Friend and children still in complete lockdown

[madbirdlady22]

I am getting quite worried about a friend of mine, and wondered if there is something I can or should be doing do to help her.

Since mid March she has been in lockdown with her dh and children, and along the same lines as everyone else stayed in. Back then she would not even take the children for a walk, they stayed at home 247 with shopping delivered. I asked her why not go for a walk, but she said there was no need as they have a garden.

Now we are in mid July, and the children have still not been out. They decided against going back to school in June, and they have not been out anywhere at all since March. I am feeling quite worried now, not just for her, but for the children as well (they are ages 7 and 4) she has not seen any friends or been out of the house at all since the lockdown began.

I suggested the park, she said it was too busy, I mentioned going to the gardens nearby for a picnic with her dc, and she said they couldn't get a ticket, but I know it is possible to get tickets easily. She lives an hour and a half away, so I can't just pop in and check on her, and I feel I should respect her wishes.

She is now saying she doesn't think the children will go back to school in September after all. I am getting very worried about her.

I think/thought her MH is fine, her dh has PTSD at the moment. I am feeling concerned, she has no family nearby and no other support from what I can gather.

They spend all day every day in the house or in the garden.
They are not shielding, are not vulnerable at all and they are all perfectly healthy.

Should I say something? Are other people also doing this? Should I just leave them to it? She has been a friend for 35 years plus and we grew up together.

"But without walls and fresh air you get

Overweight
Sluggish
Lack in vitamin D
Your muscles get weaker.
Your mood gets lower.

When you are out walking you are exposed to lots of different things like grass, trees, mud, pollen, water. Nature is so important for our immune systems.

Children should be playing outdoors. Woods, fields, rivers and parks. It's so good for them!

I lived on farms as a child. I had an amazing immune system."

You had an amazing immune system ffs, I've got grass, trees, mud, pollen and water in my garden. Am I ok to stay here according to you? Can you explain why the vitamin D won't be getting into my system sat in the sunny garden while the kids play football?

@CloudsCoveredTheSky

I'm not in the UK, but if I was, I'd be the same as your friend.

The government has no control over the situation and the health service has shown itself to be a massive failure. There are still way too many people getting infected and dying. People are weird about wearing masks and washing their hands. The UK has handled the whole thing incredibly poorly.

There are hardly any people getting infected and dying now. The infection rate is back to the level it was in mid March.

It occurred to me this morning that people have completely forgotten why we locked down in the first place. It wasn’t to prevent us all getting it, it was to stop all of us getting infected at once and spread the pressure on the NHS.

The mental health issues resulting from this are going to be horrendous. Quite possibly far worse than those from the disease. It really worries me just how risk averse and incapable of rational thinking some people are.

@youhave4substitutes

No need to be rude. No a garden isn't enough for months on end for a child. They need to get out for their overall health. They need to mix and come across different germs and bacterias that glare not in your garden. There's many things outside your garden that are "healthy" germs. Also kids will be on screens and inside alot more.

Why are you laughing at what I said. Being out in the countryside and fields did me the world of good. So many kids have allergies now because they've never been in a field.

Are not in your garden!

Also my comment was an all rounder. Many don't have a garden with grass. Many live in flats.

Children should be riding bikes. Climbing. Running. Collecting sticks. Sitting in parks. Using the park equipment. Walking. Seeing other faces when they are out. They can actually mix now in the sense of meeting a friend for a walk.

I can't believe you think it's ok to stay in a garden for half a year and you don't see the benefits of good healthy outdoor excercise

So many kids have allergies now because they've never been in a field.
Don’t be ridiculous

It's not ridiculous at all. Do your research. It's really beneficial to children to go outside and be in the fields, woods or even just at the local park. We are too clean. We clean too much. We gel our hands. Everything is antibacterial these days.

There's nothing ridiculous about it. This generation of children do alot less walking . Look how many get driven to school.

Spending six months in the garden and away from people with no walks isn't the best for anyone or their health.

Not to mention kids havn't had a chance this year to build up their immune systems to all the usual viruses and stuff they would be catching.

I'm not saying all kids have allergies. I'm not saying all kids are lazy. I'm saying kids need outdoor excercise. Keeping them away from anything outside the gate for six months is not good for them at all unless they are shielding. If not then they need to get outside and get their lungs working and their blood pumping.

