To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks

[Fuckinellitsme]

Apologies for another mask thread.

First of all, I'm not an 'anti masker', I absolutely see the need and the importance of wearing them. I'm unable to wear one myself - I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I've tried to wear one, the resulting attack has left me bedbound for days. I want to wear one, but I can't. I also have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm incredibly grateful to all the people who do wear masks, therefore protecting others and especially those in higher risk groups (though not vulnerable enough to be shielding) like me.

However. I've seen some truly awful comments on here in the last few days directed at those who don't wear masks. We should be treated like lepers if we enter a shop without one, for example, or should be banned from them outright. And we ought to stay at home if we are exempt, not use public transport or go shopping or go to work. We have 'made up' health issues and disabilities and are 'woe is me' 'snowflakes'. I've also encountered bus passengers passing comment and tutting about my lack of mask.

Those of us who can't wear a mask (and are acting within the law/guidelines, being exempt) still need to go about our business. It would be lovely if we could do so without fear of comment or judgement. I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt.

The nastiness and ableist comments on here (and elsewhere) in the past few days have been genuinely upsetting for those of us unable to wear masks. Please don't assume we're all stupid/selfish/conspiracy theorists/don't care about your health, or that it's a choice. For many, choice doesn't come into it.

A bit of empathy goes a long way, especially in these weird times.

How so? Say I serve someone, who the next day comes down with Covid and they infect me? How is that not one on one? What if I then get seriously ill or worse from that? Is that ok?

Right. My last post on this becuase I really need to do.something more useful.

There might one person who might have covid and who might be infectious and who might get close enough to you to infect you. If that person is also someone who isn't wearing a mask just because they don't fancy it then they have been unreasonable yes. But for all those factors to come together is a small risk. You can't require 66.6 million people to wear a mask, regardless of any legitimate reasons not to, in a doomed attempt to create a 100% safe environment for yourself.

So the doctors didn't tell you to hide under a rock until all risk has disappeared.
Erring on the side of caution doesn't mean never be at any risk.

You will have to accept some risk, as you have before this.

And for the record, meeting someone who's infected could kill me too. As it could kill the OP and, really, anyone on this thread.
Unless you've had it, for all we know, we could die from it.

"so everyone on this thread is arguing the rights of people not wearing masks trumps the most vulnerable. At least be honest enough to admit it."

The problem is you can only see one form of "most vulnerable". Other people are also very vulnerable but you continually show complete lack of regard for them.

was granted PIP, and I don't have half the absolute laundry list of conditions you do (heart failure? Chronic low oxygen levels anyone else would be put on hospital oxygen for?) And I can walk with a stick and go to the loo unaided too. If I was granted it, I'm very sure someone with your far more serious and complex list of conditions would be granted it.

Besides upthread you insisted that your refusal to apply was a moral one, and that you'd chosen not to apply because you didn't believe in benefits shirkers and people living off the state.

It's your choice. But we all have to take responsibility for our choices, even if the options we have to chose from are all crappy ones.

@DappledThings

How so? Say I serve someone, who the next day comes down with Covid and they infect me? How is that not one on one? What if I then get seriously ill or worse from that? Is that ok?

Right. My last post on this becuase I really need to do.something more useful.

There might one person who might have covid and who might be infectious and who might get close enough to you to infect you. If that person is also someone who isn't wearing a mask just because they don't fancy it then they have been unreasonable yes. But for all those factors to come together is a small risk. You can't require 66.6 million people to wear a mask, regardless of any legitimate reasons not to, in a doomed attempt to create a 100% safe environment for yourself.

And yet many many countries in the world are mandating exactly that. Even in Barcelona on the beach apparently. Funny how so many countries have got it so wrong

Lweji

Yes, there are many risks in life and I do my best to mitigate those. I wear a seatbelt in case of an accident. I don't think "fuck it, I won't bother. A jumbo jet could land on my head or I could trip up the curb and break my neck, so I won't bother with a seat belt".

