To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks

[Fuckinellitsme]

Apologies for another mask thread.

First of all, I'm not an 'anti masker', I absolutely see the need and the importance of wearing them. I'm unable to wear one myself - I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I've tried to wear one, the resulting attack has left me bedbound for days. I want to wear one, but I can't. I also have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm incredibly grateful to all the people who do wear masks, therefore protecting others and especially those in higher risk groups (though not vulnerable enough to be shielding) like me.

However. I've seen some truly awful comments on here in the last few days directed at those who don't wear masks. We should be treated like lepers if we enter a shop without one, for example, or should be banned from them outright. And we ought to stay at home if we are exempt, not use public transport or go shopping or go to work. We have 'made up' health issues and disabilities and are 'woe is me' 'snowflakes'. I've also encountered bus passengers passing comment and tutting about my lack of mask.

Those of us who can't wear a mask (and are acting within the law/guidelines, being exempt) still need to go about our business. It would be lovely if we could do so without fear of comment or judgement. I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt.

The nastiness and ableist comments on here (and elsewhere) in the past few days have been genuinely upsetting for those of us unable to wear masks. Please don't assume we're all stupid/selfish/conspiracy theorists/don't care about your health, or that it's a choice. For many, choice doesn't come into it.

A bit of empathy goes a long way, especially in these weird times.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I've just checked my LA and the requirements are the same as when I was granted mine, no mention of benefits etc. Mine was granted because my RA effects my feet particularly badly and walking is often very difficult (you'll understand it's a fluctuating disease as you have it). There's also permanent damage to my joints caused by the inflammation.

@MaxNormal

I have inflammatory arthritis caused by Crohn's disease but don't get mobility allowance etc

One of my best friends has Crohn's with associated inflammatory arthritis. He didn't even get a shielding letter and is now working (he's a decorater so in and out of other people's houses).

If you personally are truly at that much risk that someone else not wearing a mask is putting you in danger of death, then I suggest you invest in masks with proper filtration and keep yourself safe that way. The reality is that risk can be mimimised but not eliminated, so you have to take some responsiblity for keeping yourself safe, as you simply don't control over the behaviour of others, only your own behaviour.

He might well have not got a shielding letter - it depends on the medication that you are on. Some of the medications put you in the shielding category and some don't.

And yes, I would love to be able to get the proper filtration masks but they are in incredibly short supply and are being diverted to the NHS, which is why the general public were told not to try and buy them.

All I ask is that you try to accept that most people wearing a mask have a good reason for not doing so, and do not judge us.

That's not true though is it, most people just don't want to. Not an excuse to be an arse to anyone and ask them to justify themselves though. In a shop i am not bothered as I can just make sure to avoid someone, if I had to get public transport to work it would make me uneasy, but I can afford a car so doesn't affect me. I think there needs to be understanding on both parts, those who are shielding are being largely forced back to work at the end of the month, when a virus that is more likely to kill them is still about, but they have to get out to keep a roof over their heads might be nervous to be in a space with many maskless people.

If some people are officially exempt then there shouldn't be a problem. I don't want to wear a mask but I will if made to by law. Or avoid going to places where wearing one is mandatory.

[quote Fuckinellitsme]@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I've just checked my LA and the requirements are the same as when I was granted mine, no mention of benefits etc. Mine was granted because my RA effects my feet particularly badly and walking is often very difficult (you'll understand it's a fluctuating disease as you have it). There's also permanent damage to my joints caused by the inflammation.[/quote]
Here we are

This refers to someone who is unable to walk, virtually unable to walk or the exertion required to walk would constitute a danger to your life.

You will need to provide your Disability Living Allowance (DLA) Award Letter showing the Higher Rate of Mobility or Personal Independence Payment (PIP) Award Letter showing 8 points or more for the ‘Moving Around’ element of Mobility. (This does not include any points awarded for ‘Daily Living’ or ‘Planning and Following a Journey’).

I'm so worried about this coming into action.
I work in a supermarket as an online shopper which is not my usual role but have been put on there during the pandemic.

I'm asthmatic and have been really struggling,I've tried to wear a mask because believe it or not I would actually like to wear one! Unfortunately I lasted around 20 minutes before I had to take it off,I couldn't breathe properly,my glasses had steamed up and I felt unwell.

I shop from 5am until approximately 3-4pm with a half an hour break,sometimes for 12 days before a day off. We're constantly being got on at to up our speed and go quicker.
I really won't be able to do my job whilst wearing a mask,at least not without making myself really ill.

I have also tried to wear a visor but with my glasses I found it distorts my vision and makes me nauseous,I worry about it starting a migraine and as somebody who has had to be hospitalised several times after a change in symptoms really concerns me.
I'm also under Moorefileds eye hospital in London for this and other visual problems.

