who is actually behind the username ...

Mydogisthebestest · 20/07/2020 09:58

@damnthatanxiety

Mydogisthebestest Yes! In the poster's opinion. Because that is all any of us have. Are you suggesting that YOUR opinion is actually more than that and is actually fact whereas dissenting views are merely 'opinion'?
Not at all. But that poster doesn’t accept that he has an opinion, and it isn’t a fact.
burninh · 20/07/2020 09:58

@heartsonacake that's ridiculous though, long hair doesn't make someone beautiful, it might make some one more beautiful but it's the face that is beautiful or not.

Your saying that someone with an unattractive face but long hair is automatically better looking then those celebs I posted? ok...

heartsonacake · 20/07/2020 09:58

[quote GinDaddyRedux]@heartsonacake

Also different question -

Do you think Lupita Nyong'o looks better with short or longer hair?[/quote]
I had to google her as I’d never heard of her, but long.

Bubblebu · 20/07/2020 09:59

burninh

if they look good (which I agree they do but that is just my subjective opinion others can disagree) maybe that is more to do with bone structure, face shape, clear skin, oh... and plenty of ££££ to invest seriously in maintenance and upkeep of their healthy youthful looks generally RATHER than that they have short (but perfectly styled mind you) hair styles.

and in terms of the maintenance debate my experience is that longer hair requires less maintenance but it all depends on other factors like how thick / fine/straight/curly your hair is. Generally my perception is that shorter hair requires much more styling than longer but I am sure that is not the case for all short hair style people. And it also depends on how much you care about it and how much you can be arsed as many have said.

And infuriatingly (well for me anyway!) I have met women with long hair who do more or less nothing to it (aside from washing it and very occasional hairdresser visits for a trim but no colour etc) and it looks fuckin fantastic - every single day. (not jealous oh no). Everyone is different.

bodgeitandscarper · 20/07/2020 10:00

Blimey, as women why can't we just agree that short hair is preferable for some women, just as long hair is for others?

It's nobody else's business whether you think an individual is too old/fat/ugly for a particular style, life's too short. Let people have the style that they want without the judgemental bullshit. I honestly think we're our own worst enemies sometimes.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 20/07/2020 10:01

I've had my hair all lengths. I prefer it long because it grows so quickly - when it's short I have to keep getting it cut.
With it long I can cut it myself, which is particularly useful at the moment.
I like playing with hair dye and that's easier on long hair.

Also, to be honest, partly I keep it long "at my age" to annoy my mother.

MrsJasonIsbell · 20/07/2020 10:01

I don't have it long for the opposite sex but every boyfriend I've ever had has preferred it long!

burninh · 20/07/2020 10:02

How can you say Lupita is ugly compared to say Katie Hopkins because Katie has longer hair?

To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?
SilverOtter · 20/07/2020 10:02

I keep mine long because I like being able to style it into braids, chignons etc. It's very thick and wavy, and the length pulls it down that bit smoother.

(Also, I think it's a subconscious backlash against my mum who made me have either a revolting "pudding bowl" or a weird mullet my entire childhood. Literally as soon as I had control, I grew it right down to my bum😂).

burninh · 20/07/2020 10:02

How can you say Lupita is ugly compared to say Katie Hopkins because Katie has longer hair?

To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?
SilverOtter · 20/07/2020 10:03

I keep mine long because I like being able to style it into braids, chignons etc. It's very thick and wavy, and the length pulls it down that bit smoother.

(Also, I think it's a subconscious backlash against my mum who made me have either a revolting "pudding bowl" or a weird mullet my entire childhood. Literally as soon as I had control, I grew it right down to my bum😂).

heartsonacake · 20/07/2020 10:04

There’s no point reiterating it. If you don’t agree with my opinion, that’s absolutely fine. As I’ve already said, looks are subjective.

I know what I like and find attractive and so do you. I don’t try to change your opinion so I’m confused as to why you want to change mine.

burninh · 20/07/2020 10:04

@Bubblebu my response was to the poster who said the word ugly. Beauty is subjective but none of the women I've posted would be considered ugly just because they have short hair.

FizzyGreenWater · 20/07/2020 10:04

I've NEVER met a woman who doesn't care more about the opinion of other women than men, when it comes to looks.

It's the opinion of the experts that counts Grin

Dressing up to pull, fine.

Actual decisions on style and look - nope. Men are irrelevant when it comes to that. Have you LOOKED at the style and beauty threads?!

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 20/07/2020 10:05

All I'm reading is I have long hair because I'm lazy....I always assumed longer hair would be more time consuming for washing/blowdry/brushing?

I wash my hair once a week, twice if I've been swimming/did something mucky.
I never blow dry it.
It takes seconds to brush it, especially if I put it up, and I have it up a lot.

Sometimes I might straighten it(after washing) but more often than not I don't.

HighlandPeach · 20/07/2020 10:05

I like my hair long, I look so much better. I like to look nice for myself. I’ve never done anything beauty wise in the hopes of attracting male attention. I think I do my make up everyday so I look nice everywhere, mostly for childcare pick up haha.

Many years back, I had my hair cut from just above elbow length to really very short like a famous actress at the time. Total disaster!! It looked dreadful. Short hair is really high maintenance and I grew it long again as soon as possible. Actually, thinking back I should have had extensions whilst waiting!! It was so awful

burninh · 20/07/2020 10:06

@heartsonacake I'm not trying to change your opinion just pointed out that it's stupid.

MikeEhrmantraut · 20/07/2020 10:06

I have the cliched long highlighted hair. If my husband had his way it would be dyed black and like Helena bonham Carters, proper gothic and wild. Which looks beautiful on other people but is really not my style. I like being able to tie it up and style it different ways. I also have a babyish face and am short. My dream hair style would be an undercut with a wavy bob. My hair and bone structure is not up to task for that to happen sadly so cookie cutter presentable long hair is fine by me.

FizzyGreenWater · 20/07/2020 10:06

Oh and long v short hair - slightly strange thing to pick. Different looks suit different people. I'm sure that's been said a million times.

unstableunicorn · 20/07/2020 10:06

I've had short and long, and neither choice was for a man! Now I'm keeping it longer just because it's easier to tie up

Gwenhwyfar · 20/07/2020 10:06

@bodgeitandscarper

Blimey, as women why can't we just agree that short hair is preferable for some women, just as long hair is for others? It's nobody else's business whether you think an individual is too old/fat/ugly for a particular style, life's too short. Let people have the style that they want without the judgemental bullshit. I honestly think we're our own worst enemies sometimes.
Nobody's saying anyone can or can't have a certain hair length - this is just a discussion about preference.
Mittens030869 · 20/07/2020 10:06

I know I looked more beautiful on my wedding day than I do now. I had short brown hair and I was slim, and I was 33. Hence I look slim and glamorous in my wedding photos. It would be ludicrous to say I look more beautiful now, at 50 and overweight and a few wrinkles just because my hair is long and blond.

That would be completely daft. It's not low self-esteem talking, it's stating a plain fact. Hmm