To ask how much of your income you spend on school fees? And pls tell me its worth it...

[Claliscool]

Not rich by any means.
Decided to send both children to independent school in September due to all sorts of covid and other reasons. The fees are about one third of our household income. Just bricking it slightly.

Specialist teachers

None of the professional or PhDs in my friendship group went to private school. You'd be far better off clearing the mortgage/ investing in their interests and hobbies and having a bit spare for quality family holidays, together. Childhood is too short!

You can only assess ‘worth’ based on why you are choosing independent education. For us it was never about the exams ( two probably did better than they would in State and one about the same) but I believe firmly that exams should be the by product and not the purpose of education. Education is the one gift that can never be taken away from you and in that it’s precious .

We chose a school with a broad curriculum of both examined and non examined subjects and lots of extra curriculas to develop the ‘soft skills’ . It’s not super selective but is selective to some extent , probably most are in the top half but there are plenty who might for example Find maths difficult but are a brilliant artist or tuba player for example .

I wanted outdoor space , long playtimes between lessons , school lunches , specialist teaching below 11 rather than the endless ‘topics’ , and crucially lots of opportunities to stretch them sideways and push them out of their comfort zone. Drama, music, sport for everyone and not just with those already confident enough to push themselves forward.And in the case of one child significant support with SPLD.

I freely acknowledge that we have been privileged to be able to afford this , but, and it’s a significant but, we have done it out of income , and it has come at a cost. The schools we chose were not the most exclusive either , approx one third receive help with the fees through bursaries ,

I don’t regret it at all but plenty would say that the local highly regarded secondary would have got them the same exam results .

yes childhood is too short. i agree with that. But I think our school for DS1 in particular is giving him a great childhood. The pastoral care is exceptional and the class sizes are small which suit him.

Also... he is a child who has issues and is a magnet for bullies. Our school stamps on that really hard. I thought that he can keep school and home spearate because we have to travel to school. It is separate if you see what I mean.

i guess what I ams aying is - horses for courses. We made a conscious decision and have been reinforced in that decision many times over the years. Confirmaiton bias perhaps as a pp said, but who cares? It works for us. We can afford it. That's it really.

It’s an extremely silly question to ask whether private education is worth it. Whether or not anything in life is “worth it” is an entirely personal calculation. If you think it is worth it, then it is worth it, even if I think you’re an idiot and that there are far more cost effective ways of prioritising a child’s education.

And in all honesty, other people’s justifications are very boring to read.

that's just it, it really is horses for courses.

you'll always get posters saying its not worth it or call it boasting who have no experience whatsoever of the indy sector, and plenty of indy parents who'll say it wasn't worth it. There are good and bad schools in both sectors. Brace yourself for family and friends to suddenly voice their opinion at you too, it brings out the judgement and insecurities in people for all sorts of reasons. If its an option great, but state or indy always do thorough legwork on whether it will suit your DC and bollocks to how everyone else chooses to educate their own kids, frankly.

To be honest: if you cannot see and feel the difference between an independent school and your state school then don’t pay for the independent! It needs to tick your boxes. No one else’s.

All this PhD stuff is nonsense. They love education and it’s a means to an end. Loads of people from private schools don’t do PhDs because the bulk of the population don’t need to in order to be successful! Independent school tends to be a way of life and a pathway through life if you grab it.

It's about 6% for us now but probably more like 25% at the beginning although that was on 1 income so I could have gone back to work had we needed me to.

In my opinion it's absolutely worth it and their schools are amazing.

My daughter goes to a very academic school with a vast range of pupils from different financial backgrounds. There are a lot of scholarships and bursaries available. Some girls live in mansions with yachts etc, others live in 2 up/2 down houses. My daughter does not differentiate between the two and there is no snobbery. Of course the girls might ooh and ahh at the mansion but they know it's not exactly normal. The girls respect each other for who they are, not from where they come from.

My son is at a less competitive school with excellent pastoral care and has thrived. He has just finished Y9.

However his prep school which is highly regarded in this area, was terrible, so, much like state schools there are good and bad in the private sector too. The advantage is that we can move him. To be honest I hadn't realised how bad the school had been for him until he'd moved to his current school.

One is the things I like about the private sector is that I can choose the right school for each child. Even though mine are both secondary, they go to different schools which we feel brings out the best in them.

I hope that you choose the right school for your child whether it's private or state.