I do also have a muscle condition that affects my voice box,sometimes I have no voice at all and other times it's a husky whisper,the public also don't like that I talk this way so I can't imagine how i will sound behind a mask.

I've already been spoken to like absolute crap from the public during this time and been told I should die as I work in a supermarket by at least 3 people now. I don't know how I will handle the abuse if i don't wear a mask to work.

I do try to wear a mask if I'm just nipping in to pick up a prescription,petrol,post office etc and feel I can just about manage the short amount of time doing that but not the many hours trying to do my job.

Starting to wonder if I should see if I can get signed off by my GP but at the same time I don't feel I should be at risk of losing my job.

I do feel that masks should be encouraged but not mandatory. I don't like that people will have to explain themselves to strangers about their personal medical conditions. I just wish the world was a nicer and more understanding place.
Don't judge others for issues you don't have,people manage with their conditions in different ways and that should be ok.

Mine was granted because my RA effects my feet particularly badly and walking is often very difficult (you'll understand it's a fluctuating disease as you have it). There's also permanent damage to my joints caused by the inflammation.

Yep, have it in both feet, my knee, both hips, my spine, both hands and wrists and my shoulder. Need a knee replacement but I'm considered too young so currently they want me to increase opiates to cope with the pain.

I have a device implanted in my spine to mask the intractable nerve pain caused by a procedure that went wrong and injured a nerve root while trying to treat the pain from the arthritis in my spine.

I refuse to pretend that I can't walk in order to get benefits though. I can walk it's just very painful.

Yes , the guidance has said some people are exempt . I did see a post somewhere about wearing a badge saying I can not wear a mask for medical reasons .

And I truly understand Your predicament as your illness is so painful . I have a relative who suffers as well . It’s just awful .

All I ask is that you try to accept that most people wearing a mask have a good reason for not doing so

I don't think it's fair to ask people to assume anyone not wearing one has a good reason, if you've seen all the shit across social media. A lot of people plan to refuse to wear them "because of their rights" and as I stated, you will have more people who can wear them choose not to then you'll have who medically can't, like yourself. It's not fair to ask people to assume the best of all people when it's been made obvious that most people will take the piss. Same as all the idiots who flocked to the beach during the peak, it's like asking us to assume they all had a "good reason". We make assumptions based on the majority, sadly and legitimate medical reason (such as yours) will be in the minority. I won't go up to anyone and demand they explain why they aren't wearing a mask but you can expect me not to silently judge them for putting my health and others at risk.

Meant but you can't* expect.

I do feel that masks should be encouraged but not mandatory

Nobody would wear them then.

It's not fair to ask people to assume the best of all people when it's been made obvious that most people will take the piss

Most? Some maybe. But still. That doesn't give mask wearers the rights to start questioning why someone isn't wearing a mask.

A few people have been wearing masks since lockdown began. Not many but a few.

Thank you @Fuckinellitsme. It'll be interesting to see how this all goes in the next few weeks.

I do feel for the shop keepers and transport workers though, like @Zaphodsotherhead, because they're on a hiding to nothing.

If there's nothing to prove someone has exemption from wearing a mask then they, presumably, have to just let everyone in who isn't wearing a mask - some of which will be people who just don't believe in masks or aren't prepared to wear them. Which makes masks pointless. And the shop keeper is likely to get the snide comments from people who are masked up.

I understand why people don't like the idea of having to carry something to prove to Joe Public that they are exempt but I do think something needs to be carried to prove to a bus driver or shop keeper that they are exempt. That way, everyone will assume that the person without the mask has proved their exemption so they won't be challenged.

Otherwise I can see a fair number of arguments happening as people apply 'peer pressure' - which is exactly what the government want so they don't have to seem bureaucratic. We already see it with hidden disabilities and parking spaces and the 'you can't be ill' brigade.

I know my friend, whose son is asthmatic, would love a card for him to just flash when he's in a shop so he doesn't have to have any comments to deal with when he's on his own. He's a young teenager so doesn't come into the under 11 category and doesn't have the confidence to shrug it off. She is very concerned that he'll feel more constricted in his movements because older people will challenge him - a soft target.

The interesting thing with this is that they mentioned on the news a week or so ago that about 35% of people in England wear a mask, compared to something like 85% in Italy and 95% plus in somewhere like South Korea (I believe).

Now, 65% of people in England cannot all be unable to mask up due to a disability. So it will be interesting to see if that 35% rises significantly in the next few months. If not, then people are 'using the system' and I think exemption certificates will be brought in then for those who cannot use masks.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

Mine was granted because my RA effects my feet particularly badly and walking is often very difficult (you'll understand it's a fluctuating disease as you have it). There's also permanent damage to my joints caused by the inflammation.

