Over the top teacher gifts

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Our small village primary PTA has been organizing for all the teachers to have a day at the local very expensive day spa, and has been piling the pressure on parents to donate to this., saying individual names will be on the gift cards. It’s a very expensive gift, and I feel poor taste when there are families who are concerned about losing their jobs. We are in a reasonably wealthy area, although not all families are in this category. AIBU to say no way? I could probably afford it but I think it’s poor taste. BTW they really haven’t gone above and beyond, not compared to other schools.

Totally agree. We have just presented our teachers with £300 vouchers in our class. Way, way excessive. I like the teacher, but blimey. And I agree with the PP who was a social worker - I'm also public sector and lucky if I so much as get a thank you from the SCHOOLS that I support, at the end of the year, I'm also not allowed to accept presents and have had one thank you gift £1 chocolates, in 20 years. It's unfair and getting totally eXcessive. I've decided from on I won't be bothering and will just continue sending a nice thank you card.

I genuinely can’t think of a worse gift than going to a spa with my colleagues for a day. Except syphilis, though it would be a close run thing.

This makes me think someone on the PTA owns the spa! What an inappropriate gift to force onto someone at this time! If someone wants to go to a spa then fine but lot's of people don't want to go in a shop and would they have to go together and wear cossies with their colleagues - sounds horrendous.

Really OTT. I have a friend who makes extremely reasonably priced jewellery so I sometimes buy bracelets for the teacher & TA. DD11 has a male teacher in her bubble & really doesn’t like him so I won’t get anything for him. I haven’t even seen him or the TA because of social distancing.

Why are teachers routinely given expensive gifts

They're not. I taught for 40 years, and the only place I've heard of gifts beyond the value of a box of Roses or a bottle of wine, is Mumsnet.

None of the schools I worked at had a culture of encouraging gift giving at all. A card, a heartfelt message of thanks from a parent or a little handmade something were valued, but not remotely expected.

Honestly? As a teacher I'd say my favourite gifts are:

1. A lovely card/email/note. I will keep these in a box, and on those days where I feel utterly broken I'll get them out, read them again, have a cry and remember why I do the job.
2. Wine.

Yup. I require no more than one nice bottle of plonk and a card. I'll be made up with that.

Sounds like my Dcs primary OP. One year it was suggested the parents all donated £10 each. That would be over £300 between two members of staff for a Christmas gift. Just ridiculous!

Does one of the more active members of the PTA happen to own said spa by any chance?

What a ridiculous idea for a present. It's going to be a ball ache for the teachers to decide on a date when they can all go and enjoy the spa. Also, have they heard there's a pandemic going on? Mmmm- hot, steamy corona germs 🤢 Also, what if some teachers don't like spas or have cultural/religious restrictions re: exposing their bodies? Get your child's teacher a lovely hand cream/candle/box of chocolates or whatever. Leave this bunch of crazies to it.

I also agree it's v poor taste. I am not a teacher but I couldn't accept it. As pp have said it seems disproportionate with all the people struggling and perhaps even losing their jobs. I'd go against it and not feel pressured to pay.

Ours is optional - Eveyone contributes the same amount but you can opt out which I do - mainly because we have our own tradition of a teacher present.

I'm going totally against the grain however we got gifted a spa day today from a collection from the parents and I think it's a wonderful gift! It's a really kind thought- as a school we have gone above and beyond and the parents wanted to thank us. Just because I love this gift does not me an awful teacher. Never once did we ask for gifts or expect them - however this is an amazing gift that I'm so excited for! It's vouchers that last so I'll go when I can. Maybe it's not for everybody but I'm grateful x

I wouldn't contribute to something like this, I think it's too much to expect parents to do this - especially in today's circumstances! I would contact the PTA and explain my reasons - it may be that they decide to do this each year

Teachers get paid to work why should they get gifts??? I don't get gifts in my office job, I work in the public sector and serve the public/nation.

Why shouldn't they get gifts - NHS get paid yet get discounts everywhere ( which is well deserved ). Again never expected but a nice treat at the end of the year x my children love giving their teachers gifts x

What makes people think that a spa day will always be a successful gift?

Many of my friends would be absolutely horrified by a spa gift because of body confidence issues, issues with the colleagues you have to go with, not liking the pamper treatment etc.

I like spas but the thought of getting my kit off with people I work with gives me palpitations!

We just do a box of nice chocolates and a card. I wouldn't get involved in a spa giftcard. Feels overly familiar and presumptuous.

If it helps, OP, it all stops when they get to Secondary! These sorts of collections don’t happen and even cards are few and far between. Absolutely fine by me as a teacher-whole class gifts are not really necessary but fine if you want to participate.
Just ignore!

No and No.

A thank you.
A thank you card.
A box of chocs.
A bunch of cheap flowers.
This is sweet. No more than this needed,

SPA day? Ridiculous

Any teacher who would like this, probably shouldn't be given it.

Bit harsh!

DD's homemade, themed pen-holder is still on her old teachers desk. I checked.

I can just imagine the conversation in the staffroom... "And I still have to keep that bloody pen holder on my desk because Mrs Pratchett is just the sort of parent who would check that I haven't thrown it away."

It's cringe OP, way OTT! What's wrong with a thank you card... that kind of thing must make teachers uncomfortable (and honestly if a teacher voiced that they felt the deserved a gift they wouldn't get anything out of me).

My dd is in reception and there are at least 6 staff in there plus the dinner ladies, admin staff and P.E. teacher. Too many staff to be getting extravagant gifts even as a group, so I've ordered a box of treats from a local, very popular, bakery.

So much wrong with this. In the current circumstances it’s insensitive. Putting individual names on the card is tantamount to naming and shaming. A spa day with colleagues would be a pretty awkward gift; and lastly if the teachers are LA employees they wouldn’t be able to accept a gift of that value anyway (would be different at an Academy)

Our class reps wanted £100 per person contribution it was a NO from me. Bloody stupid.

It isn’t an academy but it is a c of e school, it sets it’s own admissions criteria but is still under the local LEA I think.

I worked in a local primary school where most of the staff couldn’t stand one another. This gift would’ve gone down like a lead balloon.