Many things that are a risk to me I can do something about. It's up to me to mitigate my risk. I have a list of foods to avoid to avoid infection, for example, because of the immunosuppressants so I don't eat those. I don't have to face a random stranger pushing unpasteurised cheese down my throat 300 times a day, with the risk that one out of 4000 cheeses might be deadly do I?

In my opinion this sums up what the thread was intended to be about:

"I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt." (see original post).

So benefit of doubt + appropriate social distancing (and hand washing etc).

I've said it on this thread previously but we need a decent public health campaign explaining the benefits of masks, why they are being introduced now and spelling out the exemptions. But I suspect some in Government are quite happy that we'll end up fighting out between ourselves, it's a great distraction and a further way of dividing society and giving us someone else to blame.

[quote ItsNotJustAboutYou]@Hearhoovesthinkzebras Please can you stop derailing OPs thread to make it all about you and PIP? You could start another thread and I'm sure people will help, or read the information I have linked.

I assume you are unable to answer my questions on the actual topic. [/quote]
hahahahhahah that's a good one!

No she can't. She can't help herself. It's all me me me me me and no consideration for anyone else.

She has it worst. Everyone else with disabilities and trauma doesn't matter. They have to suck up wearing a mask to keep HER safe.

Utterly, utterly self-centred and totally lacking in any empathy whatsoever.

On a more pleasant note we were back at the charity shop this morning and we have implemented a counting system to make sure there aren't too many people in hte shop. Someone on the door counting people in, pointing them in direction of the sanitiser if they wish to use it. And asking "Are you able to wear a mask"? One woman today said "No, I can't". Absolutely fine Mrs Customer, off you go and have a nice browse. No judgement in here.

was granted PIP, and I don't have half the absolute laundry list of conditions you do (heart failure? Chronic low oxygen levels anyone else would be put on hospital oxygen for?)

Sorry, you're wrong about the oxygen and I don't appreciate being called a liar. You obviously don't have knowledge of this and so you are utterly wrong to call me a liar based on your lack of knowledge.

I'm sorry if you don't believe it but those are my sats and supplemental oxygen has no effect on them.

I think it would be more helpful to this thread topic and the OP if we stuck to the topic in general instead of one particular persons needs.

Shall we all agree not to derail the thread further?

AIBU to ask people to show a little more understanding towards those not wearing masks?

YANBU!

I don't have to face a random stranger pushing unpasteurised cheese down my throat 300 times a day, with the risk that one out of 4000 cheeses might be deadly do I?

Neither the unmasked stranger will be breathing up your nose.
Even less so if you're wearing a good protective mask and a visor. But keep ignoring that you can reinforce your own PPE, and keep complaining that the odd person without a mask may kill you.

I'll just add this.
I'm pro masks, but the fact is that while generic use is of benefit and reduces spread in the community, we do not know if the person sitting next to us or in front of us is wearing a mask that will let most particles, and droplets through.
Even if you are only around people with masks you are still at risk.
If you are susceptible, find the best way to protect yourself and assume that anyone else is a risk to you. Mask or no mask.

Again... FFP2 and visor and hand disinfectant.

God I would love someone to stuff cheese down my throat 300 times a day. It would save me a job and free up my hands for something else.

Like talking about masks! YANBU OP

@SockYarn I've missed charity shops so much! It hadn't occurred to me that they've reopened. I am unreasonably excited at this news

@ItsNotJustAboutYou

I think it would be more helpful to this thread topic and the OP if we stuck to the topic in general instead of one particular persons needs.

Shall we all agree not to derail the thread further?

AIBU to ask people to show a little more understanding towards those not wearing masks?

YANBU!

@ItsNotJustAboutYou THANK YOU! 😂

...mmmmm cheeeese...

@blurpityblurp

was granted PIP, and I don't have half the absolute laundry list of conditions you do (heart failure? Chronic low oxygen levels anyone else would be put on hospital oxygen for?) And I can walk with a stick and go to the loo unaided too. If I was granted it, I'm very sure someone with your far more serious and complex list of conditions would be granted it.

Besides upthread you insisted that your refusal to apply was a moral one, and that you'd chosen not to apply because you didn't believe in benefits shirkers and people living off the state.

It's your choice. But we all have to take responsibility for our choices, even if the options we have to chose from are all crappy ones.

