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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?

999 replies

Ilovegreentomatoes · 19/07/2020 22:33

It's always been said men prefer long hair it looks more feminine etc.
I know many women hate having their hair short and are devastated if their hairdresser cuts of more than an inch.What is the obsession with long hair? I have fine hair and cut it short because long hair looks crap on me but I'm definitely in the minority. Even women who look better with short hair because of their hair texture insist on keeping it long. Do you think that's because we are subconsciously taught mainly by men that long hair is more attractive. Plus all teen girls have that uniform ultra long hair there is no diversity. And no I'm not jealous because I have short hair!(well very short bob to be fair.)

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SerenDippitty · 20/07/2020 00:17

Always thought Jennifer Lien ( Star Trek Voyager) loomed beautiful with her short cut,

To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?
burninh · 20/07/2020 00:17

@excuseforfights well obviously I clean my hair up but because it's long & I have so much of it one strand flying off when I brush annoys him.

SickOfThisVirus · 20/07/2020 00:18

I would shave off all my hair right now if I could but DH wouldn't like it and I think I get treated better by society in general with long hair. I envy men being able to have short hair.

SerenDippitty · 20/07/2020 00:19

@Italiangreyhound

I think long hair on women looks younger.
Depends on their face. It’s not a good look when you see a woman with long hair from the back and get a shock when she turns around.
CuppaZa · 20/07/2020 00:19

I have long hair because it’s nice, it suits me, and I like it. I couldn’t give a fuck what men (or women with shorter hair, and opinions on long hair) think.
I think most women with long hair probably feel the same

eaglejulesk · 20/07/2020 00:19

The trouble with short hair is that it needs cutting every few weeks and honestly, who can be bothered?

I have short hair, wavy/curly, and I get it cut approximately every three months - i.e. four times a year. Not all short cuts need constant attention.

RaspberryToupee · 20/07/2020 00:20

I’ve had a chin length bob a number of times, the first was when I was 9. My hair is currently about an inch above my waist, mostly because I’ve not had it cut for a year.

Currently, my hair is too long. It gets caught under my back when I’m sleeping, it takes forever to brush, it gets caught in the crook of my elbow if it’s down, it gets tangled around the brushes in the hoover. It wouldn’t be this long if lockdown hadn’t happened. I haven’t made an appointment yet because I know the hairdressers are busy and I can’t be bothered to dial them several times a day until I get an appointment but it will be chopped off soon. It’ll probably go to shoulder length. I like my hair longer because it’s easier to maintain. I usually wear it up, so I wash it, brush it and put it in a bobble. When I’m wearing my hair in a bun or a ponytail on a daily basis, I’m hardly doing it to be attractive am I? When I’ve had short bobs in the past, they’ve needed blow drying and styling as they didn’t fit into a bobble. With short hair cuts you also have to get your hair cut regularly. I don’t particularly enjoy going to the hairdressers, it’s a necessity for me. So why would I want to attend every 6 weeks to keep on top of my haircut?

In the 10 years I’ve been with him, I’ve never once asked DH whether he would prefer my hair long or short. He actually doesn’t like my hair this long because it gets in the way and he lies on it in bed when he’s asleep, then I kick him to get off my hair. He associates my long hair with him being painfully woken up.

I have always had the opinion that it’s hair, and that it’ll grow back. I’ve had a radical hair cut going from super long to super short and previously donated about 12”. I’ve always found that hairdressers are reluctant to make a cut bigger than an inch and I have to tell them several times that it’s fine. The only person who has ever been remotely upset that I’ve cut my long hair is grandma. Most men I encounter don’t even realise whether my hair is long or not.

I do not inherently think that long hair is attractive. I know a number of women who suit shorter hair, of all age ranges. I think we should stop sprouting ideas such as ‘women have long hair to be attractive’ or ‘women should have short hair over a certain age’ and I personally think a woman should do whatever the hell she wants with her hair without fear of judgement.

Sakura7 · 20/07/2020 00:21

My hair is wavy and frizzy and needs a bit of length to weigh it down. Any shorter than shoulder length and it's a poofy mess, unless I style it to death (which I don't want to do). I would not like it in that state, it's nothing to do with what a man thinks.

