To want to send flowers or something to the house we pulled the offer on

[Tobytoesgoes]

We put an offer in on a house that we genuinely would have been very happy in but it was not the dream home. Literally later the same day the perfect house was listed on Rightmove. We didn't see it had come up before we put in the offer. It was our first offer and we anticipated a bit of negotiation so decided we had time to go view this house and booked that but the offer was accepted. We went to see the house anyway just to explore the possibility and it was honest to goodness, perfect for us. Every box was ticked and we can see ourselves living there forever. We offered the asking price straight away as it was so new to the market and they accepted. We immediately pulled our offer for the other house. The agent did sound so annoyed when I told him. I feel honestly terrible for the first house owners. It had been on the market for 2 years and the agent sounded so genuinely excited when we said we wanted to put an offer in. We honestly never meant to string them along or mess them around.
I said to DH we should send them some flowers or chocolates to apologise for retracting the offer but he said that's ridiculous and I need to stop worrying about it. I know I should.stop worrying really, we had to do what was right for us but can it hurt to just send a small token to apologise?

[Brefugee]

When it happens to you in the future, you'll realise that the only thing you can do now is stay right away from them.

[fascinated]

@ImAncient

Buying a house is a property transaction on several 100 thousand pounds. Most people care more about buying £30 dress then they do a house. It’s the biggest financial transaction you’ll ever make. You did the right thing. Honestly I’ve seen properties fall at the last hurdle or people pull out because of a bad survey. It happens. I’m at ex solicitor so sometimes saw it on the morning of exchange. It happens don’t beat yourself up about it.

Right? I can’t believe the angst here.

Some Brits are too worried about being „polite“ to look after their own economic interests. Come on, people.

[JinglingHellsBells]

I don't understand the drama. And you sound a little naive of the house buying process.

An offer is just that. In England it's not binding.

Anyone selling knows that until contracts are exchanged, a buyer can walk away.

It also works the other way- sellers pull out and often a buyer has spent money on surveys and has legal costs.

Just forget it.

[LunaNorth]

I’m trying to imagine my reaction if someone put a note through my door saying they’d donated to a food bank to balance their karma after withdrawing an offer on my house.

I’d be relieved on my neighbours’ behalf, put it that way.

[BigBadVoodooHat]

I initially hated you for messing them about

You “hated” the OP?

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

House buying is a brutal business. We last did it a quarter of a century ago and I devoutly hope we never have to do it again. I still feel a little bit bad about our second to last move in 1988. We were near the bottom of a chain. We had accepted an offer for our house from a woman who was downsizing, but she didn't have a buyer for her house, so everything was held up. Our estate agent turned up with a pair of first time buyers who had a mortgage arranged, deposit ready etc. I'm afraid we went with them. The first woman was very pissed off, but it was that or half a dozen other people lost out on their moves. It happens.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Hate used to be a very extreme word. It's lost all power now. The British used to be known for understatement. Not any more.

[heartsonacake]

YABU. Sending them anything is just to make yourself feel better; they’ll be pissed off by it.

[YukoandHiro]

It's par for the course with buying a selling a house. Yes, they will be gutted - but don't spend any time worrying about it. Lots of people offer on more than one property at a time. It's a fairly scummy thing to do, but you're hardly in the minority.

[ShebaShimmyShake]

Why was the house on the market for two years anyway?

[Starshollowwannabe]

Don’t send anything. They will be pissed off and I can see that you have people calling you a horrible person on this thread but in reality most people would’ve done the same thing if they found their dream house.

[TatianaBis]

Why was the house on the market for two years anyway?

Either something wrong with the house or something wrong with the price.

[chasingrainbows3]

@pandafunfactory

No you did an awful thing. Those poor people. Leave them alone.

Very dramatic 😂

No you haven't done anything wrong, that's the ups and downs of selling/buying a house.

Don't send flowers, just put it down as experience.

[Missillusioned]

Don't worry about it. You have to make the best decision for yourself. It's a financial transaction and until all the papers are signed the offer isn't binding. You didn't do anything awful, people are silly to get so emotive about it.
If it were me I'd be very puzzled to get a gift or apology from someone who had retracted on a house offer within a short time.

[Fettfrett]

Huge difference between pulling out before money has been spent and pulling out just before exchange. You didn't do an awful thing, you just changed your mind.

Houses are the biggest purchase of your life, you cant buy the wrong one just because you feel guilty about pulling out. They will be disappointed and probably pissed off though, I wouldn't send anything.

[thisstooshallpass]

Buying and selling houses - it is brutal.

Never, ever get emotionally involved. It's business.

The house will sell, again. It's not your problem.

[LunaNorth]

Flowers and chocolates won’t cut it, OP.

You should pop on a hair shirt and go flagellate yourself in their front garden.

[thisstooshallpass]

@LunaNorth

I’m not sure what people on here would have you do?

Spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on a house you didn’t want, just to be polite?

I wouldn’t send a gift, but I don’t think you did an awful thing, either. You didn’t kill anyone

Ha ha. Nearly two years ago we put our house on the market. Set to move into new home next week (we had to go in rented to keep our sale)

It has been brutal, but it's business. So many people take it seriously. I remember our first buyers pulled out a week before we were due to exchange. My husband came in to tell me looking white as a ghost. I replied 'nobody has died'

I wish people didn't get so personal about it.

[bitmynailbrokemytooth]

Karma would suggest your vendors will pull out of the sale of your perfect house. Hey ho.

Do not send anything to the first house they will chuck it in the bin.

[thisstooshallpass]

*personally not seriously

[Charleyhorses]

Blimey everyone needs to get a grip. An offer isn't binding until exchange. You can't carry on and buy the wrong house to avoid upsetting someone. I had a colleague who, when house hunting would put an offer in on anything he liked so as to keep it off the market whilst he carried on looking. I thought that was outrageous. When we last moved, we were relocating to a specific very small town in East Sussex, school catchment issue. We bought the only house on the market that just about fitted our requirements. If something much better had come up before exchange I would seriously have considered it.

[WhatWillSantaBring]

Someone pulled out of buying our house (after four months, literally a week before exchange, when it had already cost us a few thousand). An apology and explanation would have been really appreciated. Clearly a lot of people on MN are unforgiving.

[thisstooshallpass]

@Charleyhorses

Blimey everyone needs to get a grip. An offer isn't binding until exchange. You can't carry on and buy the wrong house to avoid upsetting someone. I had a colleague who, when house hunting would put an offer in on anything he liked so as to keep it off the market whilst he carried on looking. I thought that was outrageous. When we last moved, we were relocating to a specific very small town in East Sussex, school catchment issue. We bought the only house on the market that just about fitted our requirements. If something much better had come up before exchange I would seriously have considered it.

Hurrah!

[Justaboy]

Buying and selling houses - it is brutal.

Well put agree 100%!

Never, ever get emotionally involved. It's business.

Yes but you do don't you, hands up who never did unles it was a buy to let?

The house will sell, again. It's not your problem.


If the house has been up for sale for two years with no progress there's something amiss - overpriced, problems with the searches or survey, for example.

Indeed!

A good estate agent should be able to weed out sightseers, onlookers those to whom your place is a wistfull dream thery can't afford, and only make sure that the ones who have the resoruces get involved etc..

Send a bunch of flowers to someone who they will make happy!

Not the intended recepient!!!

[poppydull]

Karma would suggest your vendors will pull out of the sale of your perfect house. Hey ho.

Wtf why is the OP owed karma? she hasn't done anything wrong! It's been 48 hours!!!!

All those who are aghast that the OP found her dream house are likely the same ones who see nothing wrong with gazumping. Its all about them.