To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks

[Fuckinellitsme]

Apologies for another mask thread.

First of all, I'm not an 'anti masker', I absolutely see the need and the importance of wearing them. I'm unable to wear one myself - I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I've tried to wear one, the resulting attack has left me bedbound for days. I want to wear one, but I can't. I also have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm incredibly grateful to all the people who do wear masks, therefore protecting others and especially those in higher risk groups (though not vulnerable enough to be shielding) like me.

However. I've seen some truly awful comments on here in the last few days directed at those who don't wear masks. We should be treated like lepers if we enter a shop without one, for example, or should be banned from them outright. And we ought to stay at home if we are exempt, not use public transport or go shopping or go to work. We have 'made up' health issues and disabilities and are 'woe is me' 'snowflakes'. I've also encountered bus passengers passing comment and tutting about my lack of mask.

Those of us who can't wear a mask (and are acting within the law/guidelines, being exempt) still need to go about our business. It would be lovely if we could do so without fear of comment or judgement. I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt.

The nastiness and ableist comments on here (and elsewhere) in the past few days have been genuinely upsetting for those of us unable to wear masks. Please don't assume we're all stupid/selfish/conspiracy theorists/don't care about your health, or that it's a choice. For many, choice doesn't come into it.

A bit of empathy goes a long way, especially in these weird times.

If people don't wear a mask, I'm not fussed but would prefer they kept 2m away

That works both ways. I can't wear a mask and will continue to stay at least 2m away from people and would like them to do the same. The problem is many mask wearers ignore SD once they've got their magic talisman.

That says it’s zero points if you can clean yourself without special aids. So if you need any sort of extra aids then you would get two points

Right. But I don't need any special aids to clean myself. That isn't my issue. It's needing to go urgently and multiple times, passing blood. Not needing help to clean myself.

@BamboozledandBefuddled definitely! I want people to distance with or without a mask. I'm happy to wear one (although I won't be going anywhere except the doctors to need it) but am enraged at people who even in the doctors insist on breathing down my neck
As one man said to me "you're a young healthy girl"
No, not quite!

So basically if you cannot by any stretch wear a mask, don't. If you can do. And everyone stay apart and don't presume average looking people are all fit and well. Job done

Where can you get help for PIP?

CAB. At the risk of derailing (sorry OP), you don't seem to grasp what PIP is for. It's not a sliding scale of how unwell you are as some sort of compensation, it's to try and ensure that those who require items or services to make their life that bit more manageable have a bit more money to do so. The toilet example, if you require aids to go then you would most likely need to fund them yourself, which means you would benefit from PIP. It is more complex than that of course, but there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding around it, and oh well they're not as ill as me why don't I get it. Of course the system sucks and many people have to contest the decision, but the premise of it remains the same.

basically if you cannot by any stretch wear a mask, don't. If you can do. And everyone stay apart and don't presume average looking people are all fit and well. Job done

10000% this!

So basically if you cannot by any stretch wear a mask, don't. If you can do. And everyone stay apart and don't presume average looking people are all fit and well. Job done

Yep, it really is that simple. If only!

I ask a question and say "Please don't just repeat me me me, actually think about others not just yourself for once. I've asked if you can write a post not mentioning yourself and I genuinely don't think you"

First sentence of reply "But having a reason for being exempt does not stop you from posing a risk to me"

May I summarise?

*You are thinking about yourself and no one else (is the rest of the population) affected by this issue. You don't approve of the legislation as it stands, and you would like it to be changed as you believe the legislation and people exercising their rights under this legislation puts you at risk. I suggest you write to the government.

I think we all know your position now as you have made this all about you. I also suggest people engage with the OP (and others) rather then encouraging the spectacular selfish detail to make this The HoovesShow. I certainly won't be engaging with you.

Perhaps start your own threads if you want to constantly talk about yourself instead of hijacking other people's who are trying to have a general discussion about an issue which affects everyone in the U.K., not just you*

But there are treatments and vaccinations for the other illnesses.

Flu vaccination isn't usually very effective. And there are virtually no treatments against viral diseases.

You were told to stay away from your family at the peak of the risk.
You'd be told as well if any other dangerous viral disease was running rampant among the population. Or if any of them had got ill.

You do need to stop the binary though process and do a proper risk assessment, to include all your options.

@Standardy

Where can you get help for PIP?

