Friend and children still in complete lockdown

[madbirdlady22]

I am getting quite worried about a friend of mine, and wondered if there is something I can or should be doing do to help her.

Since mid March she has been in lockdown with her dh and children, and along the same lines as everyone else stayed in. Back then she would not even take the children for a walk, they stayed at home 247 with shopping delivered. I asked her why not go for a walk, but she said there was no need as they have a garden.

Now we are in mid July, and the children have still not been out. They decided against going back to school in June, and they have not been out anywhere at all since March. I am feeling quite worried now, not just for her, but for the children as well (they are ages 7 and 4) she has not seen any friends or been out of the house at all since the lockdown began.

I suggested the park, she said it was too busy, I mentioned going to the gardens nearby for a picnic with her dc, and she said they couldn't get a ticket, but I know it is possible to get tickets easily. She lives an hour and a half away, so I can't just pop in and check on her, and I feel I should respect her wishes.

She is now saying she doesn't think the children will go back to school in September after all. I am getting very worried about her.

I think/thought her MH is fine, her dh has PTSD at the moment. I am feeling concerned, she has no family nearby and no other support from what I can gather.

They spend all day every day in the house or in the garden.
They are not shielding, are not vulnerable at all and they are all perfectly healthy.

Should I say something? Are other people also doing this? Should I just leave them to it? She has been a friend for 35 years plus and we grew up together.

I think leave her alone. A lot of people are still doing this and don't want to be pressurised. I would be getting really annoyed with you if I was feeling the pressure to do something I don't want to do. Everyone has the choice to do this pandemic how they like.

That's weird , I would be worried too

@IslandbreezeNZ

I think leave her alone. A lot of people are still doing this and don't want to be pressurised. I would be getting really annoyed with you if I was feeling the pressure to do something I don't want to do. Everyone has the choice to do this pandemic how they like.

No they don't have the choice to do it as they like. They don't get to damage their children by deliberately isolating them, when the guidance says it's absolutely fine for them to go out for walks every day (and has been since March) and that they can meet family and friends outdoors at the very least.

No they don't have the choice to do it as they like. They don't get to damage their children by deliberately isolating them, when the guidance says it's absolutely fine for them to go out for walks every day (and has been since March) and that they can meet family and friends outdoors at the very least

Where in the guidelines does it stipulate that friend has to meet with op?

She has no rights at all to see her friend, talk to her friend or demand to see friends children. What is going on? Do you all think ex partners or abusive partners also have the right to turn up at the front door and demand entrance or can ring GpS and health visitors and make spurious claims under the guise of concern that their ex refuses to meet them?

The Zoe app is reporting numbers are no longer declining, Barcelona has gone back into lockdown, areas within the UK are causing concern again - it's understandable if people have got concerns and are being cautious. Just say op succeeds in forcing her friend to meet up, or go out and then the friend catches Covid - will op go and look after the children or provide practical assistance or financial assistance if they can't work for a while? People are having to weigh up so many worries and issues, it's really not right for outsiders to decide they've got the right to interfere and meddle in a friend's life. It's really crossing a line.

I applaud your friend for keeping people safe!!!

People like you that just must go out and mingle are the reason why tens of thousands of it’s not gone past the 100K mark by now have and are still dying! Hundreds of people are still dying every week from the virus and the numbers are rising again.

Stay home stay safe!

Don’t go the pub or the over crowded parks!

And a little story about a teenager going to dinner at a friends house. Even so his parents did say not to. A couple weeks later he starts feeling unwell hides it from his family and another week later said friend calls saying he’s got Covid but a-symptomatic (that means no symptoms) and another week the mum, 6 year and 12 year old siblings and dad come down with it. They all recovered. But Dad is still in hospital off the ventilator but still in ICU and they don’t know of he will make it or be the same person as before.

Think about this when you wanna go back to mingling as before, if that was your family how would you feel?!
If that was your husband, wife, child or parent?!

The government guidelines go against everything the experts say!!!

But people can take their children outside the front door without having to meet up with people. They can take them for a walk and DC can see their neighbours from a distance and wave at them, can look at the pictures people still have in their windows, they can take them to the park (not necessarily the playground) and they can see other people outside enjoying themselves. They can see that life is continuing, maybe differently but it is continuing.

And all these if I’m
Worried for their mental health? Wtf is wrong with you?!
Have you never heard of social media, and this little invention called internet and telephone now even has video isn’t it grand?

Don’t listen to the village idiot that bought his way into No.10! The government is wrong! The guidelines are wrong and dangerously tho!

And they likely do go out the front door etc. And let’s face it tv and YouTube is the best way nowadays to see how life continues not the park. Which is still dangerous where we live as masses that don’t go to park normally occupy it all day every day now and at weekends it used to be busy even before but the amount of people going now I don’t want my kids to have to watch for turd mines every where or have some sick person cough on them or be run over by some teenagers on a bike. Parks are not safe places these days in most areas as they are just too busy.

And I think people need to wind their necks in!

It’s safer at home and then out, why are trying to get other people killed?

@syskywalker are you for real?

