To want to send flowers or something to the house we pulled the offer on

[Tobytoesgoes]

We put an offer in on a house that we genuinely would have been very happy in but it was not the dream home. Literally later the same day the perfect house was listed on Rightmove. We didn't see it had come up before we put in the offer. It was our first offer and we anticipated a bit of negotiation so decided we had time to go view this house and booked that but the offer was accepted. We went to see the house anyway just to explore the possibility and it was honest to goodness, perfect for us. Every box was ticked and we can see ourselves living there forever. We offered the asking price straight away as it was so new to the market and they accepted. We immediately pulled our offer for the other house. The agent did sound so annoyed when I told him. I feel honestly terrible for the first house owners. It had been on the market for 2 years and the agent sounded so genuinely excited when we said we wanted to put an offer in. We honestly never meant to string them along or mess them around.
I said to DH we should send them some flowers or chocolates to apologise for retracting the offer but he said that's ridiculous and I need to stop worrying about it. I know I should.stop worrying really, we had to do what was right for us but can it hurt to just send a small token to apologise?

[Roselilly36]

It’s a kind thought, but any gift would be unnecessary, just leave it.

[HeartZone]

Your husband doesn’t sound very nice

Hilarious!

This is life, you changed your mind very early on in the process. No one has died!

Move on and good luck with the move. You sound a very sensitive and caring person. But no chocolates or flowers please!

[DuineArBith]

"An awful thing"? "You've done enough damage"? Seriously?

It's house selling, They had an offer, it was withdrawn within 48 hours, they didn't incur any expense. Something similar happened to us, we were disappointed, but we regarded it as just one of those things. If people think this was so awful and damaging, into what category would they put buyers who pull out just before exchange of contracts? On this scale, it must be somewhere up there with murderers.

[rwalker]

It will be upsetting for vendor but it was 48 hours after offer not 48 hours before completion so as harsh as it sounds I would leave it.
Also doubt gift would be well recived .

[BalloonSlayer]

You didn't do "an awful thing."

That's why the process is like it is: offer, survey, etc, to give you loads of time to make sure it's what you really want and give you time to back out.

As for it being on the market for 2 years, well, that's kind of better than if it was new on, they'd had loads of offers but turned down others to accept yours, which you then withdrew.

Somebody will probably do this to you one day, and you will now be understanding.

[Inthebarre]

This happened to me once OP, and I felt rotten about it.

I made an offer on house A, it was rejected, so I made an offer on house B, it was accepted. Like you the agent sounded really happy.

So then house A decided to accept my original offer a few days later. The agent for house B was really quite unpleasant and I felt awful but it was one or those things. It took a while for me to stop feeling bad though.

[ShebaShimmyShake]

You did nothing wrong, but don't send anything, it'll just annoy them. You had a right to pull out (same day, no costs incurred, just a few hours of hope) and they have a right to be unreservedly upset.

[canyoucallbacklater]

No, an awful thing is stabbing someone.

You did the best decision for your family. You accepted a house on a gentleman's agreement - not in a legally binding document. You pulled out a couple of days after having your offer accepted - not months down the line.

The house didn't suit your needs as well as another one - that's the game of the property market, unfortunately. If their house has been on the market for two years, that's not your fault.

Enjoy your new house OP, buy yourself some flowers. How very exciting for you!

[Bluesheep8]

No you did an awful thing. Those poor people. Leave them alone.

How ridiculous. The OP is meant to buy and live in a house she doesn’t want for the sake of their feelings? Selling is shitty sometimes it’s also life and these things happen.

Exactly. It happens. And you have to anticipate the possibility of it happening when you put your house on the market in this country.

[Zhampagne]

No. If you want to assuage your guilt then give the money you would have spent on flowers to a charity.

[Mrbigb]

It’s happens, your flowers aren’t going to help so just leave it.

[PleasePassTheCoffeeThanks]

Don’t add insult to injury, you’ve done enough damage
No you did an awful thing. Those poor people. Leave them alone

I’m not sure what damage OP did? The sellers didn’t lose any money, they didn’t refuse someone else’s offer because if OP’s.

They got their hopes up for 48h, annoying maybe but definitely not «damaging» or «awful».

