To ask how much of your income you spend on school fees? And pls tell me its worth it...

[Claliscool]

Not rich by any means.
Decided to send both children to independent school in September due to all sorts of covid and other reasons. The fees are about one third of our household income. Just bricking it slightly.

Absolutely worth it and you’re doing the right thing. My DC has always attended of a good prep - lots of staff, resources and facilities.

Have taught in both state and independent. Your DC will have much better opportunities in the private sector with far less behaviour issues if any at all.

Good luck.

Excuse My ignorance Evelefteden what’s a feeder school?

DC1 is going to prep in September. His fees will be 8% of our income. However when you add on wrap around care it becomes 13%. However if he went to the local state school, when we considered wrap around care that was 11% of our income! So we are effectively getting private school for 2% of our income!

It's complex and we are considering independent but I need to do a couple more open days.

We have an excellent primary - if you had to ask about the local children who go I know a number of the parents are considering private for secondary but not primary. So in our primary it really is a mix of children - one child whose mother delivers parcels and then one child whose mother is a high flying lawyer in fact there are Plenty of lawyers - doctors - etc but also just lots of people who are average income. What I believe is that each and every parent at our school really cares about their child's education and we are lucky to have a very involved PTA and parent volunteers. We have lots of fundraising events (pre covid) and very involved parents.

Children mix in after school activities - some at school some out of school - it's a real community.

Our local private school I think really educationally doesn't offer more but it's facilities - swimming - sport etc are excellent. I do think the private schools round here have waiting lists which does intrigue me as we also have one of the best secondaries in the UK - I just think we're in a wealthy area and for a lot of parents they have the money so think why not?!

So even though I'm considering it - in reality it's probably a bit of a waste of money. I do think what we do at home for our kids and covid has taught me this so much more - is of an incredible value.

Have you factored in school uniform costs. It is very very expensive. I had to get a few extra things this week for DD and it set me back £300. If I had bought everything from scratch it would have been over £800.
It would worry me if it was a third. We are very lucky and our costs are about 5% including all the extras.

Just reaching the end of this particular road, OP. XH and I are by no means rich, and we have had no help from grandparents etc. We were, however, determined to do it from Reception - Upper 6 come what may.

It's difficult to say what proportion of my income I'm spending on school fees ATM as my sector has been wiped out by lockdown and I haven't had any income at all for five months now. I haven't paid school fees since March as a result (school has agreed for me to pay nothing now, and smaller amounts over a longer period, once I have some money coming in again).

In a normal year, though, I would end up with about 20k pa (net), and spend £1,000 per month on one DC's school fees (I negotiated a deal with the school whereby I can pay monthly rather than termly). XH earns about 32k (net) and has also been paying about £1200 per month in school fees for two of our DC.

So that is a massive proportion of our respective incomes.

We have tiny houses, haven't been on holiday anywhere at all since the DC were pre-schoolers, don't go out, don't have takeaways or buy coffees/sandwiches, no gyms, no smartphones, read newspapers via month-long free online trial subscriptions, etc, etc, etc. We both consider those to be reasonable 'sacrifices'.

However, we have also had scholarships and, in one case, a huge bursary. I had a job at one of the DC's schools, which came with a fee reduction. So we have found other ways to reduce the fees (the amounts I quoted in the first paragraph are the amounts we have been paying for the two DC still remaining at school last year, which are both discounted prices).

Only one DC to get through sixth form, and then we will have managed it.

Neither of us has a mortgage, so that has also helped.

I believe 100% that it has been worth every single penny. One of my DC's schools in particular was so monstrously good that it's impossible to describe. We didn't do it just for the academic results (our local schools get excellent academic results). We did it for the whole package.

I considered sending mine to private, especially my eldest as our local comprehensive wasn't very good in terms of result. I'm so glad I didn't. They both achieved top A levels grades and are now studying very competitive subjects in excellent Unis.

I feel they've had a rounder view of our society, but more importantly I'm so glad we got to enjoy the luxuries as a family we couldn't have otherwise. I doubt our mortgage would now be paid either. No regrets whatsoever.