Just my opinion. We've been cut off from alot of everyday germs and stuff. It will be making us all weaker. Throw in no walks for six months and you've got a lathargic tired weaker person.

Do people not realise that shielding restrictions are still in place? There are thousands of people, including children, still not meant to be mixing, going out to pubs, restaurants or shops, not having play dates etc.

Who says this family aren't shielding?

Funnily enough no one has given a shiny shite about how the shielding have been coping, whether we've been lonely, lacking in vitamin D, getting exercise throughout lockdown. Suddenly now it's top of your concerns when it's a means to bully others for not doing what you are all doing.

@Melonslicexx

It's not ridiculous at all. Do your research. It's really beneficial to children to go outside and be in the fields, woods or even just at the local park. We are too clean. We clean too much. We gel our hands. Everything is antibacterial these days.

There's nothing ridiculous about it. This generation of children do alot less walking . Look how many get driven to school.

Spending six months in the garden and away from people with no walks isn't the best for anyone or their health.

Not to mention kids havn't had a chance this year to build up their immune systems to all the usual viruses and stuff they would be catching.

I'm not saying all kids have allergies. I'm not saying all kids are lazy. I'm saying kids need outdoor excercise. Keeping them away from anything outside the gate for six months is not good for them at all unless they are shielding. If not then they need to get outside and get their lungs working and their blood pumping.

Just my opinion. We've been cut off from alot of everyday germs and stuff. It will be making us all weaker. Throw in no walks for six months and you've got a lathargic tired weaker person.

No one is stopping you doing it with your children are they?

If that's what you want to do why don't you?

Who says this family aren't shielding?

The OP, in her opening post.

Children should all be picking up sticks and develop allergies because they've not been in fields?

Okie doke.

You sound narrow minded and condescending to anyone who doesn't live like you do, that's what I find amusing.

You realise that children all over the world live in countries that don't have the green spaces you refer to? The trees, mud, grass and sticks? I have family living in the desert, healthy kids. I'll make sure they visit this thread though

@Melonslicexx the statement I quoted IS ridiculous.

I said unless shielding above. Ofcourse it's different for anyone shielding. They ofcourse have suffered and it's isolating and I feel for them. I really do. But walking is a positive. Even if you have to drive to a field or something that's quieter.

I dont judge anyone for their choices but it's a fact excercise is brilliant for kids and being outdoors in different places is so good for them. If they do nothing but walk and explore outside they are getting some strength in their bodies.

@thenightsky

Who says this family aren't shielding?

The OP, in her opening post.

As far as the op knows.

Maybe they don't want to tell her their personal medical history, knowing her propensity to spread gossip on the internet?

Quite @Hearhoovesthinkzebras

I think @Melonslicexx is so opinionated that she completely forgot the millions of shielded people when she called them lazy, overweight and lethargic.

Get out there and get your blood pumping, touch some leaves you bone idle sods

If they do nothing but walk and explore outside they are getting some strength in their bodies. well they’d have to eat and sleep too presumably? You don’t seem very sensible. Perhaps you are getting a little lost in the rhetoric?

@Melonslicexx

I said unless shielding above. Ofcourse it's different for anyone shielding. They ofcourse have suffered and it's isolating and I feel for them. I really do. But walking is a positive. Even if you have to drive to a field or something that's quieter.

I dont judge anyone for their choices but it's a fact excercise is brilliant for kids and being outdoors in different places is so good for them. If they do nothing but walk and explore outside they are getting some strength in their bodies.

But everyone shielding will have to manage. I'm sure we'll cope, don't worry, as we've had to do for the last four months when no one could care less about lack of exercise, socialisation or fresh air that we've had to deal with.

@youhave4substitutes

No not at all. I am aware people don't all live near a woods or whatever. There's many options for outdoor walks. The op sounds like she lives somewhere with gardens and things.

Nothing stupid about what I said at all. Walk down the road if that's all their is. It's still great for kids. They can ride bikes. They can push a dolls pram. They can just walk.

Picking sticks and stuff is quite a normal thing for little kids to do? Just like collecting conkers and stones. Picking flowers. Picking blackberries. You get the gist? Children need walks. Especially when they have lost school and everything else.