CAB. At the risk of derailing (sorry OP), you don't seem to grasp what PIP is for. It's not a sliding scale of how unwell you are as some sort of compensation, it's to try and ensure that those who require items or services to make their life that bit more manageable have a bit more money to do so. The toilet example, if you require aids to go then you would most likely need to fund them yourself, which means you would benefit from PIP. It is more complex than that of course, but there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding around it, and oh well they're not as ill as me why don't I get it. Of course the system sucks and many people have to contest the decision, but the premise of it remains the same.

But I don't need aids for the toilet.

I fund my own physio because, before Covid, I was going once a week.

People keep insisting that I can claim but I honestly can't see for what. I wash myself, dress myself. I can walk, yes slowly and I take opiate pain killers because of the pain but I still walk and exercise because it's important and I don't want to lose my mobility.

My gut is difficult. I take medication, I get frequent diarrhoea.

None of what I have seems represented within PIP.

I went on a pain management course at the hospital. Twelve people, two of us worked. Everyone else claimed benefit. When we were asked to do something they all claimed they couldn't because it caused pain. The two of us who worked did the activities and we were asked if we had pain. We both did but did it anyway. So it seems, if you simply say you don't do something then you will qualify. But if you push yourself and do it, then you don't. I'm not going to lie and I'm not going to give up and just sit at home so that I can claim disability benefits. That makes no sense. I want to be able to go for a walk and maintain my independence.

@ItsNotJustAboutYou

I ask a question and say "Please don't just repeat me me me, actually think about others not just yourself for once. I've asked if you can write a post not mentioning yourself and I genuinely don't think you"

First sentence of reply "But having a reason for being exempt does not stop you from posing a risk to me"

May I summarise?

*You are thinking about yourself and no one else (is the rest of the population) affected by this issue. You don't approve of the legislation as it stands, and you would like it to be changed as you believe the legislation and people exercising their rights under this legislation puts you at risk. I suggest you write to the government.

I think we all know your position now as you have made this all about you. I also suggest people engage with the OP (and others) rather then encouraging the spectacular selfish detail to make this The HoovesShow. I certainly won't be engaging with you.

Perhaps start your own threads if you want to constantly talk about yourself instead of hijacking other people's who are trying to have a general discussion about an issue which affects everyone in the U.K., not just you*

And you are thinking of only yourself and your not being able to wear a mask without thinking about the people you might infect were you to have Covid. How are you any different?

We seem to have become entangled in a protracted game of 'Why don't you ...?' 'Yes, but ...'

I'm not playing any more. I hope you find solutions that are acceptable to you, Hooves.

I'm not going to lie and I'm not going to give up and just sit at home so that I can claim disability benefits.

You can and claim PIP, it's not dependent on other income. Phone CAB if they're still operating at the moment and want some clarity.

Can work and claim PIP that was meant to say!

@Lweji

But there are treatments and vaccinations for the other illnesses.

Flu vaccination isn't usually very effective. And there are virtually no treatments against viral diseases.

You were told to stay away from your family at the peak of the risk.
You'd be told as well if any other dangerous viral disease was running rampant among the population. Or if any of them had got ill.

You do need to stop the binary though process and do a proper risk assessment, to include all your options.

But the point is, I never have been told this about any other disease and so this must be a much greater threat than any other disease.

I've never been told to stay at home and isolate during flu season so that's simply not relevant. If flu poses the same risks as Covid then why doesn't government shield us from flu?

"And you are thinking of only yourself and your not being able to wear a mask without thinking about the people you might infect were you to have Covid"

Yes I am exercising my rights to be exempt from masks as I have trauma from being suffocated and beaten and raped with a man's hand over my mouth and nose. If you would this exemption not to exist, take it up with the government.

Oh I fail at taking my own advice.
Let me remind myself (and others)

think we all know your position now as you have made this all about you. I also suggest people engage with the OP (and others) rather then encouraging the spectacular selfish detail to make this The HoovesShow. I certainly won't be engaging with you.

Perhaps start your own threads if you want to constantly talk about yourself instead of hijacking other people's who are trying to have a general discussion about an issue which affects everyone in the U.K., not just you

@Standardy

I'm not going to lie and I'm not going to give up and just sit at home so that I can claim disability benefits.

You can and claim PIP, it's not dependent on other income. Phone CAB if they're still operating at the moment and want some clarity.

I know you can claim PIP and work - if you meet the criteria.

