Over the top teacher gifts

[SausagesSausagesSausages]

Our small village primary PTA has been organizing for all the teachers to have a day at the local very expensive day spa, and has been piling the pressure on parents to donate to this., saying individual names will be on the gift cards. It’s a very expensive gift, and I feel poor taste when there are families who are concerned about losing their jobs. We are in a reasonably wealthy area, although not all families are in this category. AIBU to say no way? I could probably afford it but I think it’s poor taste. BTW they really haven’t gone above and beyond, not compared to other schools.

I'd feel so uncomfortable with this if I were a teacher.

I really do not understand the whole idea of teacher gifts. My son starts school in September so I'm not at this stage yet, but I can't remember ever giving anything as a child (and my mum was a teacher l!).

Say no. Stick to your guns.

I just don't engage with this nonsense.

Any teacher who would like this, probably shouldn't be given it. All the teachers I know love the presents thought out by children with love. DD's homemade, themed pen-holder is still on her old teachers desk. I checked.

I bought a plant for my daughters teacher.

Very poor taste, I agree. And who knows if all the teachers would even enjoy a spa day? I'd loathe it!

I am a teacher and I agree with the previous poster. This would make me uncomfortable at the best of times, let alone at the moment. I’m secondary, though, so teacher gifts are pretty alien to me and I nearly had a weep when two of my lovely 16 year old girls gave me a box of Roses at Christmas this year.

This seems ott. The teachers may not even enjoy it!

In my daughters class those who wanted to donated up to £5 each which bought 3 high street voucher suitable for multiple shops of equal amounts for the 3 staff.

I voted YABU although I'm sort of on the fence. I'm a teacher and I'm keeping up zoom calls with students in the summer holiday and just generally giving up so much extra time outside school hours. One of my classes (I'm in secondary) clubbed together to give me a really generous john Lewis voucher (it would only have been about 4-5 quid per student but obvs that added up) and it's helped me buy a new car seat for my upcoming new baby. I agree that a spa day might not be as good as a voucher, that bit is slightly odd. But teachers give so much of themselves to your children and really help look after them. Everyone chipping in a small amount really adds up and I'm so touched when they do that. You could just contribute a few quid.

I am a teacher and was given this as a gift. I hated it. The pressure to use it was awful. As a parent I always sat that I've done my own thing and don't contribute to the whip round. It's a terrible pressure.

Grossly wrong and ott. It's to curry favour with the teachers. It's wrong.

We've just done a thank you card, and DD made a little cardboard mouse face to stick inside as a gift.

I'm sure teachers appreciate expensive gifts but do these parents also get them for all the TAs, all the office staff, the site supervisor, the pastoral team, the after-school club staff? They all work hard all year too.

If I was spending money I'd prefer it went to the lower-paid staff, TBH. Every single teacher in DD's school earns more than I do!

If you don’t want to/can’t afford to pay, don’t pay. People who do want to pay however shouldn’t be stopped from doing so just because you feel bad.

We are into triple digit teacher gifts round here, but ALL the teachers. Bugger that. Just ignore.

@NotShiny

Grossly wrong and ott. It's to curry favour with the teachers. It's wrong.

I’m secondary so we don’t get presents much, and I don’t want them, but there’s always somebody who says something like this and I don’t get it. Curry favour? For what purpose? What can the teacher do if they favour you? What influence do I have that I’m not aware of? Apart from anything else any feelings I have about the parent is not linked in my mind to the child anyway...

We've been told not to give presents to teachers this year as they want to limit what's brought into school in the current situation. Highly sensible imho.

Crikey, I'm sending some posh biscuits in for DDs teachers. Chocolates at Xmas. It's just meant to be a small gesture of appreciation surely!?

Spa days??? Never heard the like. Bloody daft.

@heartsonacake

If you don’t want to/can’t afford to pay, don’t pay. People who do want to pay however shouldn’t be stopped from doing so just because you feel bad.

I disagree actually. As a SW I wasn't allowed presents, even though we also went above and beyond. Housing worker ditto. Rehab, double, triple no.

Why are teachers routinely given expensive gifts when other caring professionals are banned from accepting them?

I think it’s fine to collect for Teacher gifts. Many parents like to give a little something at the end of the year, and would rather hand over £5 to the organiser than run around trying to find a candle and a card for the same amount. And it is nice for teachers to have one decent gift instead of lots of little things. But the organisers putting pressure on people to contribute is absolutely not on. And getting them a spa day rather than vouchers is a bit random. I’d hate to have a spa day with my colleagues!

I certainly wouldn't be paying into anything like that.

I have got the kids to make their own thank you cards for their class teachers and ta's and also for the ones who have been in their pods since they went back at the beginning of June.

I have bought a small packet of flower seeds, a chocolate bar (standard size) and a pen to go in each envelope. I am also going to add a thank you message in each one.

With all the changes between normal classes and pods, they have had 10 teachers and ta's between them - and even without that I wouldn't do anything too much anyway.

It's the thought that counts :)

If you don’t want to/can’t afford to pay, don’t pay. People who do want to pay however shouldn’t be stopped from doing so just because you feel bad.

Yes this.

I always find posters on here very odd about teacher gifts. Give what you can/want to, or don’t,

Whoops

But don’t interfere with others or decide it’s ‘poor taste’ or ‘wrong’. How ridiculous.

As a teacher I think I would have to decline this.

Was once bought a box of biscuits that were at least £50 (thought they were beautiful and wanted to get similar for my own children’s teachers, needless to say they didn’t!). TBH I was a little mortified that someone would spend that much on me for doing what is my job. Yes, teachers give a lot and work beyond their remit, but they do that because they want to, because we care. A bottle of wine, or even better, a note from the student or their parents is more than enough.

My office is papered with the cards I have received over the years - makes me smile every time I walk in. No gift will ever last as long or bring me as much joy (or a confidence boost when I need it!).

Also meant to say, many jobs go above and beyond. Nurses, midwives, the lady at the post office helping me to find a lost parcel. I bought my midwives a box of biscuits, wouldn’t dream of chipping in with my NCT group to buy a spa day!

Erm, quite simply I would not do it, I've never done teacher gifts however. I think that's just ridiculous. If anything most teachers have had it easy compared to normal times, and I work in a school.

Total waste of money.

Some people would hate the idea of a spa day - can they exchange their voucher for something that they would actually enjoy?

Presumably they all get an individual voucher and are not expected to go together as a group - imagine sitting in a jacuzzi with the people you work with!

Our head sent out a letter saying 'please, no gifts, a handmade card or letter would be plenty, if people really wanted to'
People struggling to feed kids never mind pay for a spa day...