I really don't understand your attitude. I'm not making out I did something incredibly posh and rare. I was out in the countryside alot. But I also lived in a normal town for a huge amount of time. But we still have streets and a river and parks. Nothing special. Things available in most towns. Even cities have huge parks.

@youhave4substitutes

Quite *@Hearhoovesthinkzebras*

I think @Melonslicexx is so opinionated that she completely forgot the millions of shielded people when she called them lazy, overweight and lethargic.

Get out there and get your blood pumping, touch some leaves you bone idle sods

I shall do so right now. Eat some dirt and lick a few trees too to build my immunity up. (That's if my overweight, flabby body can carry me, what with my brittle bones from lack of vitamin D)

People who are shielding can go outside for exercise though.

I really don't think it is healthy to have stayed in the confines of your own home for the last 4 months without even stepping outside your front door especially if you have children. You don't have to have met up with people, but if children have not physically seen another person outside their household for 6 months (and it will be for 6 months if they don't go anywhere before school starts back) it will be very strange and I would have thought extremely daunting to be thrown into a busy classroom as your first social experience.

Yes it is going to be hard to adjust if they are one of the year groups that weren't eligible to go back before the summer holidays, but if they have at least seen other children playing in the park, walking in the High street so seeing shoppers, even if not going into the actual shops, they will have had some social contact. To have only seen your parents and the 4 walls of your house is not good.

Assuming the op is correct and they're not shielding or especially vulnerable, it's beyond ridiculous that they don't even take their children for a walk. I agree with @Melonslicexx that children really need exercise and fresh air, and I live in London. Unless they have acres of land, then I can't see how they're getting adequate exercise. It's incredibly unhealthy both mentally and physically to stay in for months on end. Hence why even when we were in a strict lockdown, the government recognised people still needed to go out and exercise and allowed it.

YouSetTheTone whilst I agree with your point, it certainly isn't the case here. We aren't not going out through fear, there is no discussion of risk etc with regard to COVID, it doesn't actualyl come up in conversation more than every couple of weeks. My kids are very vocal about lots of things, and if they wanted to go to the park or elsewhere would say.

I think it is knowing your own family.

I do have concerns about families not going due to fear, and how they are passing that fear on to others, and on to their children. We just aren't going out because we don't need or want to.

It reminds me of my own childhoood actually, we lived in the middle of nowhere and never went anywhere other than school until we were teenagers. Play dates weren't a thing then (rural community very widespread, not everyone had a phone) and although I did a few hobbies we mainly stayed at home. I had a lovely childhood and lots of fond memories of the stuff we did at home. It also made the stuff we did out of the home more special.

I think lockdown has made me realise that we did things of of fear previously - fear of missing out, fear of being bored, fear of not keeping up with others.

I'm confused.

I've not said don't eat or sleep?

I've said walking is great and getting outdoors is good. Not sure why I've offended people.

Also I've said unless you have reasons and cant go out.

Fit and healthy kids are safe to walk is what I'm saying. Im saying people who feel afraid and anxious would benefit from going outdoors.

But feel free to take the Mick?

Not sure what's wrong with Mumsnet today. Alot of nasty comments and nasty responses.

@ineedaholidaynow

People who are shielding can go outside for exercise though.

I really don't think it is healthy to have stayed in the confines of your own home for the last 4 months without even stepping outside your front door especially if you have children. You don't have to have met up with people, but if children have not physically seen another person outside their household for 6 months (and it will be for 6 months if they don't go anywhere before school starts back) it will be very strange and I would have thought extremely daunting to be thrown into a busy classroom as your first social experience.

Yes it is going to be hard to adjust if they are one of the year groups that weren't eligible to go back before the summer holidays, but if they have at least seen other children playing in the park, walking in the High street so seeing shoppers, even if not going into the actual shops, they will have had some social contact. To have only seen your parents and the 4 walls of your house is not good.

We've only been given the ok to go out for one walk a day recently. And that's as long as you can maintain two metre social distancing, what has been difficult here. Certainly can't go to the local park and do that.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

I don't understand you taking the pee out of me. I didn't say lick a tree did I? Did I say eat dirt?

I said get out and let the kids get mucky on a walk or at least run about and burn energy off. No need to laugh because you don't like that sort of thing. Many people enjoy woodland walks and things. Your attitude is immature. It's about health. If you'd rather stay home suit yourself. But plenty like to expose their children to the outdoors.