In order for me to claim I would have to say that I can't walk unaided, that I can't wash and dress myself, that I can't go to the toilet without assistance - none of that is true.

And you are thinking of only yourself and your not being able to wear a mask without thinking about the people you might infect were you to have Covid. How are you any different?
Yes, because that person who cannot wear a mask has their own legitimate reason. I don't want to wear a mask. No particular reason, I just don't fancy it. So because I have no reason other than lack of desire I will suck it up and wear it wherever I am required to do so. Lots of people will and are wearing masks quite cheerfully and widely. Some people cannot wear a mask. Some people are more at risk than others and their risk is greatly reduced by the high numbers of mask usage.

It isn't one on one. One person's need to not wear a mask is not them versus you. The mask wearers, those unable to and those who rely on most doing it are all part of a bigger system in which there will never be 0% but there also won't be 100%.

Me me me me. The utter single mindedness and self obsession is so wearing.

@ItsNotJustAboutYou

"And you are thinking of only yourself and your not being able to wear a mask without thinking about the people you might infect were you to have Covid"

Yes I am exercising my rights to be exempt from masks as I have trauma from being suffocated and beaten and raped with a man's hand over my mouth and nose. If you would this exemption not to exist, take it up with the government.

And in that regard you are doing what's best for you.

I am trying to do what's best for me except that causes you all to tell at me, abuse me, call me names and accuse me of being selfish.

There's no difference between us. You are putting your needs first, I'm putting my needs first.

I've never been told to stay at home and isolate during flu season so that's simply not relevant. If flu poses the same risks as Covid then why doesn't government shield us from flu?

I meant the opposite.
This is more dangerous than the flu, but the advice to shield was when it was running rampant, with many more cases than there would be of flu and many more dead.
The risk of you or your family contracting it now is much lower now. And more people will be wearing masks too.
This is why society is reopening and the risk for you will be lower too. It's not 100% or 0%.
My point is that you have to consider your risk every time you are in contact with another person. And you could catch a disease that could kill you from any disease.
At the moment, and hopefully in August, the risk for you from covid won't be much greater than for all the other diseases that are also around.

Do talk to your doctor about it. Properly.

It isn't one on one. One person's need to not wear a mask is not them versus you.

How so? Say I serve someone, who the next day comes down with Covid and they infect me? How is that not one on one? What if I then get seriously ill or worse from that? Is that ok?

@ItsNotJustAboutYou

Oh I fail at taking my own advice. Let me remind myself (and others)

think we all know your position now as you have made this all about you. I also suggest people engage with the OP (and others) rather then encouraging the spectacular selfish detail to make this The HoovesShow. I certainly won't be engaging with you.

Perhaps start your own threads if you want to constantly talk about yourself instead of hijacking other people's who are trying to have a general discussion about an issue which affects everyone in the U.K., not just you

Seconded. I've been sitting on my hands at times to avoid typing a reply I would probably regret later. I don't think this a case of simple selfishness and I think it would actually be a kindness to discourage the thread being derailed any further.

@Fuckinellitsme Your patience, kindness and understanding has been amazing

@Lweji

I've never been told to stay at home and isolate during flu season so that's simply not relevant. If flu poses the same risks as Covid then why doesn't government shield us from flu?

I meant the opposite.
This is more dangerous than the flu, but the advice to shield was when it was running rampant, with many more cases than there would be of flu and many more dead.
The risk of you or your family contracting it now is much lower now. And more people will be wearing masks too.
This is why society is reopening and the risk for you will be lower too. It's not 100% or 0%.
My point is that you have to consider your risk every time you are in contact with another person. And you could catch a disease that could kill you from any disease.
At the moment, and hopefully in August, the risk for you from covid won't be much greater than for all the other diseases that are also around.

Do talk to your doctor about it. Properly.

All the drs say is they don't know enough about it, that from what they have seen I would likely have a bad outcome and to err on the side of caution all of the time.

What more can they say? Yes, the prevalence is lower now but I only need to come into contact with the one person who has it.

How so? Say I serve someone, who the next day comes down with Covid and they infect me? How is that not one on one? What if I then get seriously ill or worse from that? Is that ok?

Say, you were wearing a mask and a face shield. And disinfected your hands after serving that person?
What is the actual risk that you would have caught covid?

Or what if the bus had and accident and you hit your head on the front seat and you died?

What if you caught deadly E. coli from supermarket lettuce?