[Ihopeyourcakeisshit]

I have no idea why some have given you a hard time?
You were 2 days in, if you'd pulled out just before exchange or whatever, you would be a shit.

[isadorapolly]

Don’t worry about it op, you didn’t do anything wrong.

[LuaDipa]

It’s an unfortunate situation but you didn’t really do anything wrong. When you are making a purchase of this magnitude it has to be the right one for you. And if the house has been on the market for two years that isn’t really anything to do with you. I would argue that they need to look at the condition and decor of the house or the price.

We moved last year and genuinely didn’t assume that our house was sold and the new one bought until the day we actually moved in. Even when contracts are exchanged, the buyer/seller could still pull out - it would just cost them. When we got the keys it was like a weight was lifted. This is really not your fault, just part and parcel of the selling process.

[FearlessSwiftie]

I wouldn't send anything but also I don't see anything terrible. Of course, it's not a very nice situation for the owners of the first house, but you didn't OWE them, you know? it wasn't even a deal, so it's okay

[ImAncient]

Buying a house is a property transaction on several 100 thousand pounds. Most people care more about buying £30 dress then they do a house. It’s the biggest financial transaction you’ll ever make. You did the right thing. Honestly I’ve seen properties fall at the last hurdle or people pull out because of a bad survey. It happens. I’m at ex solicitor so sometimes saw it on the morning of exchange. It happens don’t beat yourself up about it.

[yelyah22]

Some of these responses are hilarious. I wonder if the posters who are fuming about it would be the same if OP had pulled out due to something in a survey?

[AvonCallingBarksdale]

Yesterday 23:09 pandafunfactory

No you did an awful thing. Those poor people. Leave them alone.

OP hasn’t done an “awful thing”. Should she have bought a house just to be polite? What an odd thing to do. We’ve been gazumped, gazundered and had people pull out. It’s part and parcel.

[Lemons1571]

This happened to my parents! A neighbour they barely knew was going to buy their house as it was a nicer plot. The process didn’t get very far before the neighbour decided to move near her son, and dropped out. She then showed up on parents door step with flowers and chocolates to “celebrate their friendship”. It all sounded most odd and I don’t think they ever spoke again due to the awkwardness.

[yelyah22]

P.S. OP I'm in the process of selling a house (not mine - a deceased family member's) and we've had two offers made and retracted so far, one much further down the line, thanks to the rona. It happens. Don't send flowers, but only because you haven't done anything wrong.

[xolotltezcatlopoca]

I think you are a nice person, OP. But yeah, better to just move on.

[Incrediblytired]

Don’t send anything.

I initially hated you for messing them about but actually 48 hours isn’t much in the scheme of things and it’s not the end of the world. I’ve been messed about repeatedly nearer to exchange and that is out of order!

Don’t send flowers, they’ll bin them. If you’re desperate to do something then donate to a food bank and put a card through their door apologising and saying you’ve tried to balance karma a bit by doing so.

[youremindmeofthebabewhatbabe]

Some bizarre replies here, OP you sound really nice, you've done nothing wrong, and your husband is right, just leave it, it's all part of the property market. The only reason the estate agent was pee'd off was because they weren't getting their commission, i can bet it wasn't out of care for the vendors, or because they think you've done something reprehensible. It happens all the time. When selling or buying houses everyone knows nothing is certain until you have keys in your hand. The posters saying you did something awful aren't living in the real world, or they are just goading. Bet they wouldn't spend life savings on something they didn't want just to make sure strangers weren't disappointed. That's nuts. You sound really lovely and I really hope it works out for you with your dream home xx

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Some huge overreactions here.

You did an awful thing They put in an offer one day, withdrew within a day or so. It's not like they pulled out on the day of exchange of contracts.

If the house has been up for sale for two years with no progress there's something amiss - overpriced, problems with the searches or survey, for example.

Alternatively, they might have been strung along by buyers who withdrew at the last minute after asking for a big reduction in price at the last minute and not getting it. (This has happened to a friend of mine recently - developers.) That really is awful behaviour. Changing your mind at the outset isn't.

OP, put it behind you and move on. Don't bother sending anything. It's a nice thought but will just prolong the agony for both of you.