To want to send flowers or something to the house we pulled the offer on

[Tobytoesgoes]

We put an offer in on a house that we genuinely would have been very happy in but it was not the dream home. Literally later the same day the perfect house was listed on Rightmove. We didn't see it had come up before we put in the offer. It was our first offer and we anticipated a bit of negotiation so decided we had time to go view this house and booked that but the offer was accepted. We went to see the house anyway just to explore the possibility and it was honest to goodness, perfect for us. Every box was ticked and we can see ourselves living there forever. We offered the asking price straight away as it was so new to the market and they accepted. We immediately pulled our offer for the other house. The agent did sound so annoyed when I told him. I feel honestly terrible for the first house owners. It had been on the market for 2 years and the agent sounded so genuinely excited when we said we wanted to put an offer in. We honestly never meant to string them along or mess them around.
I said to DH we should send them some flowers or chocolates to apologise for retracting the offer but he said that's ridiculous and I need to stop worrying about it. I know I should.stop worrying really, we had to do what was right for us but can it hurt to just send a small token to apologise?

[Rewis]

No need to buy anyhting. It was a business transaction that didn't go through in the end. Yes, I'm sure they are dissapointed but it's all part of selling property.

[ShebaShimmyShake]

@Pumpertrumper

It’s just one of those things op.
FWIW DH and I are very moral and kind, would never do something we felt would hurt somebody else... but we did gazump a buyer out of our current home.

We saw it we loved it, nothing else even came close. We couldn’t put an offer in as ours hadn’t sold yet (EA’s wouldn’t allow) the next day it had an offer accepted, then the day after our house sold. We offered above asking, beat the other buyers and are now living there happily.

I did feel a lot of guilt initially but I was pregnant, DH desperately needed to be closer to work and so for once in our lives we did something shitty and got what we wanted. I have no guilt now, I’d do it all again. We’ll live here forever.
There’s nothing wrong with bidding on a house, in our case the other buyers knew we’d viewed and were still eligible to make an offer, so it was the sellers who messed them around not us. Had it been weeks or months down the line DH and I wouldn’t but seriously, a phone contact gives you 14 days ‘cooling off’ I think you can apply that to a house too.

If anyone did anything wrong, it was the sellers, not you. You put in an offer, they chose to accept over the one they already had.

[Wecandothis99]

Ignore those saying you did a bad thing. It's not bag of sweets you are buying so you need to ensure you're fully happy before permanent connoting. But you don't need to send flowers, they'll get over it and get a new buyer. Happened to me a few times

[Wecandothis99]

Ignore those saying you did a bad thing. It's not bag of sweets you are buying so you need to ensure you're fully happy before permanently COMMITTING (doh) But you don't need to send flowers, they'll get over it and get a new buyer. Happened to me a few times

[famousforwrongreason]

Oh my god. Lately mumsnet seems to be filled with the sort of people I wouldn't want to spend any time with. In real life. Ever.
It has changed so much from the bright insightful women I used to love chatting to. I think I need to find a new forum.

Anyway. I digress.

You did not do 'an awful thing'.
This is how the housing market works. People pull out at various stages on both sides.
Everyone knows not to get excited until everything is signed and money is moving.
Fuck the weird guiltmongers on here.
You saw something better. That's it.
Lucky you finding your dream house. Let that be your motivation now, leave the other house behind and progress with excitement and joy for this one.

[BigBadVoodooHat]

Karma would suggest your vendors will pull out of the sale of your perfect house. Hey ho.

You don’t understand the concept of karma. It’s not a form of instantaneous ‘tit-for-tat’.

Though if you are convinced that karma works the way you seemingly think it does, then evidently the sellers must have done something unforgivable during a previous house sale, and the OP’s withdrawal is the universe issuing retribution on them, surely?

[BigBadVoodooHat]

why would you buy a house that only your EA has viewed? Bizarre.

This is one of the funniest ‘wrong end of the stick’ comments I’ve ever read on here 🤣

[Cadent]

@BigBadVoodooHat more of an attempt to get people to write more clearly in their posts actually. I have no idea what that poster was referring to.

[sbhydrogen]

Buy flowers but keep them for your dream home.

[R2221]

I’m sure the owners are a bit disappointed, but it’s a part of house selling/buying process!! It’s the agent that’s more pissed. I’d ask him to fuck off if he tries to guilt/hassle you.

