To want to send flowers or something to the house we pulled the offer on

[Tobytoesgoes]

We put an offer in on a house that we genuinely would have been very happy in but it was not the dream home. Literally later the same day the perfect house was listed on Rightmove. We didn't see it had come up before we put in the offer. It was our first offer and we anticipated a bit of negotiation so decided we had time to go view this house and booked that but the offer was accepted. We went to see the house anyway just to explore the possibility and it was honest to goodness, perfect for us. Every box was ticked and we can see ourselves living there forever. We offered the asking price straight away as it was so new to the market and they accepted. We immediately pulled our offer for the other house. The agent did sound so annoyed when I told him. I feel honestly terrible for the first house owners. It had been on the market for 2 years and the agent sounded so genuinely excited when we said we wanted to put an offer in. We honestly never meant to string them along or mess them around.
I said to DH we should send them some flowers or chocolates to apologise for retracting the offer but he said that's ridiculous and I need to stop worrying about it. I know I should.stop worrying really, we had to do what was right for us but can it hurt to just send a small token to apologise?

[thisstooshallpass]

@WhatWillSantaBring

Someone pulled out of buying our house (after four months, literally a week before exchange, when it had already cost us a few thousand). An apology and explanation would have been really appreciated. Clearly a lot of people on MN are unforgiving.

Are you ever going to get the full story though?

I had 'they've fallen out of love with it' but because nobody is invisible anymore I found out that they had been viewing/negotiating on another house in the same neighbourhood with the same estate agent.

I stopped asking for feedback too. After 55 viewings on my sale, unless it was about price (not one piece of feedback was) what's the point in it? I had 'the street is too dark' It was February at 4.30pm.

[tara66]

A third of house sales fall through. This happens all the time. Don't send flowers! They will probably bin them anyway. There is nothing to bind you to buying the house.

[LockdownDowner]

There is a huge difference in withdrawing an offer within 48 hours when no one has incurred fees and withdrawing weeks down the line!
Buying and selling are very stressful and offers being withdrawn early on is just part of the process!!! You didn't act with any malice, let it go and move on. A relative is currently selling and had a few buyers change their minds - it happens.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Sending flowers would be way ott. You changed your mind 48 hours after agreement. At that stage you most probably wouldn’t even have a mortgage in principle offer in place. This therefore means the house technically was still for sale. Ignore the hysteria.

[BlueJava]

I don't see you've done anything wrong. You didn't string them along to exchange then drop them, you told me quickly. If their house has been on the market for 2 years there is something seriously wrong or it's way overpriced. Business is business, don't send flowers or anything else.

[Mischance]

I wish the two withdrawn buyers on my bungalow had sent me some flowers - I truly deserve it - it has been a roller-coaster. I am trying to get back to the village where all my friends are, following the death of my OH. These folk who have messed me around have caused me great pain.

But........you must buy the house that you want and that is right for your family. Sometimes these things happen.

[IncrediblySadToo]

It's very disappointing for them & it's kind of you to have thought about sending flowers/chocolates. Personally I would have thought the gesture was nice, but the flowers would have kept reminding me, so probably not the best idea. However, I really do not understand the people saying they'd throw the flowers/chocolates in the bin. I really don't.

As it was under 48 hours, I doubt they have actually lost anything other than hope. I do feel sorry for them, as after 2 years on the market they were probably incredibly excited, but on the other hand - even with Brexit & the CV they're probably either priced badly or a survey is throwing up some nasties they haven't bothered to fix. Of course the agent was annoyed-he's lost the commission (I feel for him as it's tough out there, but it's hardly unusual. He's possibly a large part of why they haven't sold)

Anyway, congratulations on your new home!! I hope it all goes through ok & that you're very happy there!

[ShebaShimmyShake]

If you’re desperate to do something then donate to a food bank and put a card through their door apologising and saying you’ve tried to balance karma a bit by doing so.

I don't know why, but if I were the seller, this would piss me off even more than flowers, and then make me feel bad that I'd got angry over something as noble as a food bank, so now I'm the bad guy too.

I think anything more than a message of explanation and apology via the estate agent would irritate me.

[IncrediblySadToo]

@bitmynailbrokemytooth

Karma would suggest your vendors will pull out of the sale of your perfect house. Hey ho.

Do not send anything to the first house they will chuck it in the bin.

Nasty.

& no, we aren't all ungrateful, ridiculous twats who would throw perfectly lovely flowers in the bin.