Good for you for getting PIP. I'm sure many people can claim it.

I don't have any issue with people legitimately claiming and I never once called people scroungers, please don't lie about what I said.

I said I am not prepared to exaggerate or focus on my worst day just to make a claim. If I can claim it will be based on an honest description of my condition. Instead I'm told to say that I can't do something rather than I can do it but with pain. To say I can't do it is dishonest and I'm not going to say it.

How can I go to work doing a physical job but then claim that I can't walk unassisted or can't wash or dress myself or cook a basic meal like pasta?

Just make sure you don't breathe on my cheese, OP.

I love charity shops. They are usually so small round here though that I have to go alone and if I'm using a chair, can't go at all in some!

We have a charity book shop. I think I shall go tomorrow. We also have a charity furniture shop which is amazing, I furnished pretty much my whole house where I lived before for about £150. I love second (third, fourth) hand furniture and thinking of all the houses and people who have loved it.

@Lweji

Just make sure you don't breathe on my cheese, OP.

No guarantees, @Lweji.

This thread does highlight an issue with the impact this is going to have upon so many people where we are becoming to think everyone is a risk and going to kill us. The levels of fear aren’t sustainable and are dangerous.

We need to learn to be realistic in our risk assessments. Ds was nearly killed as a baby by a virus caused by the common cold. But I had to learn to not wrap him in cotton wool and be scared of everyone because of the risk they posed because otherwise that would have ruined both of our mental health.

He has been shielding throughout this period but we have started making steps to get out more and see loved ones again because our mental health was suffering.

We can’t live in constant fear. It’s not healthy. Of course we need to be aware but we need to be sensible aware.

Did anyone see the thread where it was deemed better to wrap an old potato in tinfoil as a vehicle for a child to blow out candles, than a birthday cake?

I wonder if the blowing out candles would be less risky wearing a mask? But then there would be a risk of setting fire to a child's face. I bet I could find an old fashioned candle snuffer in my sideboard charity shop. This could be a business opportunity.

Could I ask a serious question of mask wearers? If you have something like hay fever or a persistent cough, what do you do? Do you replace the mask each time?

I haven't RTFT but I completely agree, OP

My mother's in her late 60s, suffers really badly with COPD and can't wear anything covering her face (even a visor) because it makes her so short of breath.

She stays at home most of the time but has to go shopping once a week. The comments she's had in shops are awful and this even before masks have become compulsory. Luckily my mum's got rhino skin and won't hesitate to give people a short shrift but I do feel for people who are more sensitive.

OP. I totally understand your request for others to show understanding to those who are genuinely unable to wear a face covering. I have a condition giving that same type of trigeminal neuralgia pain down both arms and hands and cannot wear anything with sleeves, even in harsh winter weather.

I do not understand the view that everyone else need to take responsibity for one person who is so focused on themselves. I'm not saying these people are right or wrong, just that I don't understand their 'strongminded and unshakeable' opinions.

And strangely enough, my life isn't just about work (though thanks to Covid it's not that much else). If I need to go on public transport, which I do need to do to get to hospital appointments, my employer won't be of any help. Maybe you have suggestions for that too

If you are in the shielding group the hospital (or place of appointment) should be arranging transport for you whereby you won't be put at risk during your journey to and from your appointment.

They have to arrange transport for any patient who is unable to travel safely to their appoint because of a health/medical condition. You need to call hospital transport and sort this out ASAP.

I am shielding. I cannot wear a mask. I'm struggling trying to accommodate my thoughts and feelings of both sides of the mask discussion.

But, I firmly belive it is up to me to do the best I can MYSELF to KEEP ME SAFE. I do not expect everyone else to change their way of living just because I am shielding and I cannot wear a face covering.

It's shit. It's life as it is now. Stop demanding things, it's not pleasant to read. (this is not directed at the OP)

My family are getting through shitloads of masks without excessive coughing. I've made fabric ones so we aren't filling landfill and they're cheaper long term. Now I worry they should be three layers. I triple pleat them though. Does anyone make their own?

See I'm doing my bit even if I can't wear them myself.