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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School reports and gender

112 replies

MadameBee · 19/07/2020 18:35

Question - do all reports refer to children as “they” rather than he/she?

DH was reading DSDs and was moaning about the grammar.

Is this requested or is it standard now that they are gender neutral?

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Coffeeandteach · 19/07/2020 18:38

All my school reports are he/she.

Either they don't want to assume gender or they use a report writing programme.

GreenTulips · 19/07/2020 18:40

How are are the children?

I’d guess lower KS1

MadameBee · 19/07/2020 18:40

Yes this is what I was wondering.

DSD has said she is gay/bi/non binary and spends a lot of time on Instagram posting about her rights - be great if she put as much effort into her school work but hey!

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MadameBee · 19/07/2020 18:40

Yr 8/10

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Elsewyre · 19/07/2020 18:41

@MadameBee

Yes this is what I was wondering.

DSD has said she is gay/bi/non binary and spends a lot of time on Instagram posting about her rights - be great if she put as much effort into her school work but hey!

Well that would be why then...
SoSpooky · 19/07/2020 18:42

It's likely that they are using a report writing program or doing something similar e.g.copying and pasting phrases that come up very often.

Brot64 · 19/07/2020 18:42

Ours are all gender specific. Where he/she has not been used the child's name has been used in place.

MadameBee · 19/07/2020 18:42

I didn’t know if it’s standard for all children or if you request it.

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Mydogisthebestest · 19/07/2020 18:42

@MadameBee

Yes this is what I was wondering.

DSD has said she is gay/bi/non binary and spends a lot of time on Instagram posting about her rights - be great if she put as much effort into her school work but hey!

That’s your answer. If she’s identifying as non-binary that’s why the report is written with they.
MadameBee · 19/07/2020 18:43

It used they/their and her name.

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SoSpooky · 19/07/2020 18:43

Edit:
"DSD has said she is gay/bi/non binary and spends a lot of time on Instagram posting about her rights - be great if she put as much effort into her school work but hey!"

Well that answers the question then surely...

MrsScrubbingbrush · 19/07/2020 18:44

DDs summer report sensibly referred to her as she/her. However she is in an all girls secondary school.

The only problem we had was one teacher's comments started off with her correct name and then referred to her by another name - the perils of cut & paste!

DD said it happens quite often to her friends too.

darkcaramel · 19/07/2020 18:45

A lot c & p from a comment bank and just insert your child’s name.

MadameBee · 19/07/2020 18:45

I think a lot of it was copied and pasted to be honest as the comments did not correspond to the grades.

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MrsScrubbingbrush · 19/07/2020 18:47

Sorry I didn't see your other posts as I was slowly typing mine.

I guess that's the reason. I don't think DD would notice or really care if it was they/their and I had to go back to check as I hadn't noticed either.

whattimeisitrightnow · 19/07/2020 18:49

DSD has said she is gay/bi/non binary and spends a lot of time on Instagram posting about her rights - be great if she put as much effort into her school work but hey!

That’s a nasty bit of spite towards someone who is likely suffering from a lot of discrimination and seems to be struggling with identity. Campaigning for rights for marginalised communities is a good thing, you know.

Fairenuff · 19/07/2020 18:51

It will be cut and paste. They use the same comments for loads of kids.

MadameBee · 19/07/2020 18:53

Not when she has outright refused to do her schoolwork because she’s obsessed with Instagram and is getting poor grades.

It seems to be the norm within her friendship group so and like any teenager she goes through fads (she was vegetarian for a few months then a vegan then she was gay they she was non binary then she was bisexual).

I am not saying there is anything wrong with it and I don’t care what she eats or how she is attracted to, just don’t get sidetracked and put effort in at school.

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MadameBee · 19/07/2020 18:58

Also a part of me thinks “poor teachers” as report time must be hectic without having to make sure they get this right for everyone too.

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Mydogisthebestest · 19/07/2020 18:59

If she’s feeling unsure if who she is that’s going to impact her ability to concentrate and she will be trying to find her tribe. Hence the social media.

MadameBee · 19/07/2020 19:00

Most of her friendship group are gay or bi and she brought her girlfriend here for a few weekends and was most put out when we made them sleep in separate rooms.

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RedOasis · 19/07/2020 19:00

I m so over this now......I’m fed up and pissed off with this overly pc world we live in where we have to over analyse and find unmeant meaning in absolutely EVERYTHING! Aaaaaaagh 😱

cuntryclub · 19/07/2020 19:02

@RedOasis

I m so over this now......I’m fed up and pissed off with this overly pc world we live in where we have to over analyse and find unmeant meaning in absolutely EVERYTHING! Aaaaaaagh 😱

I don't think this one needs analysis tbh. OPDD has said she is non binary so that will be what the report doesn't say she but they.

Mydogisthebestest · 19/07/2020 19:04

Has she asked you to use they?

MadameBee · 19/07/2020 19:05

I do think with teenage girls there is a lot of band wagon jumping tbh, not that it shouldn’t be validated and taken seriously.

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