Wow OP! I didnt realise Covid19 is a disease of the poorer classes

Didn’t Prince Charles have it?

I've experienced both and I'd say don't bother unless your local state school is absolutely dire and you can comfortably afford it with no discernable difference in lifestyle.

2 older children attended prestigious independent, 3rd child grammar, 4th child local state. Older 2 were happy, good exam results but no real difference in teaching quality (in some cases dire) or outcomes. 3rd child is most academically successful, 4th child is happiest, least pressured with most free time (no travel - 10 min walk).

Within reason children achieve what they're capable of but when you're paying school fees you like to think you're getting a premium product. With hindsight it's all smoke and mirrors and not worth it IMO. Spend the money enjoying life, great holidays, buying in help at home to make life less stressful and you can spend on their specific hobbies and interests outside school.

The most academically successful child I know attended local state comp 'requires improvement'. Go figure - it's about individual ability, personal drive and self-motivation with a sprinkling of parental encouragement and support (not toxic micro-management).

I think I would go so far as to say that other people’s justifications for using private education just read as mildly nauseating navel gazing exercises. They are no help whatsoever to another person’s personal calculations, they just reveal the writer’s unwitting prejudices, and opinions of their own children’s special characteristics.

Nauseating?! sorry that made me laugh.

People making their own decisions for how they spend their own money?

I seriously don't care how other people spend their money. cars. Holidays. Whatever.

@Serin all the independents around where we are are reporting increased enquiries from people who have had poor experiences of schools , both state and independent, during lockdown. Parents with the means to pay are worried about another long period with no teaching . Whilst Teams lessons are not the holy grail that some believe some schools have undeniably performed better than others.

Talking to a couple of independent school teachers, they reckon that their year 10 and 12s are about 4 weeks ahead of where they would have been In the syllabus ( no distractions). They have had lessons , homework, exams, prediction grades etc as well as online extra curricular clubs , pastoral support, UCAS advice etc for all year groups . Some state have also been able to do this but many haven’t for Understandable reasons but sadly I think the gap between schools who have been actively teaching And those who haven’t is growing.

BahMooQuack - yes, nauseating, because it’s a personal decision of no practical help to anyone else, but very revealing of personality and motivations, thus unnecessarily opening posters up to others’ unwelcome judgements. You might as well just post that you made the decisions you did because you are who you are and have the circumstances that you have, for all the use your calculations will have to others.

1 dc, prep age will be 7.5% of our net income. 33% for basic fees would worry me a lot, probably to the point that I wouldn't consider it.

@Walkaround I don’t know, I think if people can filter out all the latent judgement then there is actually some sound advice and information on here. If people can’t filter it out then that’s their own problem and their view would be skewed by confirmation bias anyway, in which case you might as well not bother asking (such is the way of MN)

I think it is useful reading others’ views - otherwise why read any thread on MN?

I think I did exactly that though.

We made the decisoons we did based on the situation we are in.

[shrugs]

that's it really. Explaining it is not a justification per se, but describing why. 'Justification' and 'nauseating' implies we need to answer for ourselves to others. I dont feel i need to answer to anyone. But I do not mind sharing why it was right for us and why it was 'worth it' as that is what the Op asked after all.

From a purely financial perspective, 33% of income is a very high proportion of income to spend on children’s education per year. Whether it is sustainable or not depends on security of income, variability of that and other expenses, other commitments and goals, saving capacity, appetite for risk, and the uncertainty of future events.

0% of our day to day income, it comes out of DHs yearly bonus. Otherwise it would be 20% which while doable would be a stretch for us

ConiferGate and BahMooQuack - I really don’t think people should bother asking why other people they do not know chose unnamed private schools in unnamed areas for their unknown children. Asking what proportion of their income they are spending can be a useful question from a financial planning perspective, to get an idea of whether your own plans sound financially viable, but I still do not get the value of the other bit at all, unless you actually want to share your unconscious biases with the world.

Op asked if it was worth it. Is aid yes and why.

That's what an anonymous forum based around chat, discussion and opinions is for?

I think tbh it is your unconscious biases at play. You disagree with decisions othert people are making and then making an issue of it.

That's up to you.

@Walkaround that’s for you to take up with the OP then isn’t it, not with people who are responding to the question. In this context, I can’t imagine anyone going asking people irl what proportion of their income is spent on fees. So it’s a perfectly reasonable benchmark to think about, and people have also offered other contributions about extra costs or considerations, and shared mistakes they made.