If anything, women are expected to cut their hair shorter as they get older, not keep it long. Have your hair whatever way you like, but don't claim that anyone who does it differently is desperate to be liked by men Hmm

Marilla27 · 20/07/2020 00:21

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burninh · 20/07/2020 00:21

tbf plenty of young women & men have long hair that doesn't suit them or is in poor condition.

OOAOML · 20/07/2020 00:22

I have long hair because I like it and I don't have to get it cut regularly. It was cut in February and I generally average one cut a year. I can tie it back in hot weather. It just works for me and my life.

blosstree · 20/07/2020 00:22

I don't think it's true that most women have long hair... half the women I see have short hair.

ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN · 20/07/2020 00:24

I’m nearly 48

My hair is in better condition than it was In my 20’s as I an no longer spending hours blow drying or straightening and products have really improved especially if your hair is curly/wavy/frizzy

I have nice thick shiny hair and shall keep it long (ish)

SerenDippitty · 20/07/2020 00:26

With regards to maintenance - I wash and blow dry my chin length bob once a week. Every other day it just needs a comb.

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/07/2020 00:26

It’s not a good look when you see a woman with long hair from the back and get a shock when she turns around.

The Kronenberg......

Why is it a problem exactly?!

eaglejulesk · 20/07/2020 00:26

How does short hair "always get in your face"? Mine is nowhere near my face - if I lean forward I can just see the edges of it, but that's all. I never "do" it - I just wash it twice a week, leave it to dry, and that's that. No combing, no brushing - how is that so much harder than a ponytail or a bun?

MonkeyBusinessLads · 20/07/2020 00:27

Who decides who looks better with long or short hair? Hmm

squeekums · 20/07/2020 00:27

Really? I spend much less on having my short hair cut than my friends who have theirs dyed do
I dye my own for a grand total of like $15 a month averaged out
If i was to get a monthly trim, tidy and dye at a hairdresser, id be looking round $100 per month

My bob is a wash and go style so no styling needed.My longer hair took a lot longer to wash/blowdry.
Dont blow dry, no need
I have long showers anyway so dont notice a long wash time, i would use more shampoo and conditioner though

Long hair on anyone over 40 looks awful. Shoulder length at most.
Good thing im not 40, nor do i give a shit what randoms online think lol
Plus, with the wrong bone structure, my face will never suit short hair
Should those of a certain age also not wear say mini skirts or singlet tops?

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/07/2020 00:28

@eaglejulesk

How does short hair "always get in your face"? Mine is nowhere near my face - if I lean forward I can just see the edges of it, but that's all. I never "do" it - I just wash it twice a week, leave it to dry, and that's that. No combing, no brushing - how is that so much harder than a ponytail or a bun?
YOu are the exception then! Every woman I know with short hair spends far more time on their hair than I do on mine.
Ilovegreentomatoes · 20/07/2020 00:29

All I'm reading is I have long hair because I'm lazy....I always assumed longer hair would be more time consuming for washing/blowdry/brushing?

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Silvergreen · 20/07/2020 00:30

Well I'm a lesbian with long hair who doesn't give a shit about the 'opposite sex'. Grow up.

ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN · 20/07/2020 00:32

No if your hair is curly/wavy it’s more time consuming to look good if it’s shorter (is for me) and needs to be cut regularly

The length weighs my hair down I have lots of it I cut my own fringe/layers

Ilovegreentomatoes · 20/07/2020 00:32

@Silvergreen but why do lesbians with short hair get called the butch one?

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LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 20/07/2020 00:33

Yeah, that's definitely a plus to my long hair - if it's feeling like it needs a wash and I just can't be arsed, can just scrape back into a high ponytail Grin
Only needs a brush in a morning and that's it, no maintenance, it's great lol

ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 20/07/2020 00:34

@Destroyedpeople

Tbh zara if I saw a balding middle aged man with one of those dreadful little pony tails my fingers would be itching for the scissors. So yes, in answer to your question.
I never said a balding man with a ponytail I said a man with long hair, equivalent to to a woman with long hair, I’m comparing like for like.