@Dandarabilla

I work in a field that is child related. What I learned throughout the years is this:

1. If a child is smart and bright, it doesn’t matter at the end of the day what school they attend because they will do well anyway. So sending them to expensive private schools is essentially a waste of money because they would do similarly well in a state school. I am not saying send them to a school where kids carry knives, terrorise teachers and take drugs in the toilet during recess because that is obviously a terrible environment, but they will do fine in a nice state school.
2. Private schools are great at pastoral care, sports, field trips and such but when it comes to actual academic activities, studying and gaining lexical knowledge they are absolutely no better than state schools. Equally, if a child is not bright and academic, they will suddenly not turn into a genius just because you send them to private. In this case they will end up working in a job with a salary that will take them long years to earn back whatever you spent on their private schooling.

1. People who send their kids to private schools (the well-to-do middle classes) essentially do so because they want their children to socialise with kids from the same financial and social background. It is a clique mentality.

1. Most children who attend private schools have private tutors in their homes after school or during the weekend. It is very common in primary in year 5 and 6 and in the final years of secondary. It is an open secret, parents don’t like to admit to this and instruct their children not to talk about this to anyone because they want others to think that their kids are naturally bright and whatever they achieve academically is achieved without any help. If private schools are so great and the parents pay them tens of thousands of pounds every year, then why do they need to pay private tutors on top of it? I don’t have to spell this out...

Yeah I don’t agree with any of that tbh. I have two kids in private school.

1. If you have a bright child in a class of 30 kids and a good portion of those are disruptive, you simply do not have the opportunity to learn in the manner you would do at private. We have 13 kids in our class. My friend moved her son from state as he was incredibly bright and got called a weirdo. He is now in private and is excelling in sciences.

2. partly true for the pastoral care, sports arts. And in my case my first indi wasn’t that good academically but our second the results speak for them selves. My friends sons school work to 18 months ahead of normal teaching practises. Once again the scores speak for themselves

3. no clique mentality. Over subscribed schools near me. I’d worked in one of the schools for a short while and even though the teacher was amazing, with 30 kids in her class there wasn’t actually a lot of time of real concentration.

4. No private tutors here and none of my friends have admitted it. How do you know this information- it sounds fascinating!

5. sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder. Why are you on this thread again?

“People who send their kids to private schools (the well-to-do middle classes) essentially do so because they want their children to socialise with kids from the same financial and social background. It is a clique mentality.”

And this in itself can be worth the fees. It can open ALOT of doors later on.

We intend to educate our children privately and the fees will be around 16% of our annual net income. PILs have offered to help with fees if we are struggling (we have a big mortgage). It's a no-brainer in my area as the state schools are terrible and there are no grammar schools within sensible commuting distance.

We pay approx 40% of our after-tax income on school fees for 2 children. But, we have a mortgage free house, and enough in savings and investments to pay for the school fees outright should we need to. We choose not to, and to keep savings and investments intact because we actually manage fine living on 60% of our after tax income. Our house is adequate but fairly modest, our lifestyle is comfortable enough, but by no means luxurious - holidays are camping/caravan, European city breaks rather than 5* luxury, we run old cars etc, but we place a lot of value on education, and not much on material possessions.

Private school has absolutely been worth it for us.

@RedtreesRedtrees

“People who send their kids to private schools (the well-to-do middle classes) essentially do so because they want their children to socialise with kids from the same financial and social background. It is a clique mentality.”

And this in itself can be worth the fees. It can open ALOT of doors later on.

Or they live next to failing schools, or aren’t related to God so can’t get into the local decent ones. Nor do they want to move house in the hope of getting into a good school.

I doubt DS mixes with many kids with my family background.

As a teacher who has worked in a good state school and currently in the independent sector in what I believe is an average school by independent sector's standards, I would say there is no comparison. If I could afford it, my own children would be independent without question.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Excuse My ignorance Evelefteden what’s a feeder school?

A school that typically sends the majority of its pupils on to the next one.

OnlyFoolsnMothers re covid and private vs state - our private school has 15 kids per class, has reopened in full to all years as it has the space and teaching staff and auxiliary staff available to do so safely. There have been a surge in enquiries because they are better equipped for small bubbles and full time provision.