Yep, have it in both feet, my knee, both hips, my spine, both hands and wrists and my shoulder. Need a knee replacement but I'm considered too young so currently they want me to increase opiates to cope with the pain.

I have a device implanted in my spine to mask the intractable nerve pain caused by a procedure that went wrong and injured a nerve root while trying to treat the pain from the arthritis in my spine.

I refuse to pretend that I can't walk in order to get benefits though. I can walk it's just very painful.

Under the conditions of my LA you would absolutely qualify for a pass. The requirement here is not a complete inability to walk, rather that walking is excessively laborious, painful or slow.

Why are some people happy to assume that everyone not wearing a mask is a selfish idiot because they've seen the (absolutely ridiculous) arguments of mask deniers on social media... But are equally unwilling to accept the pleas by disabled people for acceptance, which they've also seen on social media?

Come July 24th if someone in a shop isn’t wearing a mask you can feel satisfied that they have told the shopkeeper that they are exempt and mind your own business.

@Fuckinellitsme

No. It's asking that I'm not made to divulge my medical history (regarding a condition very few people have heard of, much less understand) to strangers on a bus who, by virtue of the fact they've asked a stranger such a question, aren't likely to be reasonable people. I'm asking that people do not tut or comment and instead offer those without masks the benefit of the doubt.

I've said time and again that I will provide proof to those in authority if and when it becomes required in law to do so. I will not be explaining my medical history to anyone who asks.

I wore my 'baby on board' badge on London transport throughout the later stages of my pregnancy. Those badges exist because it's not always obvious that a person is pregnant. There are other badges for disabilities, for the same reasons. I regularly see bumper stickers saying 'I have a hidden disability'. I respect that, even though I don't question people parking I'm disabled spaces with a badge anyway. But I know some do.

You don't have to wear one of those badges to ask for a seat on public transport. It just makes it so much easier. In all fairness, you shouldn't have to! If you say 'I'm pregnant can I sit there' then the person should accommodate where possible. But they don't! Even when wearing a badge, I was regularly refused a seat.

I just don't agree with the concept that you shouldn't have to 'divulge' your disability. You don't, nobody is saying you do. You can attempt to get by with just going out without a mask and expecting people to understand. But these little things make everything else considerably easier when requesting adjustments in public, not everybody is at MN debate levels of understanding, and the public are currently in various states of panic about their own health and the health of their loved ones, which clouds their ability to be completely rational when faced with potential virus exposure. As much as you want others to go easy on you, can you please go easy on others?

Its not fair to ask people to assume the best of people Of course it is.

Most people will take the piss Of course they won't. Masks are already mandatory on public transport and the majority are complying.

What's the point of going through life assuming the worst of everyone and "silently judging"?

Some people don't want to understand. They are loving a new way of lording it over other people, othering and having a sense of power because in the rest of their lives they have none. You can guarantee they will accost the vulnerable looking people rather than someone who will tell them to fuck off, which is how they should be dealt with.

@Sleepyblueocean This 💯

Whatevernext1

I’m glad that in London at least TfL’s message is “unless you are exempt” and “unless you are unable to wear one.” Yes there will unfortunately be chancers but there needs to be more awareness of medical needs especially of invisible disabilities. TfL has a pretty good record of this.

There’s some great stuff online about what we can learn from the condom campaigns and how skills and knowledge of the public health officials who ran those campaigns could be put to good use. What we need is a proper public health campaign with a consistent message.

Good summary here: t.co/czX1QI88Wd

Obviously there are some people who cannot wear masks. I don’t think the general public should tut or challenge people not wearing them, as know one knows individual circumstances and it’s rude.

A small amount of people are refusing to wear masks on political grounds , but the problem has also arisen because there are people with health conditions and disabilities for whom it is more difficult/ uncomfortable to wear a mask, but not actually impossible.

I’ve noticed some people being quite quick to use the ‘ I’m exempt clause’, rather than looking for solutions e.g. reducing the time spent wearing a mask by using click and collect at the supermarket, trying different types of mask, online shopping for non essentials etc. No one likeswearing a mask, but people are getting used to it.

Obvious this doesn’t apply in your case OP, but it’s these people, who may actually be disabled themselves who are doing damage to the perception of non mask wearers.

There is also a big difference between avoiding non essential shopping/ public transport where possible without a mask, and staying at home ALL THE TIME, as some people on these threads are quick to accuse others of suggesting.

OP, sorry if I came across as harsh. I googled your condition and it sounds an absolute nightmare. You shouldn't have to justify yourself to random people.

I do cover my face but if someone doesn't, I don't get mad at them because you don't know their story. OK, so they could be a conspiracy theorist, but they could also be autistic (sensory difficulties) or whatever. And it's not my place or my business.

Link went weird: www.boredpanda.com/sexologist-mask-wearing-argument-jill-mcdevitt/