Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to send flowers or something to the house we pulled the offer on

173 replies

Tobytoesgoes · 14/07/2020 23:07

We put an offer in on a house that we genuinely would have been very happy in but it was not the dream home. Literally later the same day the perfect house was listed on Rightmove. We didn't see it had come up before we put in the offer. It was our first offer and we anticipated a bit of negotiation so decided we had time to go view this house and booked that but the offer was accepted. We went to see the house anyway just to explore the possibility and it was honest to goodness, perfect for us. Every box was ticked and we can see ourselves living there forever. We offered the asking price straight away as it was so new to the market and they accepted. We immediately pulled our offer for the other house. The agent did sound so annoyed when I told him. I feel honestly terrible for the first house owners. It had been on the market for 2 years and the agent sounded so genuinely excited when we said we wanted to put an offer in. We honestly never meant to string them along or mess them around.
I said to DH we should send them some flowers or chocolates to apologise for retracting the offer but he said that's ridiculous and I need to stop worrying about it. I know I should.stop worrying really, we had to do what was right for us but can it hurt to just send a small token to apologise?

OP posts:
Iflyaway · 15/07/2020 00:17

OTT to send flowers, sorry.

I would be weirded out by that and wonder what they expect from me..

TheNewLook · 15/07/2020 00:18

You didn’t do anything wrong OP. Move on. It happens all the time in house buying and selling. The estate agent was frustrated because they thought they had finally shifted a tricky property. We’ve been trying to sell a place for a while, have had three separate buyers get almost to the end of the process and pull out. We’re used to it. You can’t get emotional about things like this.

TheNewLook · 15/07/2020 00:19

But no, don’t send flowers - that’s making it weird.

CrowdedHouseinQuarantine · 15/07/2020 00:22

no, move on, literally.
they will get over it.
but please no flowers, that is silly, and annoying.

wildcherries · 15/07/2020 00:26

That would annoy me so much if I were them. It's way OTT.

Strawberrypancakes · 15/07/2020 00:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 15/07/2020 00:34

Every time I have sold a house I have had a buyer offer and retract within 48 hours. It happens. It cost me nothing. It's part of the hassle of selling a house. After 2 years they probably are gutted but if you're the first offer in all that time they need to drop the price.

MadameMeursault · 15/07/2020 00:37

No you did an awful thing. Those poor people. Leave them alone.

How ridiculous! Please don’t take any notice of this OP, this poster is being mean to you completely unnecessarily.

You didn’t really do anything wrong. Ok you got their hopes up for a couple of days but you shouldn’t buy their house because you feel guilty! No-one would do that for a complete stranger. The EA was mad because he could see his commission disappearing, not because you committed some terrible crime. There things happen.

Move on, and good luck with your house purchase. Oh and don’t send anything, that’d be weird.

MadameMeursault · 15/07/2020 00:37

*These not there!

TatianaBis · 15/07/2020 00:37

It’s an offer! It’s fine OP, happens all the time. Don’t send anything that’s just weird.

If they’re having that much difficulty selling their house they need to drop the price.

Italiangreyhound · 15/07/2020 00:43

What you did was fine. You changed your mind. On such a major major purchase, it's fine.

Don't buy them flowers.

Don''t tell lots of people and paint yourselves as the horrible person.

You are not horrible. It's fine. Thanks

Hobgoblinz · 15/07/2020 00:45

Crikey some of these responses are very dramatic. Personally I would appreciate flowers or chocolates if I were in the vendors’ position, as it would be nice to know that you had given us some thought. They certainly wouldn’t go ‘straight in the bin’ if I received them. The mind boggles at how some people conduct themselves, and at their attitudes to their fellow humans!

You haven’t done anything wrong though, so try not to worry too much.

caringcarer · 15/07/2020 00:55

The owners of first house probably just want to forget you. I would not do any that could be misconstrued as winding them up.

Mothership4two · 15/07/2020 01:00

This is part and parcel of the English house market. We have done it (2 weeks later not 24 hours) and had it done to us. We also had a seller pull out and take a higher offer (gazzumping I think?) after we had shelled out for the survey which was fucking annoying. Sometimes whole chains collapse or people just change their minds. You might have found something unacceptable to you on the survey and decided to pull out then. This was early days OP, forget about it and move on. You are not a heinous person!

It isn't weird or rubbing salt into their wounds to send flowers, but it is not the norm and so they may find it slightly odd. From their perspective, I doubt they would give your gift much headspace as they just want to sell their house.

If it has sat on the market for 2 years, it sounds like it is overpriced. Maybe there is some offputting detail that you were not aware of or that would have come out in the survey?

Hope you make it into your dream home

MusicTeacherSussex · 15/07/2020 01:02

Just leave it I think,they might find it weird. All's fair in property 🥺

Butterfly44 · 15/07/2020 01:30

No. Leave it be. It's over. Anymore is rubbing salt into wounds

Onestepup · 15/07/2020 01:50

Just leave it.

peachypetite · 15/07/2020 06:01

Less than 48 hours - you haven’t done anything wrong!

WhatTheWill · 15/07/2020 06:13

@pandafunfactory

No you did an awful thing. Those poor people. Leave them alone.
Bit dramatic. It's all part and parcel of house buying and selling houses. Not like they were weeks into the conveyancing.
poppydull · 15/07/2020 06:23

We also had a seller pull out and take a higher offer (gazzumping I think?) after we had shelled out for the survey which was fucking annoying

Funnily enough this is never condemned in the same way 🤔

RaisinGhost · 15/07/2020 06:24

You pulled it straight away so sure it's annoying to them but it hasn't cost them any time or money so don't feel bad. But dont send a gift! That would seem very weird and isn't necessary. Seems like rubbing salt in the wound really.

redcarbluecar · 15/07/2020 06:41

You’re overthinking a bit here; the sellers will be disappointed, but you weren’t far enough into the process for them to have been really disadvantaged. Flowers might feel a bit patronising and I’d leave it. I think it’s quite exciting that you found your dream home, and hope it all works out well for you.

WhatTheWill · 15/07/2020 06:43

@LaurieMarlow

No you did an awful thing. Those poor people. Leave them alone.

This. I’d be putting those flowers straight in the bin. Don’t add insult to injury, you’ve done enough damage.

What damage has been done? 😂 Gosh the hysterics on here Hmm
Anniegetyourgun · 15/07/2020 06:46

An offer is just the tentative start of negotiations. It doesn't commit you to anything. If the vendors got all excited just because there'd been an offer they were being very unrealistic.

Dita73 · 15/07/2020 07:04

Don’t send anything. You’ve done nothing wrong and certainly not anything awful! It’s brilliant you’ve found your dream house. Look forward to moving in and forget the other one. Their estate agent sounds a bit of an arse too but it’s not your problem so don’t worry. Congratulations