You don’t have to worry so much, just say “sorry, the other house suits us better” and any sensible person would understand. Don’t bother sending flowers/chocolate etc.

[BigBadVoodooHat]

more of an attempt to get people to write more clearly in their posts actually. I have no idea what that poster was referring to.

Really? The context made it pretty obvious that the poster in question preferred to be shown round a property by the EA because being shown round by the vendor is incredibly awkward.

[MarcelineMissouri]

You absolutely did nothing wrong. It’s not a little purchase! It’s ridiculous for people to imply you should carry on with something costing you hundreds of thousands of £ if you’re not completely happy with it!!

Don’t send them anything though. That’s life unfortunately. For an offer to be withdrawn only 48 hours after being made is just one of those things.

[Mischance]

You are spending heaps on this purchase - it has to be right for you. It is unfortunate, but that is the nature of the English housing market.

I hope you will be very happy in your new home.

[jessstan2]

Just leave it, Toby.

[wheretonow123]

It is upsetting but the time difference is not that huge. The vendor may or may not have proceeded with plans based on your offer.

At the end of the day you have to go with whats best for you. Those vendors don't know if you are a CF or not.

its part of the agents job to properly explain the situation to them.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

No, don't send flowers or chocolates. It would be unkind, a bit 'rubbing salt in the wound' sort of thing. Better to let it be put behind them rather than be reminded of it.

And - "It had been on the market for 2 years". That's not your responsibility. If it hasn't sold, there's a reason for it, and it's not your fault. Walk away.

[Iwalkinmyclothing]

I don't think you need to send anything or castigate yourself for buying your dream house rather than one that was just 'OK'. In any case, that the first house has been on the market for 2 years already raises some questions- why isn't it selling? Is it overpriced?

PP who think the OP did something terrible I just do not understand at all.

[peanutsandpinenuts]

OP I wouldn't worry about it. You pulled out very early and it cost them nothing except some raised expectations, if it was later in the process perhaps you should feel a bit guilty but not at 48 hours in.

The estate agent was annoyed because its a lost sale. They don't care really about the sellers or the buyers. They want their commission, particularly now when people are a bit more hesitant buying or selling.

As others have said sending a box of chocolates or whatever to the sellers is just silly, rubbing salt in the wound.

Sounds like you and your husband have done the right thing. Personally if a property has been on two years I would be suspicious about what was wrong with it, what might come up in a survey etc.

[rosesandcashmere]

House buying and selling is stressful. I don't know why people get so emotional about it because you go into it knowing it can all go wrong at any moment. No one should have hopes up until completion. I wouldn't worry about it, these things happen - multiple times a day.

[Frankola]

I'm sorry but I dont agree with people saying you have done an utterly terrible and evil thing.

You pulled your offer before they incurred ANY costs. So they arent out of pocket.

You also have to put your own needs first when buying any house. It's a huge investment and it needs to be the right decision.

No. It's not nice for the sellers. It sucks for them. But please don't listen to those saying you should be hung, drawn and quartered over this.

[dodgeballchamp]

House buying and selling is stressful. I don't know why people get so emotional about it because you go into it knowing it can all go wrong at any moment. No one should have hopes up until completion. I wouldn't worry about it, these things happen - multiple times a day.

This! I’m going through the buying process myself and yes there have been times it’s tedious and frustrating but never once have I felt emotional over it. I went in with the mindset that until I have the keys and have signed the papers, that it could fall apart any minutes because them’s the breaks. I don’t understand the tears and moralising. It’s a house, not a fucking puppy

[EmbarrassedUser]

Two years....wouldn’t you have to ask yourself what’s wrong with the house? Maybe you dodged a bullet anyway? Good luck with the dream house.

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

Oh my god. Lately mumsnet seems to be filled with the sort of people I wouldn't want to spend any time with. In real life. Ever. It has changed so much from the bright insightful women I used to love chatting to. I think I need to find a new forum.

Bloody hell - and it’s the people saying the OP did something wrong who are drama queens?!

Literally ONE person said the OP ‘did an awful thing’. A few others have made somewhat OTT comments about karma. Almost everyone else has said the OP did nothing wrong.

Have people even read the thread? It’s telling that because the opening post was ridiculous, dozens of posters are claiming everyone on the thread is being ridiculous, when it’s blatantly or true. Most people have sided with the OP, she herself said on the first page that she’s not going to send the sodding flowers - yet seven pages on, posters are still bleating about how they ‘can’t belieeeeeeve some people!’