[Laiste]

I've only scanned the thread but i imagine there are a few posters likening what you've done to drowning puppies OP

Buying and selling property isn't a tea party with the vicar. Being polite really should not be a major part of making life changing financial decisions. You found a better house and withdrew the offer in good time. Cringe for a bit and then forget about it.

This is from the queen of good manners i can tell you!

[Disfordarkchocolate]

Stop worrying so much. It's not like you cost them any money.

[NoSauce]

Bloody hell there’s some drama queens on this thread.

OP yanbu. Should you have carried on with the sale just to be “nice”?

Fuck no.

I’ve had people pull out of a sale twice, yes it’s disappointing but I wouldn’t have expected flowers or for them to carry on buying my house just to spare my feelings!

[Playmysong]

Glad I live in Scotland. I have always thought the English system is awful. Up here once you have put an offer in it is considered binding, and no decent solicitor would represent you if you withdrew and wanted to offer on another house!

[Rhine]

This kind of thing happens all the time(used to work in an estate agency). The agent was more than likely pissed off because of a loss of commission.

If the house had been on the market two years without luck then there is something probably wrong with it,

[Cadent]

I don't think what you did was bad, OP. It's a tough market, we put some offers in and never even heard back from the estate agent. We put an offer in on one house and then forgot about it. Far from ideal but it was the cut throat system more than anything. Just realised from another thread that I never even received a fixtures and fittings list from our agent.

But yes, I wouldn't send flowers. I thought you were going to say you pulled out of the sale at the last minute!

[AlternativePerspective]

Good God what a lot of dramatists on this thread....

OP flowers and chocolates isn’t enough. You should go and set fire to an effigy of yourself on their front lawn as penance, and then offer to do their housework, dig their garden and paint their walls for another year. For free...

TBH most people with any common sense will be wondering if an offer is going to fall through as soon as it is made. Obviously that becomes more frustrating the further down the line you are, but having buyers (and even vendors) pull out at any stage is part and parcel of the process.

But I’m guessing there are a lot of posters on this thread who are living in houses they didn’t really want just so they didn’t disappoint their vendors....

[thisstooshallpass]

For any house I'm selling or viewing I request the EA does the viewings. I don't want to pretend I love everyone's house. It's all that awkward shuffling and whispering that goes on whilst the vendor pretends to something important.

It needs to remain at a professional level at all times, none of the 'I love your sofa/you have a beautiful house'

[Cadent]

@thisstooshallpass why would you buy a house that only your EA has viewed? Bizarre.

[NoSauce]

thisstooshallpass is the seller

[thisstooshallpass]

As in the EA takes me round the house I'm viewing, not the vendor.

And when I'm selling a house my EA does all the viewing. As in takes potential buyers round my house.

[Pumpertrumper]

It’s just one of those things op.
FWIW DH and I are very moral and kind, would never do something we felt would hurt somebody else... but we did gazump a buyer out of our current home.

We saw it we loved it, nothing else even came close. We couldn’t put an offer in as ours hadn’t sold yet (EA’s wouldn’t allow) the next day it had an offer accepted, then the day after our house sold. We offered above asking, beat the other buyers and are now living there happily.

I did feel a lot of guilt initially but I was pregnant, DH desperately needed to be closer to work and so for once in our lives we did something shitty and got what we wanted. I have no guilt now, I’d do it all again. We’ll live here forever.
There’s nothing wrong with bidding on a house, in our case the other buyers knew we’d viewed and were still eligible to make an offer, so it was the sellers who messed them around not us. Had it been weeks or months down the line DH and I wouldn’t but seriously, a phone contact gives you 14 days ‘cooling off’ I think you can apply that to a house too.

[dottiedodah]

This kind of thing happens all the time surely?! You have done nothing wrong . Just changed your mind thats all! Try to forget about it and concentrate on your new home .Most houses that have been hanging about on the market are being priced unrealistically so they will have to come down a bit!

[istheresomethingwrongwithme]

Don't send flowers but don't feel bad either. You've done nothing wrong and I'm sure most of us would do the same in your circumstances. You didn't cost them any money as you changed your mind so quickly, yes they will be disappointed but that's life.

[Noseyparker85]

Someone pulled out of the sale of our house last month, we're nowhere near as upset as people on here are making out they would be.
We understood when moving stuff happens, nothing we could do!

We had also signed completion paper so much further down the line to where you are.
Move on and enjoy your new house.

[ReceptacleForTheRespectable]

You didn't do anything terrible. It's a business transaction, and there was only 48hrs before offer and retraction. Normally it takes that long for the EA to get proof of ability to purchase and take the house off the market, so you haven't cost them anything at all. If the house is good, it'll sell regardless.

But yeah, sending flowers would be weird.