OP I understand why you're worried, but at the same time I'm torn. We are still in a pandemic and while we are told we can go out and about we know get too close to anyone, mix too much, not wear masks etc and you can get a virus. We did what your friend was doing, then decided we should probably ease off and invited people for a socially distanced visit and they walked straight up to the kids and handed them presents which the kids ran off with delighted. Other people came over and dh's friend's wife handed me the baby. People are safer at home and honestly not all children are experiencing mh issues from being in their homes, I'm sure being out and having people sidestep them (us in the park today) or seeing everyone look mistrustingly at each other (us in town during the week) is as hard. Just feel it out but dont assume everyone needs the same thing

[quote gingganggooleywotsit]@Rememberallball When I got a puppy I was told by all the dog experts, vets etc to socialise him in order to have a relaxed happy confident dog. Even before he had his vaccinations I would carry him in my arms, to shops, in the streets etc..I bought up my babies in the same way! I wanted them to be comfortable in different situations, seeing new faces etc..the thought of deliberately keeping them locked indoors when the risks are small now, is alien to me. I'm not saying I'm a perfect mum but why you would make your kids afraid of the outside world I will never know.[/quote]
It’s nice you think the risk is so small - not everyone thinks that way, especially while there are those out there who believe life has returned to normal and Covid is now a thing of the past with no need to take any precautions. I don’t agree with that way of thinking and I’m choosing to protect my children and myself this way. They are quite comfortable in the environment I keep them in and it’s only your assumption that they are afraid of the outside world.

@ineedaholidaynow

But *@Rememberallball* they can see things outside that they can't in your own home, they need to know there is a world outside their front door.

They can see anything that is outside and matters by being shown through a window or on TV, or even via the internet (though, at under a year old, that features very low in their interactions). And, when the time comes and the situation arises that we have a need to go out, then they will see those things. Until then there really isn’t any need.

Do you have her under surveillance? Do you know she’s definitely not going for walks?

You sound like a nosey pushy friend and she might feel pressurised by you and be saying she’s not going at all to catch a break.

Always two sides to every story and we have only heard your version of hers.

We also have no idea if any of her family have health concerns.

@gingganggooleywotsit

When I got a puppy I was told by all the dog experts, vets etc to socialise him in order to have a relaxed happy confident dog. Even before he had his vaccinations I would carry him in my arms, to shops, in the streets etc..I bought up my babies in the same way! I wanted them to be comfortable in different situations, seeing new faces etc..the thought of deliberately keeping them locked indoors when the risks are small now, is alien to me. I'm not saying I'm a perfect mum but why you would make your kids afraid of the outside world I will never know.

Wow. You bring your children up like dogs, what an achievement?!

My nearest family member works in a hospital, so I haven't seen them all this time and not planning in the near future. My other family member is older and shielding, but I have seen them, taken shopping in in the first 3 months, but now they are going shopping by themselves. Have not seen any of my friends, as I completely do not have the need. I talk to them every few days on the phone. DH's family members were getting on my nerves before the lockdown, so it was very good opportunity for me to ban them from my house!
I am going out (shopping for food), taking DCs to a local park, where they meet their friends and I get to talk to other mums, but I feel no need to travel anywhere to meet friends. Became total home buddy during lockdown. Some friends turning up at my house with some pre-booked tickets would really irritate me!

Again

Government guidelines are dangerously wrong!

All experts say to keep staying at home!

The new guidelines are purely political decisions!

The government is putting money over people’s life’s!

Stop being sheeple.

Stay home to protect your loved ones!

And have any if you “children need stimulation” types thought about what children had to be stimulated, over the last 5000 years? Today’s society and children’s lack to entertain themselves is why the human race will die out in a couple of centuries.

Just a wonder... how much have you been socialising to your friend’s knowledge? Have you been obeying the rules, showing caution?

We go for walks and meet friends at a distance but only friends I trust. Those who have been mixing and breaking rules for months get the politest vaguest brush off I can give. I had to lie to one friend that I don’t go out to get her to back off.

I’m sure all the experts have said you can go out for exercise and that is what is needed for mental as well as physical well being.

@ChangeOfNameNeeded07 you are taking your DC to the park. The people we are commenting on are not taking their children out of their house/garden. It is not a case of encouraging them to go in other people’s houses or go to a cafe/cinema, it is saying that not taking them outside the front door is not healthy.

We are a family sticking to the rules, and quite cautious so haven’t been inside other people’s home or to the pub etc. But we have been outside for exercise since day one. DS is a teenager so not in the same position and development need of a young child. So he is socialising more on social media but has been outside the home. We chat to friends/neighbours at the end of drives, gardens but avoid anywhere too busy. So it is possible to go out and be sociable without getting too close to people.

It is seriously worrying that there is more than one person on this thread who thinks children have no need to encounter the outside world because they can learn about it through TV and YouTube.

I have been to the pub for food.

It was a perfectly pleasant experience and apart from one other table several metres away I though it was perfectly safe.

People around here are still Social Distancing apart from those wearing masks who I assume think they are immune in their face covering. Even if it doesn’t cover their nose

.

@ineedaholidaynow

I’m sure all the experts have said you can go out for exercise and that is what is needed for mental as well as physical well being.

@ChangeOfNameNeeded07 you are taking your DC to the park. The people we are commenting on are not taking their children out of their house/garden. It is not a case of encouraging them to go in other people’s houses or go to a cafe/cinema, it is saying that not taking them outside the front door is not healthy.

We are a family sticking to the rules, and quite cautious so haven’t been inside other people’s home or to the pub etc. But we have been outside for exercise since day one. DS is a teenager so not in the same position and development need of a young child. So he is socialising more on social media but has been outside the home. We chat to friends/neighbours at the end of drives, gardens but avoid anywhere too busy. So it is possible to go out and be sociable without getting too close to people.

The going out for exercise assumes people would have done so prior to Covid and lockdown happening - for some people it wasn’t/isn’t a priority, an interest or an enjoyment.

Likewise, some people are aren’t into socialising, and are quite happy in their own company not feeling the need to stand at the end of a drive or in a garden making small talk with the people they live near. In fact, for some people, there is no drive or garden outside their front door and to socially distance while chatting to neighbours would mean one of them standing in the middle of the road while the other is on their doorstep - and they simply might have no desire to stand there having a chit chat with neighbours.