Yeah the covid impact has been pretty well discussed and covered by the media. The gap in provision between the independent sector as a whole and the state sector has been staggering! The experience of many children during lockdown has been appalling and should be considered a national disgrace.

Evelefteden so a private primary to the same private secondary? Ok my school was that then too, but we did have applicants from state schools, by the end of the first year it wasn’t obvious which was which. I think if a family has competent parents and money it doesn’t matter in the younger years. I wouldn’t overly stretch myself, I’d rather save and plug the money into a private secondary. However it is obvious that people on here that can afford to send to private school use the word “stretch” without truly understanding that they aren’t having to stretch at all.

10%
Local State Comp is really bad so we don’t regret it at all. Plus the school provision during Lockdown has been brilliant compared to what kids at the 3 local comps I know of have been getting
In your shoes though OP I would say it’s not really affordable

Honestly OP, that sounds like a huge mistake, that is a massive amount of money to spend on something that, obviously depending on where you live, will have no real discernible impact on your child's life.

We are fortunate to have good local comprehensives and trust them completely, but we did look at private but were lucky it wouldn't have been more than about 7/8% of net pay. We wouldn't have even considered it if it was a third of our pay.

Ours wiped out my salary basically but I had been a sahm previously so we were used to that level .....it has restriced what we can do eg we havent moved from camping holidays to longhaul or hotel holidays...
DC school is not a fancy one so whilst there are the odd porsche in the car park there are also a bunch of qashqais and fords as well..
our main reason was size of school , pastoral and lack of support at state for SEN that didnt have an EHCP - benefits have been an higher level of behaviour (not necessarily nicer kids but more focus due size)
and a less stressed child.... seem to have the space to develop as individuals more as a group of 100 rather than 240+ per year..

Academics not all that -ok but not outstanding so I wouldnt have picked this school if dc high flyers- but by paying have the choice....

DC back in state for 6th forms which has been fine (well as fine as this year has been) and thank god as dh has had no work for 4 months...

we could have released assests for school fees if we had to so always having that back up option..

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Evelefteden so a private primary to the same private secondary? Ok my school was that then too, but we did have applicants from state schools, by the end of the first year it wasn’t obvious which was which. I think if a family has competent parents and money it doesn’t matter in the younger years. I wouldn’t overly stretch myself, I’d rather save and plug the money into a private secondary. However it is obvious that people on here that can afford to send to private school use the word “stretch” without truly understanding that they aren’t having to stretch at all.

No. A preparatory school ( private) prepares for a selective Grammar school ( state). The two schools are not affiliated, the same or connected. However 65% of the pupils leaving our prep school go in to the school next door ( the grammar school) so it’s classed as a feeder school.

We’re basically trying to avoid secondary fees.

DD at very academic and oversubscribed inde. We don't regret it.
Depends what your options are and what's the best fit for your child. Depending on school, yr7 places at inde might be easier to pin down than at yr9, so better to start at inde and review the situation, than start at state, change your mind and be disappointed.

DH and I earn similar salaries. Our school fees are 25% of pur take home income however we don't have a mortgage so that makes a big difference. I don't think we'd be comfortable with more, if we had a mortgage we wouldn't do it either.

DH has just lost his job so now its a nightmare situation. Due to the fees we don't really have a lot of savings either.

I wouldn't necessarily do anything differently other than maybe have put away a bit more money to keep us going during times like this. I still wouldn't not send them to the school they're at but it is worrying at the moment until DH finds a job.

At times I have wished we didn't make the decision in the first place as we wouldnt know any different but it has been really good for them and now I don't regret it.

I would say if you are at all worried about affording fees and the state option is good, then go for the state school. Spending 13 years worrying about finances is no fun. If money is an issue, use it to buy a house in the catchment of an outstanding state school and hire a tutor if necessary.

Hardly anybody can easily afford school fees, most parents have to make sacrifices. For most it is a choice for education, and against shiny cars, big houses etc.
Over the last term, my kids had a seamless education, first online, and then the whole school back in June. I‘m cery happy with out choice